Online dating is fun :P

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: nonspecific

Dude?

What? Oh man...sorry to hear that bud...

You do what you have to though.

Yeah you might want to cancel the new suit for your best man duties buddy.

Not to worry though it was a bit rough but as I said in a nother thread we were too chalk and cheese and it was making us both miserable with conflicting lifestyles and dreams.

I still love her and hope that when it all settles down we can still be a small part of each others lifes, I managed to do it with my sons mum so hopefully we will be able to make it work out that way.

There is nothing that seems more distasteful to me than dating in the year 2016. Except on-line dating in the year 2016.

a reply to: nonspecific

You are at that age now Mr nonspecific where you got to take that Blue pill for the nights in



Glad you are getting back on the saddle ,

a reply to: nonspecific good to see you back in the game of courting, I must say I hope things are well for you and it was a peaceful split with no leftover harsh feelings
Sorry to be so forward but breakups make me sad and I wish friendship upon you and the past Miss/lass You were together with here on ATS
Its just, that I hadn't seen her in a while😇😢😊 I'm just a big baby that notices stuff.

Online dating is bipolar as hell.

Id did it for years before settling down. Either you end up with a real winner, or you end up with some really scary stalker/emotionally messed up people.

So you end up with a mixed bag of some fairly normal people with a mine field of crazy hiding behind profile names and deceptive head shot photos.

And guys, you know what I mean. The angled down from above head/shoulders only photos. I know instantly what that means when I see one.

Ladies, you aren't fooling anyone anymore with those deceptive camera angles.

a reply to: MystikMushroom wierd to me that people get feelings for a persons picture... there are so many people in real life to play the field ...but it is the future, hopefully everyone recalls how beautiful outside world is humans are wonderful in real life... but even they get buggeerd by lonesome busy bodies noticing stuff...i'll have to check out the bug life and ignore human people now... by!😊

a reply to: peppycat

Then why bother with offering a profile picture at all on a dating site?

If we are supposed to fall in love with the inner beauty we might as well have a no-picture policy on the dating sites. That way, everyone's equal.

Wait. Did I just come up with a great idea for a new dating site? Where the focus is all on the "inner beauty"?

a reply to: MystikMushroom

I think you need to open that site!!! A good idea!

a reply to: MystikMushroom yes it is a great concept to start! A place where people can only look within!... sometimes folks don't want just go into town and who knows where love awaits worldwide or locally...I believe it is out there for this planet... you just never know how far one would have to travel for the perfect pair..or two peas in a pod... whatever item? Is that the word for beloved? Partnership... so many different terms for dating!
I used to know a matchmaker... it seems like a good occupation, I say start a site, MystikMushroom

or not😊

originally posted by: kosmicjack
There is nothing that seems more distasteful to me than dating in the year 2016. Except on-line dating in the year 2016.

lol what :O

And what about it location was also not mentioned? Basically it would be a site dedicated to only allowing your personality to show. Details such as race, ethnicity, religion -- all of that wouldn't be part of your profile. You'd form connections with people based solely on your interests, goals, and outlook on life. Heck, within some reasonable (and totally legal) limits age could also be somewhat hidden. There might be a 30 year old guy who falls in love with the soul of a 45 year old woman or something.

Maybe the way it'd work is you wouldn't start off with a battery of questions either, rather an incomplete personality profile. The more you fill out, the more "matches" you find. This would be a motivator for people to spend more time on the site answering hypothetical questions about themselves to complete their personality profile.

It could even work like Cleverbot. You could actually create questions but you wouldn't know who they are being sent to. The questions you get asked might SEEM like the website itself asking you, but they too are actually questions about your personality created by other members.

If someone's serious about this and has the knowledge of how to do it. I'm on board. Why the heck not! I'm good at marketing/advertising/creative design and brainstorming. Actual coding ... I have no clue.

a reply to: nonspecific

Dude you sound creepy. You sound VERY creepy.

Did you post this to make your ex feel bad? Isn't she a member here?

I'm on team Mrs.Nonspecific, you're a little weirdo.

I asked her what her favorite power ranger was and that I liked the red one best, she could not help but respond to that.

WTF.

Dude you sound like a creepy old man trying to make your ex believe you're doing well with the ladies. I don't believe for a second you're doing well with women.

Go take a break. Anyone pretending to believe you is being nice because you're sad. It's OK to be sad, don't make an ass of yourself.

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: nonspecific
Dude you sound creepy. You sound VERY creepy.
Did you post this to make your ex feel bad? Isn't she a member here?
I'm on team Mrs.Nonspecific, you're a little weirdo.

I asked her what her favorite power ranger was and that I liked the red one best, she could not help but respond to that.

WTF.
Dude you sound like a creepy old man trying to make your ex believe you're doing well with the ladies. I don't believe for a second you're doing well with women.
Go take a break. Anyone pretending to believe you is being nice because you're sad. It's OK to be sad, don't make an ass of yourself.

I wasn't aware that we were choosing teams!

Since we are, I'm on team BOTH!!! I hope they both find what they are looking for and be very happy.

I can't tell if you were trying to be humorous in your post or just harsh and mean spirited.

The OP has stated that the current tone between he and his ex *is amicable and that she has moved on with another person and seems quite happy. It doesn't sound, to me, as if he is trying to 'rub' her a certain way. And if she has moved on, why would she care what he posts? I've not read him post anything 'mean' toward his ex.

I don't know if he's doing well with his online endeavors and it doesn't effect me either way except that I wish him well.

The OP has stated that he attempts to be humorous and just have fun, not be too serious. Perhaps we should all strive for that at times online.

Good luck to the OP and his ex missus! There will be haters along the way but be true to yourself and find happiness and peace. Ignore the rest!

The recognising a person's inner beauty thing is great and all but good luck to you when your date ends up being a cross eyed, no teeth having 35 stone behemoth with facial hair and a monobrow and she's desperately reminding you how you fell in love with her soul as you map your escape.

Hello ATS - I have not been in our forum for some time now... after 27 years of marriage to the wrong lady the mother of my two girls and moving from the US to UK (now 31 years ago) was asked to leave with divorce papers tucked into my bags....

I am a disabled VN era veteran....

My ex survived cancer but still is not well as she had both boobs removed along with 21 lymph nodes on one arm removed....

I stayed in a rotten marriage for the good of my two girls... The last 8 years my ex moved from our bedroom to another room with out conversation. She violated 4 prenuptial that were oral.... It does not matter had they been written... I did not seek legal advice, just signed. I decided 3 weeks after moving to the UK that my marriage was over when in 15 mins she violated all of them! We moved here to look after her father and his parents after her mother died.

She made the decision that her family was more important than a husband!

The above is an explanations to my lack of trust!

Living in a small hmmm old damp flat alone, I decided that I had to combat my fat that has been gain through the years due to her English cooking. No offense to English cooking! I was almost a Veggie when I left California and was a very careful eater whilst being very active. First year I found my importing business was breaking even but not making the money needed to support 4 generations ergo started a computer business as well. I ran two businesses side by side for 5 years until I could no longer justify the first business. May I say under today's business climate the first business would be doing well! My computer business was as a hardware hmmm expert (???) with first client to be WordStar.... Many other impressive names allowed us a very reasonable living in Devon! Clearly, I became a workaholic! Point is when one is not happy one cleans ones plate!

Being by the phone - too many hours 6 days a week, I became weak to the point that one had to crawl to a radiator to pull one self up off the floor. Remember I had many service connect physical problems.....

I decided not to contest the divorce and left with nothing signing over my rights to the family home, savings etc. I woke up in my flat with less than I had after 6 years of service! Not complaining as my ex could no longer work, but the system did not support her disability claims.... I am proud of myself for letting go and leaving with nothing as it meant my girls could return to the family home when they visited Mom! I did receive max disability with other benefits that kept me one step from being homeless, but with Internet and my Notebook. Honestly cannot complain as the third month I realized that I was free!

Long story short I decided to start walking on my village famous beach! in the first year I was clocking 6k a day, 5 hours. hmmm seeing happy couples made me realize how lonely I have been and I wanted some of that! 2nd year more walking worked my way up to 10 K.... Of course I did not walk in the rain being a true native Californian!

The 3rd years still working on ME and my mind set putting many things into perspective! I also cut myself off mostly from my internet friends and hmmm known friends.... I had to find out if I was the person it was claimed in the divorce papers or even if I was my own friend. I found myself with many local town friends in a town I rarely visited. I started having younger lady friends who were ONLY friends! By the end of the 3rd year I decided I was clear of the marriage and ready to start again.

The problem even though I was getting stronger and my blood sugar levels returned to normal thus no longer having to take tablets to control it, I was broke with no prospects! What lady would require my company..... Sex? Been 10 years since I had any ergo had nothing IMHO except the desire of having some lady to Love! My youngest daughter said if I did not make a online dating profile that she would create one for me! So I did one for M****h.com and another site... Not happy with any of the matches I quit looking in those. A life friend whom I met once I moved to Devon and who is NOT English with four failed marriages who moved to the UK for a fresh start was also a Palmer Grad in Chiropractic care. He keeps my "S" shaped back into shape so that I could pretend to be able body but with chronic pain! Sorry as I was saying W. sent me a link to a dating site for those who think that they are more clever than they are.

I made a profile in this on line dating site at the end of January. Again not finding any ladies that suited me in the first two weeks I was still hopeful. My ex left school at 16 and although she thought I was clever we were always at odds over many things. I vowed this time to have an equal in Uni degree or better. LOL at me as if I had anything on offer!

Then it happened! I found her!!! PhD+, What the hell does that mean? This site has 4 tests. First one is a must, based on Briggs Myers personality style tests. Of course it had me pegged all wrong but I was not going to argue. In the morning before walk I view Dr. X. When I got home after walking I view Dr. X! Before turning in I view Dr. X..... Of course I always looked at those who wanted to talk to me, mostly were not my cup of tea.... After two weeks of seeing the lady of my fancy I took the Sexual test and the Emotional test (2 different tests). This made no difference, I wanted her to see me..... My self confidence was an all time low after all what did I have to offer? Besides me!?!? Another week went by, so at 0200 having taken my second 10mgs of morphine I decided to take the IQ test. Never taken one of these before.... typical did not read instructions just banged into the test. I finish the abstracts which I have never seen those kinds of problems before.... By the time I made it to the math section I became aware of time! I look for a counter... There it was counting up NOT down! Darn if only I knew the time limit. I raced through the math as I wanted to complete the test. In the end I miss LOL my strong subject the math. My IQ is not the point except I was pleasantly surprised. I allowed those results to be seen on my profile....

The next day I received a wink from her!!!!!!!!

My heart was in my mouth dropping straight to my soul. I went on my walk totally on a high... Okay now wot?!?

On my walk I decided, since I allowed my male appendage to pick my ladies in the past, this time I wanted to be on a different level after all I was now 61! When I returned to my flat I had a short message from Dr. X! Something along the lines that I was 168 miles from her and she did not know why she was writing to me but we could at least write. I agreed.

From the Starting of the 4th week of Feb we wrote for 3 weeks in the web site. She then asked if I thought anyone was reading our words... I said yes the Mods.... LOL I offered her my email, not the throw away acct but my real life acct. There is no going back now! We wrote 1 - 3 times per day until July 14th, last! At this point we were also texting by cell albeit never one voice com. She asked if we were bold enough to hear each others voice? Brothers and Sisters, the wonderful thing about emails as it gives one a chance to read back and see how terrible one writes! I never had grammar as my youth was not a great life, enough said as you can see by this example, I suck at writing!

a reply to: IceHappy

Sorry for being long winded, my story is to give others a sense of hope.....

Writing emails allows one to use what was written to be used as bullet points thus like an outline going back and attempting to write better. I spent much time at this editing! When we got texting less time was available to adjust ones words... So the question to the phone conversation - I had to walk and clear my mind. Thus far we were getting to know each other very well! Main rule for the both of us was honesty! So after the walk I decided that I had to allow her to have a conversation as really that was the next level as it were! What did I have to loose???? My wonderful new pen pal that is what! What was there to gain.... A DATE - Oh yes of course that is what this exercise was about!

After two weeks of talking we made a date 2 weeks from then, in Cornwall, in a cottage.... What little I saved in the last three years was not important, then I saw the prices as its the most busiest time of the year. The expense was almost two months rent.... It does not matter! I am not materialistic as money is a tool to live and enjoy life! Nothing was available, I became panic! Dr. X sent me 3 suggestions all were hmmm more..... I swallow hard and made a suggestion of the second one, a wise choice in hindsight!

She asked for my bank details which I ignored. Three days later I received a cheque for the amount. We had a conversation over that one.... It was pointed out that I could not afford it.... there goes my pride.... Long thought of the late 60's and early 70's how much I wanted womens lib to work out and desired a strong but educated lady and of course what would I do in reverse.... after calling myself a few names I deposited the cheque. Our first date was a 3 day weekend! Only, a week before, I received a call from this professional lady that she did not really want to wait that long! She have between the drive (now known to be 230 miles as the web site was not correct in distance) round trip she had 18 hours.

To say that they were the best 18 hours of my life would be failing this last year as everyday we are better! We agreed to no hmmm physical relationship outside of my giving her a rub. I said I would be happy to sleep in the front room. After a 2 hour rub she was not having that.... So I suggested we just sleep together, after all what did I know about pleasing a lady which of course was a scary idea.... that did not last long.... I failed as many males would with fail marriage and lack of intimacy of 10 years and not having much core strength! That was okay.... She left after 18 hours whilst I was concerned about her drive back. We spoke on the phone as she had hands free in her car!

The 3 day weekend was beyond words thanks to the medic who prescribed the Male Vitamin that made the disabilities not effect the moment.

My lovely Lady is a who's who and very secure. Every time my male pride comes into what is being spent, I asked myself what did I do for my Ex? Why am I judging me.... She reminded me of my written words, "Money is only a tool for buying what is needed along with pleasures of life!" Last Christmas she had a family trip half way around the world! At this point she had made me an associate member of her hmmm not cheap gym. My old Ranger attitude resurfaced in the swimming pool..... I used to think Aqua aerobics was for wimps 28 years ago.... boy did I find out that was a stupid attitude from Sept to Dec. I worked very hard and found myself a new stronger body, still broken, still chronic pain only now its been 6 months without pain pills. I was asked in the steam room why I was NOT flying out to be with her... My answer was two fold. Man pride and economics.... 3 days later I found a ticket on my plate.... it was purchased several weeks before my sad answer....

This is now almost a year since our first voice conversation! I am now her driver as she has an important job with many phone calls and much work. In time she has the confidence in my driving that allows her to do work in the passengers seat on her notebook, this gives us more of "our time". My ex never like my driving and was very vocal about it once moved to this island! The funny thing is with what she has she has economically, she had more reason to have a long term writing relationship, whilst I had to have confidence in the person I wanted to be with. I am so very, very lucky as she is intelligent, beautiful and very physically fit! She is also 5 years my junior!

Here is the funny part. She never notice those test results that I took trying to attract her attention! The reason she saw me was not because the website link us due to compatibility as they had my profiling wrong, but, because each time I look at her profile that action put me on top of "People who view her profile" LOL....

I am not saying on line dating is for everyone. I needed a Lady who I could talk to and share ideas etc.... Someone who was real not like my ex who had no care of the world situation etc who considered me a conspiracy nut.... My new Lady is of higher consciousness and she understands the world as many of my fellow brothers and sisters here in ATS....

For Her and I - On Line Dating worked. We are one..... and no I do not live with her albeit this has been suggested by some of my village friends and ex! Keeping my flat allows us a place where my Lady is NOT busy and allows us to be together by CHOICE, not living arrangements or a piece of paper saying we are wedded.... Choice is what is important NOT to allow complacency to enter our lives. Mind you she is so bright I cannot imagine either of us ever reaching those shores. My girls accept her as her boys accept me, what is scary both of her parents are alive and they both accept me!

Guess that makes me one hell of a lucky man.... hmmm no guessing I am very lucky and exceedingly happy!

I have not listed any sites here as I do not wish to break T&C.... as if I ever read those..... If anyone would like to know the website that we met in as the sound of good tests for comparisons between perspective dates please PM me. I cannot guarantee success, just saying 4 sites, this was the one that worked for me! They are all international!

My Lady and I agree that one must be cleared of the past and by chance she lost her husband in the same month I was issued my exit papers! We both took the same time to clear ourselves from past relationships. One is never cleared as we are all a sum total of what life experiences we have survived. From time to time she sees my damaged from a partner who had no consideration for me and says sorry.... My story? I say never mind, Love, without my past I may have never met you.... I would not change one thing of my past as that could have endangered my chance of meeting you!

For those who are alone, for those who are sad.... please do not give up.... in a twinkle ones life can change.... you must be up for it.... most important.... between relationships find out who YOU ARE so that you are prepared!

As someone who left the US as California did not like my era Veteran I came close the December before My Ladies wink to move home to California. I never dated in the UK and would not even know how to go about it here.... In my village there are a lot of women like my Ex... I just needed someone close to my mind set!

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: nonspecific

Dude you sound creepy. You sound VERY creepy.

Did you post this to make your ex feel bad? Isn't she a member here?

I'm on team Mrs.Nonspecific, you're a little weirdo.

I asked her what her favorite power ranger was and that I liked the red one best, she could not help but respond to that.

WTF.

Dude you sound like a creepy old man trying to make your ex believe you're doing well with the ladies. I don't believe for a second you're doing well with women.

Go take a break. Anyone pretending to believe you is being nice because you're sad. It's OK to be sad, don't make an ass of yourself.

I am not sure where that came from but simply wow!

Yes she was a member but only really in a small way and mainly because of me, she has not been here for a while and agreed to stay away from here for a while as she knows I use ATS a lot more and it helps me a lot, I have some very good freinds.

As to making her feel jealous wtf? I imagine she already knows as we have a large group of mutal friends anyway and besides we have spit ammicably so not really sure why talking about stuff on a conspiracy site will affect things much.

Team this and that lol, I have ditched a load of so called freinds over that exact mentality, mainly over them choosing "team Nonspecfic" and treating her badly because they feel I have been dealt with badly by her and I have had to put a few people straight about it, We were two people who fell in and out of love, it happens to millions of people every single day and we will still be friends after it is all said and done mainly because we are able to leave the schoolground silly taking sides and bickering to idiots and teenagers.

Creepy? fair enough to think that what with you knowing me so well and all and if you fail to see the sense of humour then that is fine, the lady I am going out for coffee with next week seems ok with it and so do the other people I have been talking to.

Anyhow I do not have much time for this kind of thing so I shall leave you to your judgemental ramblings and bid you good day.

originally posted by: TNMockingbird

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: nonspecific
Dude you sound creepy. You sound VERY creepy.
Did you post this to make your ex feel bad? Isn't she a member here?
I'm on team Mrs.Nonspecific, you're a little weirdo.

I asked her what her favorite power ranger was and that I liked the red one best, she could not help but respond to that.

WTF.
Dude you sound like a creepy old man trying to make your ex believe you're doing well with the ladies. I don't believe for a second you're doing well with women.
Go take a break. Anyone pretending to believe you is being nice because you're sad. It's OK to be sad, don't make an ass of yourself.

I wasn't aware that we were choosing teams!

Since we are, I'm on team BOTH!!! I hope they both find what they are looking for and be very happy.

I can't tell if you were trying to be humorous in your post or just harsh and mean spirited.

The OP has stated that the current tone between he and his ex *is amicable and that she has moved on with another person and seems quite happy. It doesn't sound, to me, as if he is trying to 'rub' her a certain way. And if she has moved on, why would she care what he posts? I've not read him post anything 'mean' toward his ex.

I don't know if he's doing well with his online endeavors and it doesn't effect me either way except that I wish him well.

The OP has stated that he attempts to be humorous and just have fun, not be too serious. Perhaps we should all strive for that at times online.

Good luck to the OP and his ex missus! There will be haters along the way but be true to yourself and find happiness and peace. Ignore the rest!

There is only one team and that is team Nonspecific and Mrsnonspecific getting through a bit of a rough time and coming out the other side still freinds and with a lot of love and fantasic memories just not a couple any more, As I said to Domo anyone in the real world who has tried to stir up trouble or "pick sides" has been quite firmly put in there place by the both of us and told to keep their opinions to themselves.

Anyone that wishes to do the same here can save themselves to bother as it is something neither of us want.

As to my endevours I am hopefully going for a coffee next week with a crazy hippy lady to talk about trees and rivers and other such things.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Oh now I feel bad. I read into it wrong and was too hasty in my reply because I thought there was intentional nastiness.

Sorry OP, have fun with it!

a reply to: Domo1

You're awesome!



Have a lovely night!



(make peace not war)