Can a Man Ever Be One OF The Girls

In the below thread in which a critique of a subset of males was analyzed this gem came up.

in www.abovetopsecret.com...
c2oden wrote

Can a man ever be one of the girls? Would the girls act the same and say the same things around a man who considers himself one of the girls?

It has been my experience as a male that no matter which female grouping females vacillate between; they will even at times when they disagree on opinions amongst themselves encircle the "fort" lest the enemy (male) gets a heads up into their innermost thoughts.
They see men as useful depending on what benefits the female upto a point and pay lip-service to "an equal voice"

Why are all subjects "male" open for discourse by females, and yet certain female subjects are "taboo" or sacrosanct?

When a male approaches such circle depending on the topic such as the female art of persuasion or "telling little lies" for the greater good of men, the male quickly notices that the conversation drops a few decibels, furtive glance shared by the females, topic changed. If the male is allowed to join in the discussion, again after the females have telepathically reached consensus to allow him in, he will be allowed to participate as long as he agrees with the consensus; he will be given a short leash. Dare he voice a contrarian viewpoint to the "group think" he will be shouted down or ridiculed as being a typical male or that he just doesn't get it, even after he insists on clarification in fairness to reasoned discourse. Should one of the females take the males point of view she'll quickly be censured.

If there should be another male group, say their spouses, close by the 1 or 2 of the females may plead to the male group to get rid of the "dissenter" voice by quickly adopting him back into the male fold. The male group after reminding their wayward buddy that he'll never win "with females" and carrying on laughing and joking. When the male outcast tries to bring up the topic with the males the males will sneak a look at the girls to make sure they're not listening if they wish to carry on with the topic but usually they'll try to change the subject with inanities like "have another drink" or "you'll never win with women" as if its some battle of the sexes cast in stone and harking back to our Neanderthal days. Or the stupidest remark thrown by other males is "I know what side my bread is buttered on" or "I don't want to sleep on the sofa tonight".

Women get it, they don't need facts or reason or science...they'll use the ultimate weapon. withdrawal of sexual favour

When a female gracefully slides her way into a man's group, she initially uses body gestures charm and allure to disarm and relax and be readily accepted into the discussion; measuring up the attractive or voicey males in order win empathy.

This is the face of their idea of equality that they display disingenuously; do some women wonder why some men don't take them seriously?

Women, here's a tip, we're not all pu**ywhipped,
You will be called out for your hypocrisy

Men, speak your mind with civility but stand your ground. If you keep thinking with your "lower" part's for some future favour or reward, know that you are not empowering yourself or women; and you're not even guaranteed that you'll get that illusory reward.

You're just letting them have their cake, letting them eat it, and then they'll come for your cake!
If you think you can win, forget it, because in the female mind its not a competition, its some Darwinian survival mechanism that they'll never admit.

They need to win even whilst they momentarily concede defeat or a truce.

Has it ever been any other way in time, when it comes to this dynamic between the sexes in a group environment?

"...lots of people talkin, few of them know. Soul of a woman was created below."

a reply to: rexsblues

Care to be more specific or do you wish to tarnish the whole female gender...notice I called out both males and females for allowing themselves to be silenced by group think.

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

My 22 year old daughter's best friend is a young man who identifies as a woman, dresses as a woman, and has begun hormone replacement (I don't know what such an individual would be called). I guarantee you that she does not treat her friend anything like she would treat a male.

IMO,
Humans have biological genders, and that biology goes right down to the cellular level.

The nose knows. Pheromones are more powerful than you think. Nasal receptiors are wired to the brain for a reason.

In that note, no. Even if the "girls" are unaware, their subconscious will detect the presence of a male, except for in cases of extreme hormonal dosing starting at a pre-register age.



People forget that we're just mammals. All of this gender science applies to livestock as much as it applies to us.
There's much to learn by simply closing ones ears to enjoy watching reality take place. Talk, talk, talk.
Listening is almost as bad as talking these days.

Great post well worth being in Philosophy in my opinion. I treat it like a board game, if those rules and conditions are there I am not interested in participating. A good game player knows this and you simply become invisible. It all simply boils down to this, either your a nice puppet or your nothing at all. a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

Are you sure you're talking about Aussie women? Sounds more like an Islamic sermon to me.

a reply to: lordcomac

People forget that we're just mammals. All of this gender science applies to livestock as much as it applies to us. There's much to learn by simply closing ones ears to enjoy watching reality take place. Talk, talk, talk. Listening is almost as bad as talking these days.

Much wisdom is gained by stepping back and listening - even if you don't participate , with-in the group dynamic there will come a moment where you say " this is not so ". Whilst it's evident we're animals we try to rise above the loudest screams of "look there's a fire, run". Hopefully we evaluate whether there is a real threat of fire before joining the herd t stampede.

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

Its a reference to an socio experiment that was very popular in the 70's, with both genders I believe it was authored by Drs Robert Plant and Jim Page. Their lectures were often attended by loyal females and males that would mimic their writings and sayings. Some believe they lead the womens movement to to exercise and general fitness, by the simple greeting "Hello mother I appreciate the fluidity of your motion, therefore I will help you perspire as we listen to music and smoothly interact together.

a reply to: ancientthunder

Thank you. I should be quite, but depending on the mood of the group I'll call out the hypocrisy.

a reply to: Kalixi

Pretty sure - if It sounded like an Islamic sermon to you, maybe it's because you have spent an inordinate amount of time within a fixed social grouping.

Perhaps you have been spending too much time in apologist's circle's

the fun begins at 2:08 " all men are idiot's "


BTW in a westernized non theocratic States Muslim women and men still form the same group dynamics.

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

It seems to me that when a group of men or women are together, they tend to get into a sort of discourse which flows towards a sort of bragging about their strength and resistance to the other sex.

It is usually BS. No man wants the other men to know they actually feel emotionally dependent upon a woman- no woman wants the other women to know they actually end up being self sacrificing faced with their man and easily insecure when he is absent.
So they talk big, make claims of being the one in power in the relationship, make it sound like they are only in it for the sex or for the money.

But when there is a member of the other sex present, it is somewhat troubling because they know we're not that tough. They know we're mush faced with our love interests.

I don't think the collective force is used only upon members of the opposite sex either. I know when women are together, a woman experiences a threat of being rejected if she isn't on board with the chosen acceptable side of an issue,
and I've watched men also get the same sort of pressure amongst men- try to be the guy that says he loves his wife, she treats him well and is fair, when the others are on a rant about the evils of women! You all know that is the moment to stay quiet about your devotion and respect for a woman!

Just people being people.

a reply to: putnam6

Ah dazed and confused...

In the below song do you think Plant was praising how "fairly" courts treated males in divorce matters?
Even back then the female inner circle played the same game.

Led Zeppelin Lyrics "Heartbreaker"
Hey fellas, have you heard the news?
You know that Annie's back in town?
It won't take long just watch and see how the fellas lay their money down.
Her style is new but the face is the same as it was so long ago,
But from her eyes, a different smile like that of one who knows.
Well, it's been ten years and maybe more since I first set eyes on you.
The best years of my life gone by, here I am alone and blue.
Some people cry and some people die by the wicked ways of love;
But I'll just keep on rollin' along with the grace from the Lord above.
People talkin' all around 'bout the way you left me flat,
I don't care what the people say, I know where their jive is at.
One thing I do have on my mind, if you can clarify please do,
It's the way you call me another guy's name when I try to make love to you.
I try to make love but it ain't no use.
Give it to me Give it Work so hard I couldn't unwind, get some money saved;
Abuse my love a thousand times, however hard I tried.
Heartbreaker, your time has come, can't take your evil way;
Go away, Heartbreaker. Heartbreaker! Heartbreaker! Heart!

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

it takes a lot of time.

ive been there before.

ive seen girls do it in the guy realm..

its not easy.. you cant be seen as an invader or even deeper as a trojan horse.

it helps if your girlfriend is your in to tbe girl grouo because you get some background trust points.. lime a guest visa.... Almost...

You have to keep your Visa up to date and re apply frequently, but if you do it right you can hear about every girls menstrual cycles and crushes, and all the secrets... the secrets mostly involve guys who you may or may not know... NEVER think of these secrets outsude the girl group and bam you can be trusted.... to a level.. there are levels . lol.. you have to beat them in order (the levels) and any mistajes send you back to square one with 10% health...

guys have the exact same thing going on.. we just dont know we do it as much. i think women are a little more conscious than we (guys) are in general.

good luck my friends.

a reply to: Bluesma

I get that a lot of it is bravado and bonding - but I also call it out when a male in the group cries how badly he's been treated in a separation whilst slurring his word's.
"Perhaps it's because of your drinking that she left you ; you were drinking before it all blew up - don't drink and pretend that she drove you to drink"

As a woman living in France - how do you deal with the hypocrisy of infidelity


"In France, when it comes to cheating, everyone must remain discreet
The hacking of AshleyMadison.com amounts to the end of civilisation as we know it"

www.telegraph.co.uk...

It’s not that, should similar exposure occur, they fear being damned for their extra-marital affairs. But the key point in France is that, when it comes to cheating, everyone must remain discreet. Lying is the accepted way of things, including for the betrayed spouse. The French could not see what Bill Clinton, to name one celebrated two-timer, had done wrong. “Of course he lied,” we shrugged. That’s what a gentleman does

What's good for the male must be good for the woman - the tide's turning?

www.thelocal.fr...

1. They're cheating more than ever One in three French women (exactly 33 percent) say they have cheated on their partner, that's to say have had secret sexual relations with someone besides the person they're in a relationship with. This compares to 49 percent for French men.

Thank you for your input, I've always enjoyed the effort you out into your thought's.

a reply to: Reverbs

would you please clarify this - I suspect I understand what you're saying, just want you to clear it up...thanks

it helps if your girlfriend is your in to tbe girl grouo because you get some background trust points.. lime a guest visa.... Almost...

You have to keep your Visa up to date and re apply frequently, but if you do it right you can hear about every girls menstrual cycles and crushes, and all the secrets..


When it comes to apparel and shoes you better have that cash!

Usually she spills to vent how self serving females can be. She manages a team of 90/10% female to male ratio. She wishes sometimes she could use the male toilets to get away form the attacks she walks in on in the female "safe space" ...and then the subject's quickly changed, they know she doesn't suffer fool's ...LOL

originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight

As a woman living in France - how do you deal with the hypocrisy of infidelity

Well, I almost brought that up, but figured everyone must get sick of me talking about "how it is here in France...."

But these contrasts do cause me to reflect upon my own education and native culture in ways I wouldn't have if I didn't have that exposure!

For one, yes, there is a different attitude about lying in general. This, I have seen talking with other american expats here, is something which troubles us a lot. I have felt totally scandalized by seeing even superiors at work lie, or suggest to me that I lie! (somehow I expect people in positions of responsibility to have gotten there through exemplary ethical behavior... turns out that is a purely Protestant based ethical system).

Infidelity is not considered a masculine activity. Partly because sex drive is not considered a masculine attribute. No women here talk of punishing their mate through withdrawing sex- because that would suggest they are having sex with him for HIS sake. Women here are at ease with their sex drive. They have sex because they like sex- and that is considered normal. It makes no sense to them to say, "If I get mad at my mate, I shall refuse to have pleasure". I'll make myself suffer-
that will show him! Her friends would look at her like she is a moron.

There is some view that love and marriage is somewhat different from the sex drive alone. One can desire to have sex with a person without wanting to form a family and home with them... and even while simultaneously wanting to uphold a home and family with someone else. For both males and females.

They think that sticking to strict idea of open honesty on such extramarital activities is selfish and cruel.
It hurts the other unecessarily, and they say, why would you do that?
My american answer is to feel that one has been honest! But I see in their eyes their judgement on that- oh, so then you can consider yourself morally superior, because you were honest? Does that make you feel better? Is your feeling of moral superiority more important than the emotional pain you have caused to someone you love?

This doesn't mean everyone is cheating on their spouses. That is not true. Some studies suggest it isn't happening more than in the US, it's just that the common beliefs and ideas about it are less condemning. "Libertine" clubs are numerous and less "hidden" than in the US. It seems to be a common idea that couples in their 40's should have a strong enough emotional bond that they can go to those without trauma to their relationship. But it is supposed (according to general thinking) to be the woman who decides and proposes it.

In a way which is a bit difficult to explain to someone else, this culture is more maternal based- women have more power, and yet, it isn't detrimental to men. Women don't bother with passive aggresssive manipulation, they assert themselves (and their sexuality) in an open and direct way, which men generally tend to appreciate. At least they can relate to that better.

But a lot of men, I have seen, actually get excited about the idea of their women having a strong sex drive and even infidelity. Once upon meeting a friend of my husband for the first time, he looked at me and said, "SHE must have tons of lovers!" My husband laughed and made some sort of comment like, "oh yeah, many!".

I was so insulted and angry! I hated him from that moment on and pulled my husband aside to demand how he could have not punched that guy in the face! How dare he suggest such a thing!

My husband just felt it was a compliment. It was saying I was good looking, suggesting I was a strong person, probably highly desired by men around, and taking pleasure for myself, all the while remaining true to my devotion to the man I have formed a family and home with.

Men here feel a sort of pride in such an idea- everybody wants my partner, she can any of them and uses them like Kleenex, but I am the chosen one! -That makes him more important than having a mousy wife nobody really wants and who is clinging to her mate out of fear and necessity alone.

It's weird. It's hard to twist your mind around (at least for me). But I see less of a gender war here than I experienced in the states. I admit I do not play around on the side, and I don't think my husband does. I could be wrong. But I am almost ashamed to admit that here, because it tells of my insecurity and lack of bold powerful confidence in my sex drive and in my body.

We're both sorta clingy and needy with each other, having some trust issues with anyone else.

Why would we?

I mean, ... why!!!

All that gossip and cat fighting...

*runs away from the impending horde of hair flipping wimmin*

lol

/jk

originally posted by: lordcomac
IMO,
Humans have biological genders, and that biology goes right down to the cellular level.

The nose knows. Pheromones are more powerful than you think. Nasal receptiors are wired to the brain for a reason.

In that note, no. Even if the "girls" are unaware, their subconscious will detect the presence of a male, except for in cases of extreme hormonal dosing starting at a pre-register age.



People forget that we're just mammals. All of this gender science applies to livestock as much as it applies to us.
There's much to learn by simply closing ones ears to enjoy watching reality take place. Talk, talk, talk.
Listening is almost as bad as talking these days.

That's what they make pheromone perfume for and let me tell you it works. I don't use it often but when I really like someone and want to ensure victory I break that stuff out and it really brings out the all of the pleasantness in a man.

Oh and all of my girlfriends treat me just like one of the girls, pheromones or not. They also like that I have personal insight into the enemy camp (joking of course) and can give them behind the scenes of how men talk. Needless to say I have helped some avoid the BS and duck a d-bag or two.

a reply to: Bluesma

Thanks very much!!!!