Male Babysitters: Your Opinion?

a reply to: georgeglass

If you think this was attacking you, you might want to grow a thicker skin and learn how to add something to a discussion before you really delve into ATS.

i find it highly amusing that peoples " sutibility " for this " babysitting " is so often based soley on the presence or abcence of a "Y" chromasome

utter lunacy

i have met too many young ladies who i would not trust to ` look after ` a tungsten brick - nevermind a baby

a reply to: ignorant_ape

Exactly, so where do you think the stereotype stems from?

originally posted by: Atsbhct
a reply to: ignorant_ape

Exactly, so where do you think the stereotype stems from?

Most child abusers are male?

*Edit*
When my son was tiny I taught him that if he was ever lost then ask a woman with children for help along with police officers etc...lone males were his last option. Sad but true.

originally posted by: Atsbhct
a reply to: georgeglass

If you think this was attacking you, you might want to grow a thicker skin and learn how to add something to a discussion before you really delve into ATS.

Okay.

No big deal but I stand by my statements. I don't think it matters if the person is male or a different race, etc.

My opinion.

TC.

a reply to: grainofsand

But are they? Or is that just what we're led to believe? It's certainly what I would have thought.

According to one website, which I admittedly just googled:

Who is most likely to abuse or neglect children? Of child abuse cases in 2012, in over 80% of the cases the parent was the perpetrator. In 2012, more than four-fifths (82.2%) of perpetrators were between the ages of 18 and 44 years while two-fifths (39.6%%) of perpetrators were in the 25-34 age group. Of the 2012 child abuse cases, 45.3% of the perpetrators were male and 53.5% were female.

U
Link


Edit: that's exactly what my parents told me, and what I imagined I would tell my child.

a reply to: Atsbhct

Ah general abuse of course, I was thinking sexual, it is a clear male issue there.
Which is why I always taught my son 'lady with children' first.

a reply to: Atsbhct
Perhaps people are afraid of something like this;

a reply to: Atsbhct

Just like female babysitters it depends on the person and their level of maturity. I am great with kids and my wife isn't so it depends on a lot of things that have nothing to do with gender.

Single men on the outskirts of traditional society are among the most dangerous people you can meet. This from someone who is all of those things and is perfectly nice. If anything I get more creeped out by children than they do by me. I'll often ignore children who say hello to me because it makes me uncomfortable.

Just observe mammalian behaviors of any other species. Lone males are pretty much always the biggest danger to the larger group. That being the case it has carried over into instinctual mistrust of 'unproven' young men.

Another interesting observation I've had is when I go hiking with my sister. She will often exclaim to mothers with young children how cute they are and interact with them based on that.

If I attempted the same as a man you just know that most mothers would be on edge and perhaps a little afraid.

a reply to: DISRAELI

They just don't LOOK like babysitters!

Hahaha. Thanks for the laugh.

a reply to: Atsbhct

Would you leave your child with a complete stranger? Most people interview the caretaker, or they should interview the caretaker, whether it be for a child or an adult.

I have to leave but I conclude it is sexist to think a male caregiver is a higher risk than a female to molest a child.

a reply to: corvuscorrax

Do you think society has driven into you that thought that you shouldn't be alone around kids, interact with kids, etc? Or are you genuinely not a person who enjoys children?

I'm a fully grown woman, and I'm still slightly uncomfortable being alone with male strangers. Is it instinctual or is it because that's what I was taught from a very young age?

Just my two cents:

I am 28 years old male. I have 5 younger siblings ranging in age from 5 to 22. One year during college summer break I went home and my stepmom was working a "prestigious" children's care center. They worked with children ranging from infants all the way up to 13 years old. They needed an extra hand, I needed a summer gig so I said what the heck and started working there. No male had ever lasted longer than a month at this place. Most of them just couldn't deal with 25+ children for 8 hours a day I guess? I ended up spending 6 years working at this place on and off between semesters and even full time once I graduated for a few years. It was really great birth control hahaha. But I got to say I really enjoyed it, and I was really good at it. Most of these kids had never been around any guys other than their immediate family members. Some parents were hesitant and some were down right rude to me. Things like I don't want that man driving my daughter to school. ( I often did bus runs for the older kids, bringing them to school in the morning and picking them up after school and bring them to our center until the parents could pick them up)
After a few weeks though the parents were often singing a different tune. I had countless parents come to me and hug me and tell me how much of an impact I had made on their children's lives. I had kids constantly accidentally calling me "dad"! Something about a guy floating in a woman's world really made me stand out almost like a giant play thing! Still to this day if I go home and visit my old stomping grounds I have little grown up kids run up to me at the grocery store or restaurants just run up out of no where and hug the crap out of me. Literally hundreds and hundreds of children were no acted by their first male techer, me. It was the most rewarding job I have ever had. I ended up working with almost every age group. (State law prevented me from ever working in a room where children wore diapers so I never worked in the two youngest rooms, which I was fine with, but still somewhat sexist in my opinion) society tells us men are burley hunters that really shouldn't be around children so much. I whole heartedly disagree with this and think without positive male interaction at a younger age can be downright detrimental to a childes development. I can understand why some would be untrusting of a young guy helping to raise their children and I know many many guys that would not fit the bill. But there are many out there that do and should be given equal chances to participate. We aren't all dumb, violent Neanderthals and this should be taken into account. Again just my two cents!

a reply to: georgeglass

I'm not concluding anything about male caregivers. I haven't decided who I would trust to leave my child alone with. Lots of essential strangers left their children alone with me, again, it's a very small town so everyone "knows" everyone else.

originally posted by: georgeglass
I have to leave but I conclude it is sexist to think a male caregiver is a higher risk than a female to molest a child.

Have you not checked the stat's on sexual molestation (male/female offender) in pretty much every country in the world?
Oh dear.

a reply to: Atsbhct

I don't really care for children no. Being driven by society from children? No I drove myself thanks.

I've watched my nieces for my brother and can handle the logistics of childcare well enough it's the emotional, caring part that gives me trouble but that's probably a side effect of being on the spectrum.

I can't speak to being uncomfortable around males because I am one and I definitely am uncomfortable around females moreso than males but I would imagine that's the autism mostly.

My guess is that it is instinctual though. Just like seeing a spider skitter across the floor or a snake slither through the grass sets of a fear response, so too would being around a strange male for a woman I'd guess. It may not always be logical but strange people (men in particular) can be extremely dangerous and subconsciously people know that.

a reply to: Cogidubnus

Thanks for sharing that!

Think about it, how many parents would exclaim that they wouldn't want a male bus driver for their children? ...very few I'm guessing? Yet, why is it an issue for you, essentially a babysitter we can say, to drive children to school?

I hope I, personally, can make more informed decisions than my own parents when it comes down to this, and if I have a daughter, I hope I can bring up the issue more delicately than my own parents did. I really feel that some of my misgivings towards male babysitters are just me echoing what they felt.

a reply to: corvuscorrax

Thanks for your input. I liked hearing from a male with a different "spectrum" of knowledge on the matter.

I've never had anyone other than family watch my kids, and even then I sometimes worry the whole time. (Worried about inattentiveness, not abuse).

My oldest child is almost 10, and I would honestly trust her more than most of the family options. But that's not allowed till she is 12.

I know boys that babysit, but I probably wouldn't use their services. Again- worrier. I don't really know how I would have handled childcare had I not been so close to family.