What is your favorite(T&C complient) insult?

a reply to: nonspecific

What is your favorite(T&C compliant) insult?

My avatar - I've had to announce it as a trigger warning before so folks know not to read my diatribe, or if they accidently on purpose do and complain, the mods can simply refer to said trigger warning and continue imbibing alcohol and giving applauses.

Someone once called me a troll, I was more honored than offended and then someone else called me a retard too and I almost gave a sh!t....but alas, I didn't.

Bring on the insults so I may laugh and be entertained.

originally posted by: stonerwilliam
a reply to: nonspecific

Some of the milder ones i use are

Oi you with the hair on your head - everyone looks .

And for the religious amoung us - Oi deadhead /raghead

Out of all that millions of sperm you were the one to win

Its past your bed time son

Where's your avatar gone?

That's a question not an insult btw.

a reply to: AMNicks

I read a cartoon strip wherein the little guy was having trouble with his mother-in-law to the point they came to blows.

After the fight he said: Say what you like about her, but at least she's not effeminate.

a reply to: nonspecific

i just fancied going grey for a while

a reply to: nonspecific
Mouth breather and slow blinker are two of my favorites.
(Plus it's always fun to watch them breath through their mouths and blink slowly as they try to figure them out)

a reply to: nonspecific

Mine will have done... Little story from our little village -

Him and his mate (who was a copper) used to listen to Derek and Clive. They both used to do impressions loaded with expletives.

One day Dave (the copper RIP) was in his patrol car and he saw my old man on his bike (he biked everywhere, still does) so he gets the blue lights on and blasts the siren. He turns on his tannoy and gets right up behind my old man and through the tannoy shouts (in a cockney accent) "Pull over you cant! Pull the f**k over you stupid cant!"

It wasn't my old man, it was some stranger who quickly jumped off his bike and crapped himself.

Dave was apologetic but the bloke wasn't happy, wasn't happy at all!

you cant possibly be this stupid


can you?

I would slap you...but shat splatters.

a reply to: berenike

originally posted by: berenike
Someone told me I needed my brains tested.

"So do you" I replied "but they haven't developed microsurgery to that extent".

And we all know where the male brain is located...

"I'd call you an idiot, but then I'd get calls and letters from actual idiots angry at me for associating you with them."

"You must be Canadian."

www.pangloss.com...


...you yeasty bat-fowling skainsmait

a reply to: ElGoobero

That reminds me of an insult I read in a very old paperback. I'll have to clean it up for ATS:

You snake defecating son of an STD infected lady of the night.

a reply to: nonspecific

I rarely use 'off the shelf' insults, when you are as blunt speaking as I am they become redundant and unnecessary.

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: nonspecific

I rarely use 'off the shelf' insults, when you are as blunt speaking as I am they become redundant and unnecessary.

People often get upset with me as my humour is somewhat odd and I often do not know where to draw the line, the other day my partners daughter asked if she could have a chocolate bar and I said no and she said (jokingly) "Is it 'cos I is black?" and I said "no it's because your ugly and smell really peculiar".

Apparently 13 year olds do not have much of a sense of humour these days...

Ha, interesting thread! My favorite masked insult word is homunculus, both for sound and definition, but I have never actually put it to use

a reply to: nonspecific

May your bits and bobs,
Rot and fall off,
May your hair fall out,
When your hat you doff,
May your brain seep out,
Through your nose,
May your guts get removed,
Through a rubber hose,
May your house burn down,
And your horses bolt,
May your teachers curse you,
For a know-nothing dolt,
May your kin deride you,
For the rest of time,
Stay the bloody hell away,
From me and mine!

Theres one in poem form! You could sing it as a nursery rhyme if you like!