Why do you think it's ok to accept that women are incapable of standing up for themselves?

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: Phage

You are good at trying to read between the lines.

At what point do you bear some responsibility for yourself?

If I go to a bar, drink about 8 or 9 mixed drinks, have vastly diminished capacity and accept a ride home with the first stranger I see who promptly takes advantage of me, no doubt he's at fault, but at the same time, what was I expecting to happen?

I put myself in harm's way.

I've done that... being at parties and the first stranger I saw was the cab driver taking me home.😏
And yes...some cabbies try to hit on their passengers. I said SOME !

Wow, now even priests are preaching self responsibility and self accountability.

OK, so just one example.

www.rt.com...

An Italian priest has provoked outrage after telling a girl who had been raped that she was at fault, because she had chosen to get drunk and hang around with refugees.

I wonder if this individual would have been better served to NOT enter a situation like this? Or does she share none of the blame?

a reply to: Nyiah

I agree with you there. It should be a mutual, shared respect for both sexes.

Unfortunately, (at least in my experience with my male friends and acquaintances) men think they're god's gift to women. And when I would call them on their behavior, i was a "pussy"

originally posted by: ClovenSky
Wow, now even priests are preaching self responsibility and self accountability.

OK, so just one example.

www.rt.com...

An Italian priest has provoked outrage after telling a girl who had been raped that she was at fault, because she had chosen to get drunk and hang around with refugees.

I wonder if this individual would have been better served to NOT enter a situation like this? Or does she share none of the blame?

It isn't a sin to be naive. Many young people drink... and many trust that they won't be raped by young men they hang out with, but it happens. This priest is full of it, as far as blaming the victim.

a reply to: Sheye

I wonder, if someone would have been truthful with her instead of filling her head with lies about this reality, maybe she could have avoided this situation.

So, none of this is her fault or responsibility?

If I swim in a area full of sharks, should I blame them if I get bitten?

a reply to: ClovenSky

It's not about victim blaming it's about the idea that the media is trying put out that says women are helpless victims when they aren't if they choose not to be.

Meaning in instances where they can and should put a stop the behavior they should and be given the tools to do so. Also, I used to teach a lot of self defense classes to kids and many other adults and the #1 thing you have to get into peoples heads is that personal safety is about personal responsibility.

a reply to: ClovenSky

It's not about victim blaming it's about the idea that the media is trying put out that says women are helpless victims when they aren't if they choose not to be.

Meaning in instances where they can and should put a stop the behavior they should and be given the tools to do so. Also, I used to teach a lot of self defense classes to kids and many other adults and the #1 thing you have to get into peoples heads is that personal safety is about personal responsibility.

originally posted by: denybedoomed
Unfortunately, (at least in my experience with my male friends and acquaintances) men think they're god's gift to women. And when I would call them on their behavior, i was a "pussy"

I've not encountered many men throughout my life with that mentality. Now, on the other hand, I've known more women who've shown that "god's hot gift to men" mentality than not.
Including my mother.
It's not like it's a newer millennial mentality, the boomer women are REAL bad about this, too. When I've pointed our how trashy the mentality is, I've been called everything from a pussy to virginal.

Don't act like men are the only dogs out there, they're far from it.

originally posted by: ClovenSky
a reply to: Sheye

I wonder, if someone would have been truthful with her instead of filling her head with lies about this reality, maybe she could have avoided this situation.

So, none of this is her fault or responsibility?

If I swim in a area full of sharks, should I blame them if I get bitten?

I get your point... but so many young girls are plainly naive and don't see the manipulative and ulterior motives others may have. They are already blaming themselves for trusting assholes... why make them feel worse about themselves , when it is the rapists who should be claiming accountability?

a reply to: toysforadults

I hear you loud and clear. I am not sure exactly what to think at this point. I just don't think that in all of these cases, the victim is completely free of blame.

All I know is when I have suggested that maybe sensible options would have prevented this, I get shouted down almost immediately. Suggestions like, 'maybe you shouldn't go to that frat party', 'maybe you shouldn't walk around half naked', maybe you should be more aware of your situations and surroundings', 'maybe you shouldn't get that drunk at the bar', 'maybe willingly going into the snake pit that is hollywood isn't such a good idea'.

If you want to call that blaming the victim, then so be it.

a reply to: Sheye

That's a bit different than just some random guy at the bar with you. A cabbie is in a professional capacity. That doesn't mean you can't get one who won't try to take advantage, but it would look seriously bad for the company to have employees raping on the job.

We had an on-campus escort service that thoroughly vetted the guys who applied to be part of it. The purpose was for female students to be able to call it and have a safe male escort around campus after dark. Again, it would look bad to have them getting rapey or trying to take advantage, and there were rules against all of that, even down to hitting on the students they escorted.

originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: ClovenSky
Wow, now even priests are preaching self responsibility and self accountability.

OK, so just one example.

www.rt.com...

An Italian priest has provoked outrage after telling a girl who had been raped that she was at fault, because she had chosen to get drunk and hang around with refugees.

I wonder if this individual would have been better served to NOT enter a situation like this? Or does she share none of the blame?

It isn't a sin to be naive. Many young people drink... and many trust that they won't be raped by young men they hang out with, but it happens. This priest is full of it, as far as blaming the victim.

At the same time, someone did that girl a huge disservice by not telling her she was taking a risk by getting drunk with a bunch of young men she didn't know, no matter what their backgrounds were.

originally posted by: ClovenSky
Wow, now even priests are preaching self responsibility and self accountability.

OK, so just one example.

www.rt.com...

An Italian priest has provoked outrage after telling a girl who had been raped that she was at fault, because she had chosen to get drunk and hang around with refugees.

I wonder if this individual would have been better served to NOT enter a situation like this? Or does she share none of the blame?

Well, for one thing, if people decided not to do terrible things to other people, then we wouldn't have victim blaming


For another, the media is always telling kids how wonderful refugees are.
And finally, Priests are pretty rapey too, so he should shut up

a reply to: ClovenSky

I think I can agree that we should all be expected to utilize a little common sense & forethought in any given situation in our lives, regardless of gender. I'm not sure why women are so hot to beat around that bush themselves, whereas if it was a guy being given advice for how to not be a victim, he'd be regarded as a retard for not already doing any of it.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: Sheye

That's a bit different than just some random guy at the bar with you. A cabbie is in a professional capacity. That doesn't mean you can't get one who won't try to take advantage, but it would look seriously bad for the company to have employees raping on the job.

We had an on-campus escort service that thoroughly vetted the guys who applied to be part of it. The purpose was for female students to be able to call it and have a safe male escort around campus after dark. Again, it would look bad to have them getting rapey or trying to take advantage, and there were rules against all of that, even down to hitting on the students they escorted.

I knew what you meant... was just playin' with you and your words. There is security with cabs, that you don't get with a random stranger , or maybe even a long time friend of the party host.

a reply to: Sheye

I absolutely blame the perpetrators for interfering with another person's free will. They should always be held accountable. But what if these situations could have been avoided in the 1st place?

Why don't we consider educating the naive as an acceptable option?

We can't even be honest with each other on some of the more common and underlying issues of attraction between the sexes. Maybe if we stopped lying to each other in the area of romance and love, we could start figuring out how to heal this issue.

As of now, all I see is this situation getting worse and worse with each passing day. More and more hate building up. More and more mistrust entering the picture.

originally posted by: ClovenSky
a reply to: toysforadults

I hear you loud and clear. I am not sure exactly what to think at this point. I just don't think that in all of these cases, the victim is completely free of blame.

All I know is when I have suggested that maybe sensible options would have prevented this, I get shouted down almost immediately. Suggestions like, 'maybe you shouldn't go to that frat party', 'maybe you shouldn't walk around half naked', maybe you should be more aware of your situations and surroundings', 'maybe you shouldn't get that drunk at the bar', 'maybe willingly going into the snake pit that is hollywood isn't such a good idea'.

If you want to call that blaming the victim, then so be it.

I totally get what you are saying ... and there is much wisdom to your words. Just remember youth haven't made enough mistakes to learn the difficult way yet.

Bottumline, life is all about position.. all I have left to say about these sexual misconduct stories.. it’s not rocket science, when I look back at all my mistakes it usually ends up with the HOW I got into that position in the first place... OR what I did or why I did not realize I was in a bad position...

a reply to: ClovenSky

I agree... educating and warning of dangerous behaviour is a must.

a reply to: toysforadults

Because it's in most women's nature, to always play the victim. They got Affirmative Action because of it.