BREAKING: Army scientists successfully 'teleport' Soldiers

.mil website link

Army scientists have successfully "teleported" a fully equipped squad from a Massachusetts research and development facility to a training area in Germany, the Natick Soldier Systems Center (NSSC) announced today.

I know they've been working on this for a while. Maybe we won't have to spend so much $$$ keeping our troops posted in foreign lands. zzzzzzt and they're right behind you.

Officials at Natick were elated by the event, which promises to one day revolutionize the way that American troops and equipment are transported around the globe. It also could ultimately make overseas bases obsolete as forces are instead moved from U.S. soil to remote trouble spots in the blink of an eye.

According to Storm, a device not unlike the "flux capacitor" seen in the "Back to the Future" movie series was employed during the experiment. This led to immediate speculation that the Army was also working on time travel, but time travel requirements of generating 1.21 gigawatts is no trivial feat.

"We're only concerned with place, not time," said Storm, a twinkle in his eye. "This development could change the entire course of human history."

The Task Force expects to report its initial findings by April 1, 2017.

This was a story that couldn't wait for tomorrow.

-Cheers
Snarl

Awesome news! Hopefully they don't lose the Admiral's dog.

a reply to: Snarl

Ewwwww, the government can't do anything right including joke.

a reply to: CriticalStinker

Yeah, I was thinking this was a joke. Of course it's April's fools day and... Why are my bushes suddenly moving? OMG!

hah!
That was actually a pretty good one.

Happy April 1!

The aviation industry would go broke, which means, they will not stand for it. (Transporting folks instead of flying them.) The wouldn't even know how much to charge for it.So for another 10-20 years as long the airplane manufacturers can hold it back, this will not bloom.

I can see this in top secret FBI / Interpol missions, but beyond that we will have to wait decades before this technology is available to us.

Nice And for all the folks thinking this is a joke...joke's on you. In 15-20 years don't make me say "I told you so."

Now , it's actually only a matter of years. Pst, the technology already exists.

In other news, aliens landed on the White House lawn today.

Wrong forum!

the april fools is strong in this one

a reply to: Snarl

So, even when making a joke, the US government thinks it should be about military might, right?

I mean I love it for what it is but...really?

I will probably get hammered for this but does nobody else see what I am trying to say?

I know, grumpy grandpa time but damn! Make a friggin' joke about how we found a way to get rid of war altogether, a killwar machine or something.

Imagine the civilian applications!! Standing in line at the BMV? No problem, point your teleporter at the 30 people ahead of you and voila, problem solved!

Good find :-)

a reply to: Jonjonj
Every department does something for April 1st.

The military does military ones, the legal branches do legal ones, etc, etc.

Edit to add:

Be glad you don't have a boss like me. My April 1st joke pertained to payday, which happened to be today.

I had everybody's pay cheques printed in pink.....

Hopefully, they aren't too mad on Monday.

a reply to: Snarl

Oh if only, great story for today.

Mind you if we are fat in the west already how much fatter would we be teleporting our food.


Joke's aside I have been bending my mind trying to figure out if there is a way to entangle matter, perhaps by placing it in a field of some kind and instead of then entangling the matter instead entangling the field it is already in, some kind of energy that makes the matter appear as a unity or even as a potential charge, so far though real teleportation of potential charges in twisted photons in on the below microscopic scale and we need to learn how to scale it up to the macroscopic scale before we can even try to learn how to move an object, that said if you know anything about spiritualists you will be familiar with Apports, not OOPARTS - Apports or Aports was the name given to spiritual teleportation of matter in the 1800's, non was ever proven to be real but in one case the playful spirits seem to have gotten there own back on the charlatan medium's.
guides.wikinut.com...

originally posted by: eNumbra
In other news, aliens landed on the White House lawn today.

On my lawn, too. I am currently serving Szxionovkd (it's difficult to spell his name), their Captain, citrus vodka and soda. he seems to like it. A female (I think it is a female- they are 8 ft tall- thank god I have high ceilings) is on my phone looking at Facebook and asking about pinterest- the have a translation machine. The 2 male pilots found the X Box and the pot.

a reply to: peck420

Yeah I guess, my point was simply that they could have chosen something less...I don't know...more hopeful. All day every day we get war and stuff, damn mindset is killing us. I get it, I really do, it just struck a nerve is all.

And they just happened to do it on April 1st too.

a reply to: Jonjonj

Actually, I did have a similar thought... put the teleporter in the hands of the peaceable populous, who will be charged with zapping the bullies, warmongers and violent criminals off to the martian landscape or some such.

originally posted by: Jonjonj
a reply to: peck420

Yeah I guess, my point was simply that they could have chosen something less...I don't know...more hopeful. All day every day we get war and stuff, damn mindset is killing us. I get it, I really do, it just struck a nerve is all.

I think they meant to strike, more of a funny bone, and aimed it at people like us. A good attempt I think

a reply to: Jonjonj

It's on an Army website, what do you expect?

a reply to: Jonjonj

Look on the brightside: the writer gets paid.

That's like 99.999 percent more productive than the junk they normally piss our money away on. :p