Why alimony and child support is BS

Why don’t you take custody of the child and see how much it really costs? Believe me you’re getting off pretty good on thst deal. As to your abortion comment, yes take responsibility , wear a condom

a reply to: CaptainHook

I think the system in the US is screwed up.
One of the things that I caught onto slowly in Europe and that really surprised me was the lack of a war of the sexes. I suspect that differences in the system are a major source.
In France at least, alimony is rarely done, but when it is, it is temporary (not long term), often agreed upon between the ex-spouses without any court order (amicably), and even when it is court determined it is the spouse who has a better income that pays- whether that be the woman or the man.
I have a friend who divorced about ten years ago, and they simply came to an agreement that she would pay for his apartment because she had a better income. She's still paying for it, though he lives with a girlfriend and their new baby. They have always shared custody of their two daughters, who live half the week with one, and half the week with the other.

Also, men must make a declaration of fatherhood at the mayors office within three days of a birth- even if they are married. Men have the right to decline fatherhood rights and responsibilities.
There is a strong social security net- people receive aid from the state when they are struggling, so there is less burden on individuals. It is done in a way which is gradual- you don't lose all aid if you have a job, it is supplemented according to how much you earn. This opens the possibility for more men to handle custody themselves if they want, as well as women not feeling obligated to ask of the other parent.

But still, it might be a cultural thing at the base, because women and men really appreciate each other in general. The contrast is striking. The values on individualism in the US are bound to put more on the shoulders of men and make women more dependent on them. The collectivist values are sometimes equated with a feminine mindset and I think that has some merit to it. Naturally, women have a handicap in working society because they go through periods of pregnancy and caring (breastfeeding) infants. With a solid support from the society, they can get through those periods and keep their head above water. If there isn't that they need to turn to a individual to help them.
This one element gives way to a war of sexes, in which women start to see men almost exclusively as providers. Women's magazines fill up with articles on how to get a man and keep him. Men start to see women and children as gold diggers and leeches. Women master the art of being covertly manipulative and passive aggressive, men develop a mask of hardened ego and self reliance. Bitterness grows between them.

I find it a sad relationship.

a reply to: CaptainHook

Yep it's a scam, I'm a single dad, I get $12 a week in child support from his mother, the child hasn't seen the mother in almost 4 years, according to child support she is paying the required amount..

a reply to: CaptainHook

Because both parents should be involved in the upkeep of the child. Its that simple. What skin do you have in this I wonder?

My daughter received for child support for her child. Even though he was married to someone else she returned it so he could get tires for his car when no one else would help. When he had other emergencies she gave him back his money. It was always used properly and she was not out spending on her clothes, jewelry, alcohol, drugs or anything else.

There are many responsible mothers out there.

I remember one guy bragging about almost no child support because he was getting most under the table. The ex left him the house, car, etc. and took the kids. She never bugs him about anything and he doesn't have to take the kids and mess up his social life. I just looked at him and thought she must really have wanted to get away from him.

I still see women who stayed home to raise children and then the man goes off and takes no responsibility unless forced to. Not all men are like that but the stereotype rings true because it is happens. Just like the gold digger women. Some people are responsible adults and some are not.