Another Bell Ringer

Time has robbed the valentine candy hearts
of their words and sentiments,
only their chalky sweetness remains,
words of love disappearing, replaced with pain.

I remember laughing at country songs
and their inevitable focus on love lost
but today's pop radio plays the same
broken hearts and lost hope refrains.

Why do we keep singing the same old lyrics?
Where is the science that will release us?
Will the next drink or hit deliver me
from suffering loneliness and despair?

Clocks and watches are ticking,
growing older reduces opportunity.
Will love truly come in good time,
when time appears to be running out?

Love songs are like salt on my wounds,
their promises of eternal love and care,
of intimacy and passion sound like an ad,
I find myself without the funds to buy.

Christians will encourage me that God loves me,
counselors will question my commitment to find love,
friends will try to drag me out to meet someone,
meanwhile I grow less and less inclined to search.

My landlord forbids pets,
I can't afford to move,
I speak to strangers,
I make eye contact with children.

Their smiles and bright faces,
partially heal my soul and temporarily soothe my heart
I would lay my life down for any one of them,
but their parents rightfully question my interest.

I guess this time of year
I will once again ring with pain.
I find myself once again
begging for a handout.

Sending brotherly (or sisterly, in my case) love your way! Great piece. I truly hope you find what you're looking for.

a reply to: grayeagle

This searching for something else, brings pain.
Everything you need, is right here, right now.

a reply to: zosimov

Thank you for taking the time to comment. This time of year is always hard for me. To be honest I don't know what I am looking for. I just know that writing out my pain always helps me.

a reply to: Nothin

There are days where loneliness seems like a distant relative. But then there are days when it has moved in and taken up residence with me.

originally posted by: grayeagle
a reply to: Nothin

There are days where loneliness seems like a distant relative. But then there are days when it has moved in and taken up residence with me.

Indeed GE. You have intelligence, gentleness, and a nice way with words.
What would it feel like: if you spent just as much energy in gratitude, for what you have, as you do on focusing on what is not present?
Is it because you feel like the loneliness is the strongest presence? It feels so strong and real, but it's not. It's an ego-creation. You can diminish it. You can!

a reply to: Nothin

I have family and friends that give me support and community for which I am very grateful. I have a good life and lots of hobbies and interests. I feel loneliness as an experience not as a mental construct. When I share my thoughts through writing I am purposefully expressing as much raw feeling as I can. I know it may appear that I am very desperate but the truth is, I am a writer. Thank you for commenting and sharing your take on it.

I too . . .grow old. But I find that the "opportunities" actually increase.
I see the chances . . .clearer. I see the "odds" better.

I don't care as much about little things anymore. I care more now about "other" things.

I, too, speak to strangers.

Peace.

a reply to: grayeagle

Thanks for your gracious reply.

Peace and blessings, for you and your loved-ones.