Lets talk about what's going on in the UK right now.

a reply to: GeneralMayhem

It's baking pastry, cakes and confections and some back biting too.

a reply to: stosh64

Im laughing about english muffins i pray no one asks.. im a crazy person if they do...

"bahaha english muffins haha you know like cookies haha buscuits get it??"

oh man

I may have derailed the whole thread lol, but It is a nice break isnt it?



cheers mate

a reply to: Reverbs

My husband's come in a few times to see why I'm laughing.

a reply to: Sillyolme

Everyone has played the game at some point - most won't admit it.

I'll set the scene, you've been out for a meal/takeaway and a few beers one night and it wasn't great. You wake up next morning and it ain't feeling great down there, so you sit on the sofa nursing your hangover.

Suddenly you get the urge to break wind (I'm being as polite as I can). However due to the hangover and not wanting to disturb the dog asleep on the floor you suddenly have a big decision to make. You think it's just a fart - but deep down you're not sure. It could just be a trump (win) but it could also be a lump (lose). The decision is yours! To gamble, be lazy and go for it - or play safe and head to the log flume?

*Note - this game is best played in pairs with a partner who will appreciate or better still share your dilemma. Mockery is essential if you lose.

*Note 2 - this is not from personal experience (honestly)

a reply to: stosh64

How often do we get a good belly laugh from this site? Keith didn't even believe I was on ATS because he's used to hearing me say things like "you're outta ya mind" not laughing like this. But I really gotta go cook him something. He keeps popping his head in here and mentioning food. Oh well.
Let's try to remember we are all people and obviously we can find common ground. I have a great relationship with butcher guy in the food forum. We just can't talk politics.
Cheers mate to keep it British.



Laughter...the best medicine

originally posted by: Sillyolme
a reply to: Reverbs

My husband's come in a few times to see why I'm laughing.

I just had to explain haha ..

now im being lick attacked by a ferocious pitbull.

she just scrolled my screen down with her tongue.

life is good. You guys are awesome.

a reply to: nonspecific

Bishop Flambard's fish stealing weir in Durham will be fixed before it blows out, hopefully. They hadn't started by this afternoon. Something's fishy about this.

www.durham.gov.uk...

Divers and specialist equipment will be visible in the River Wear in Durham City centre in the coming weeks as repairs are carried out to a weir.

Here they are getting on with the job in times past.

Fish catching weirs have been built on the River Wear for around 9,000 years. Bishop Flambard worked for William the Second. Flambard tried to catch every Salmon and Sea Trout that made it as far as Durham, to provide for his Norman friends and starve the locals who lived up river. His fish stealing weir was made from heart of oak boiled in coal tar. Parts of it are visible under the stones in the damaged weir and are about to be encased in concrete.

Thankfully we are much cleverer than our forbears and we've invented a machine that makes electricity out of fish and stuck it on the end of Flambard's fish stealing weir. www.fishlegal.net...

a reply to: DrBobH

Oh not to be too indelicate myself but I think I'd decide by the amount of pressure.
Sorry sorry sorry..


Back in the days of pay toilets this poem could be found inside may a public restroom stall.

Here I sit.
Broken hearted.
Paid a nickel
And only farted.

Ok I have yellow rice simmering. I have frozen pre cooked grilled chicken strips and frozen peppers and onions.
That's a meal if you ask me. Ill go back in around 15 minutes and saute those veggies and the chicken and call it good. No?
More time for play.

Tea... that comes with crumpets or something like that doesn't it?

Tea , a drink with jam and bread ...

Oh hang on that's the Austrians !

Tea in fact means dinner at home in most parts , and you can poo in the garden , on the stairs , or just in the good old bog - I will not mind I've seen it all before . After I've dropped the kids off I'll book you a flight

a reply to: Sillyolme

pay toilets!?

thats just diabolical

papers please!

I don't know it turned into a nazi pay toilet..

Now my mind just made "brexit" ...yea.. anyway..
Ive eaten too much maddame and now I must take a brexit.



In the Army we were trained to yell "back blast area clear" when firing shoulder rocket recoiless rocket launchers.. its a hollow tube with no back with rocket inside so fire shoots out the back.

you can just imagine the latrines..

"back blast area clear! Boom."

Forgot about that until just now.

originally posted by: GeneralMayhem
a reply to: smurfy

Are you remoaning by any chance there? Its all been said and done by the way , already . The vote was last year in June remember ?
The sooner those wanna-be Federalists are gone , the better!

Can you read, I really don't know since you just got here just to throw out presumptious cheek, or what ever tickles your tiny mind, now, try again with some manners, and read my post again...oh! and it would help to put a little meat on the bones re my post instead of wannaabee waffle.

a reply to: Reverbs

Two of my closest friends have pits. They do lick a lot and I'm allergic to their saliva. I break out in hives. One friend was astounded when she saw them raise up on my arm when her dog licked me. I mean within a minute. But they're such sweet dogs. Some rogue dissed them in a thread last week. I had to correct him. He said they were vicious and untrainable.

originally posted by: Reverbs
a reply to: stosh64

Im laughing about english muffins i pray no one asks.. im a crazy person if they do...

"bahaha english muffins haha you know like cookies haha buscuits get it??"

oh man

I may have derailed the whole thread lol, but It is a nice break isnt it?

cheers mate

We have Crumpet/s too!.....just to confuse.

a reply to: smurfy

btw wtf is a crumpet haha.
The way it sounds in my head is like a crunchy fluffy scone cookie (buscuit) mix..

yea Colour me confused alright.




makes me think also of a bigger girl sitting in a long dress poofed out around her.. shes a crumpet. lmao..

just googled.. why the hell do crumpets look ecactly as english muffins?? Im getting more confused

little miss muffits and tuffits oh my!


I just searched "are english muffins and crumpets the same?" and now im just.. sometimes in britain what americans call english muffins are sometimes called american muffins.. what is happening!

this is starting to feel like freedom fries. you have to be pulling my leg.

so you would just call the muffins??

then what do you call what i call a muffin? an american muffin?? hmm!?

lol

a reply to: GeneralMayhem

Doe a deer.
A female deer.

Yeah yeah.
Austrian kids wearing the curtains out to play.
And one wacked out Nanny who twirles around a mountain top with no company but the goats.
But the song is wrong because it says sew a needle pulling thread but the word is sol.
Do re mi fa sol la ti do.
You can't learn anything from Disney. Lol.

originally posted by: nonspecific
a reply to: Reverbs

I wondered how long it would take for someone to mention that!

Got to be the most embarressed in the world right now I think.

That's happened before, Richard and Judy TV man and wife presenters related a story almost the same that occurred at a house party.

The offendee, also a lady, had the same problem and threw the peskiness out of the window, it landed on the conservatory below where all the guests were, but in this case, the lady didn't know until she came back into the room with all these people turning round to look at her.... ooops..poops.

a reply to: Reverbs

I just laughed out loud again !
Yes pay toilets. Can you imagine? There was a slot to put in your nickel or dime and then you turned the knob kind of like the mechanism on a gumball machine.
We had three girls and my mom. Mom would pay and every time one girl finished and came out she's hold the door, which was on a spring to automatically shut, so the next girl could get in. If the door slammed shut she's have to pay again. You'd have thought a nickel was twenty bucks they way that woman carried on. Lol.
It was outlawed in the late sixties I guess.

en.m.wikipedia.org...

My apologies sir , and while you're from Northern Ireland then it is easy to forget that for your part of Britain then leaving is much more of a tricky affair . So sorry about that . If it were up to me , I'd give Northern Ireland back to the Irish .
When we fought the second world war , it was to keep the Germans from invading Britain . When we voted to leave Europe , we voted that the Germans should leave Britain . The CDU via the EPP are Europe's controllers , and no amount of 'we need foreign doctors' is going to convince me , or anyone who is proBrexit to change course . We , don't need foreign doctors , teachers , scientists , or any other foreign professionals to run this country effectively . In fact , there's a problem when departments such as social services are run and staffed mainly by Europeans . A big problem . Sorry if you don't like it .
We're getting rid of these problems , and there is nothing you can do about it . Sorry again
.

a reply to: smurfy

Yeah what are they though? Are they like scones?
Oh scones those are sweet biscuit like things usual with raisins or currents or cranberries. By biscuit I mean the raised and rolled out and cut with a cutter things you have for breakfast with sausage on them.
Ok I'm getting dizzy now.
I think ill just have soup.