What would you do if your signifigant other spit in your face?

a reply to: TinfoilTP

You obviously have some issues.

a reply to: Liquesence

Agreed

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
a reply to: TinfoilTP

You obviously have some issues.

Let's list yours,
No sense of humor

originally posted by: TinfoilTP

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
a reply to: TinfoilTP

You obviously have some issues.

Let's list yours,
No sense of humor

You have poor reading skills bc your joke didn’t even make sense.

If u would have read it correctly and tweaked the joke a bit perhaps it might have been funny but doubtful considering it involves my SISTER.

Wtf dude?

Gross much?

Oh no.......I wonder if there is physical abuse going on. Like another poster said, if he's doing this in front of others, what is he doing when no one else is there? And getting that upset about having a friend over- it screams of control issues, which abusers frequently have.

How do their kids seem? Have you ever gotten any uncomfortable hunches from them? If he's abusing her, the kids know.

Let her know she can show up at your place anytime, no questions asked. If she knows she won't be given the third degree if she comes(at first; of course after she settles in opportunities for questions will arise), maybe she will be more likely to leave.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I can imagine your fury and worry!

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric

originally posted by: TinfoilTP

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
a reply to: TinfoilTP

You obviously have some issues.

Let's list yours,
No sense of humor

You have poor reading skills bc your joke didn’t even make sense.

If u would have read it correctly and tweaked the joke a bit perhaps it might have been funny but doubtful considering it involves my SISTER.

Wtf dude?

Gross much?

If your significant other is your sister, it is you with the problem, dude.

originally posted by: TinfoilTP

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric

originally posted by: TinfoilTP

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
a reply to: TinfoilTP

You obviously have some issues.

Let's list yours,
No sense of humor

You have poor reading skills bc your joke didn’t even make sense.

If u would have read it correctly and tweaked the joke a bit perhaps it might have been funny but doubtful considering it involves my SISTER.

Wtf dude?

Gross much?

If your significant other is your sister, it is you with the problem, dude.

Tinfoil, are you drunk this evening? Seriously.

He needs a beat down, but if you did that ,he would take it out on her .
If she does leave his sorry was then you drive 100a of miles and then deliver said beat down.

I would say this is likely the tip of the iceberg.

It should be a red flag for her and for you...

If she broke down and told you and was as upset as you say then it's possible she's been suffering in silence for some time.

I would speak with her. I would be honest and open and let her know you're concerned, that you're there for her, that you love her and that she's a valuable human being...

No macho bull#. (Not saying you would)

No threats. (Again, not saying you would necessarily)

ETA: I meant the above two points in regards to him of course.. i wasn't suggesting you'd be threatening your sister

Don't push your agenda (even though, if you come to the conclusion she is in an abusive relationship, you're going to want to).


Make it clear she can talk to you without fear of judgement, criticism or recriminations (this can come out in the form of anger or frustration on your part, directed at him but felt by her)

Make it clear she has a place of safety for her and for the kids if she wants it (only if you're genuinely able to provide that of course).

Maybe try get out to see her or meet up (sounds like maybe that's happening over Christmas anyway).

I hope she's ok and I hope you're ok too.. It must be super worrying for you right now. Hopefully it's just a one off (a disgusting and unacceptable one off of course but better that than a pattern of behaviour).


All the best to you and your sister..

originally posted by: TinfoilTP

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric

originally posted by: TinfoilTP

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
a reply to: TinfoilTP

You obviously have some issues.

Let's list yours,
No sense of humor

You have poor reading skills bc your joke didn’t even make sense.

If u would have read it correctly and tweaked the joke a bit perhaps it might have been funny but doubtful considering it involves my SISTER.

Wtf dude?

Gross much?

If your significant other is your sister, it is you with the problem, dude.

Yet again I will say, you have extremely poor reading skills.

If you continue posting in this thread and wish to not look like a complete moron, I suggest that you actually go back and read the op in its entirety... very slowly apparently.

Otherwise, you’re going to continue to look like an absolute fool.

If you choose to continue posting without knowing what you are talking about, you’re an idiot and you should move on to The hoax forum.

If you are willing to spit in someone's face you certainly don't love them. I would tell him to hit the road and contact my lawyer on Monday.

a reply to: Indrasweb

Much appreciated... really

We’re both a little emotionally odd when it comes to talking and expressing them bc of our experiences growing up.

But, we know each other and know how to get through in our weird way.

I’m not going to let this go.

originally posted by: KansasGirl

originally posted by: TinfoilTP

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric

originally posted by: TinfoilTP

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
a reply to: TinfoilTP

You obviously have some issues.

Let's list yours,
No sense of humor

You have poor reading skills bc your joke didn’t even make sense.

If u would have read it correctly and tweaked the joke a bit perhaps it might have been funny but doubtful considering it involves my SISTER.

Wtf dude?

Gross much?

If your significant other is your sister, it is you with the problem, dude.

Tinfoil, are you drunk this evening? Seriously.

He/she is seriously not on point for commentary for sure. Sheesh

originally posted by: Metallicus
If you are willing to spit in someone's face you certainly don't love them. I would tell him to hit the road and contact my lawyer on Monday.

Right?

I can’t understand why he would do it? I can see myself punching someone before I would spit on them.

So strange

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

I understand.. sometimes though, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Maybe take a chance on communicating honestly and from the heart about this. I know that can be difficult for some, it can make people feel vulnerable and awkward but.. sometimes you just have to take a chance.

We get to define ourselves as whatever we want, at any time of life, no matter what has gone before.

Anyway, you know yourself best and, anything you do or say is coming from a good place ultimately (even if the reasons are bad/sad/negative) so, I'm sure you won't go too far wrong

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric

originally posted by: Metallicus
If you are willing to spit in someone's face you certainly don't love them. I would tell him to hit the road and contact my lawyer on Monday.

Right?

I can’t understand why he would do it? I can see myself punching someone before I would spit on them.

So strange

Its a sign of extreme contempt.
He may have a real problem with that particular friend but, to be honest, its more than likely a control issue, as mentioned above.

Red flag waving high.

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
When she calmed down she told me that her husband had spit in her face TWICE and berated her relentlessly.
...
Apparently he was upset that she had a friend over to visit...he even did it right in front of her friend!!!!
...
I would NEVER do something so disresptful to anyone.

Well, you didn't get the whole story. You got her side of the events. Which always conveniently leaves out the important parts that the other side cares about.

So, I would stay out of it.

He was upset that she had a certain friend over, which he took as disrespecting his wishes, so he disrespected her in return, in front of the friend to make his case clear.

They are having a lover's "control" spat.

It could even be deliberate, an attempt by one or both sides to "stir up" the other side, in order to put some "emotion" back into a dry relationship. After argument, they kiss and make up, and the following make up is "sweet" and "tender" because of the tiff.

Lovers do this all the time, all around the world.

When things get boring, one or the other get desperate, and begin to do things that they know annoy the other partner, just to pull out those emotional prangs that are needed from time to time to keep the relationship "hot."

originally posted by: AMPTAH

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
When she calmed down she told me that her husband had spit in her face TWICE and berated her relentlessly.
...
Apparently he was upset that she had a friend over to visit...he even did it right in front of her friend!!!!
...
I would NEVER do something so disresptful to anyone.

Well, you didn't get the whole story. You got her side of the events. Which always conveniently leaves out the important parts that the other side cares about.

So, I would stay out of it.

He was upset that she had a certain friend over, which he took as disrespecting his wishes, so he disrespected her in return, in front of the friend to make his case clear.

They are having a lover's "control" spat.

It could even be deliberate, an attempt by one or both sides to "stir up" the other side, in order to put some "emotion" back into a dry relationship. After argument, they kiss and make up, and the following make up is "sweet" and "tender" because of the tiff.

Lovers do this all the time, all around the world.

When things get boring, one or the other get desperate, and begin to do things that they know annoy the other partner, just to pull out those emotional prangs that are needed from time to time to keep the relationship "hot."

Sounds like twisted emotional manipulation... not love.

This is her brother caring about emotional and physical abuse... not some silly manipulative lovers game .

a reply to: AMPTAH

So, despite whatever is going on in their marriage that I’m not privy to, she deserved getting spit in the face?

Gotcha

She provoked it to instigate something. Gotcha!

I will not stay out of it bc if she told me, she wanted me to be involved on some level.

If she doesn’t want me to do anything, she will tell me to butt the hell out.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric


Your sister needs help.

I don’t care who was visiting, that is sick behavior. He sounds abusive, controlling.

A guy did this to me once because he was upset that I talked to my friends too long once while we were all out. I thought he was just drunk.

The same guy tried to beat me to death 2 years later because I was late coming home from work; I visited my best friend for a bit who needed a shoulder to cry on.

I had to go to an eye dr for over a year due to corneal tear, had a concussion. strangulation marks on my neck, and two black eyes, and bruises on the sides of my head. I only remember a brief part of the beating and lost 3 hrs time from when I got home to when an ambulance finally picked me up, I somehow made it to a neighbors.


Control issues and disrespect like this is abusive and it always escalates.

Please if you can take her in, let her know. Restraining Orders don’t always protect either.