Jesus Christ CEO Chief Financial Planner for Heaven INC (on earth) Razamataz

Everyone these days, most of us anyway, has seen Jesus wheeled out before the world as some sort of finical planner jinni super investment dude. Yes indeed along with a new, and if not new certainly very popular, middle man for Jesus investment.....guy.....pivot man.....hay fill my bags up with the green stuff and Jesus will certainly pay you back later with interest.

Nothing new here really save for the fact that the proverbial stuff is really getting deep these days. Real deep. Not only are there shysters growing on trees but the shyster doctrine these days is a thing to behold. We are well past the days and doctrine of sending a faith healer money for favor with God toward a dying loved one. Oh yes the Jesus of today is your portfolio clown activated by giving doctrine so deep that one needs a theology degree from hip boot seminary to wade through the mess.

Yes nowadays its a new law extrapolated from deep within scripture........hidden for years, the last day truth for man kind.......to give some dumbazz on tv money and you will receive at least ten fold in return. The road to prosperity in the kingdom means giving money to a Jesus financial planer, middle man for invisible stock holding out there in outer space. But its ok because middle man has a license called an "anointing" otherwise know as razzmatazz.

Never mind that your top prophets not only didn't ask for money but turned it down when offered......Jesus Himself gave a rich guy some financial advice and dude didn't like it very well. Went away sorrowful. Jesus told the rich man to give all his wealth to the poor and come follow. And folks thats about the stupidest thing you could tell a wealthy person to do. Its very clear Jesus was new school when it came to financial planning. And notice He didn't ask for any of the mans holding for Himself.

Jesus also told His disciples not to take bags for money with them....don't collect and eat what is set before you on your mission. And they really were not out giving financial advice.

Jesus carrying your portfolio and mine.

I just finished pounding down some wings and beer and your post actually made sense. So i'm really drunk or feeling enlightened. I'm going with really drunk seeing as it took me 29 minutes to proof read this.

It's true.
Jesus definitely was feeling the bern.

Yes Jesus was a Socialist. How does a Republican deal with that? What a strange dichotomy. I'd like to hear their justifications.

Morphed into CFO - jesus...or the cartoon cut-out, wall-hung, effigies and iconographical-imposterish fabrications...circus bigtops of glass and stone (they cost money), regular performances and side-shows for a fee...whispering carnies with their own language and sleight of hand rituals (How? What? The body and blood of christ - never you mind...)

The son - self-described emissary for...

The father - CEO of Project 3rd Planet from the Sun

Let US make man in OUR image. 2 or more Gods? It's not a mistake. Where was the son when all this was happening?...obviously sitting at the right hand of the father at the 'celestial' boardroom table, discussing how lower management had gone off-message (Let US make man in OUR image - not Let ME make man in MY image)...

Looks like lower-mid-management types usurped the mission statement...the be-cassocked initiates just carry on with an altered mission statement...and they need the filthy lucre...

...donate or attend the performance with gormless wide-eyed wonder (and don't ask difficult questions!)...


Å99

Jesus held up a coin and said who's image, the Pharisee said ceaser, Jesus said give what is ceasesers to ceaser and you are created in Gods image so surrender yourself to sharing the gospel. Effectively living like Jesus

Now days many in the prosperity church can't tell the difference between God and buddha, rub His tummy and you will get lots of money, a god, the one armed slot machine.
The only winner is the house, who's house?

It's the lie everyone wants to believe
A bit like the lotteries, just a divine chance, if you believe that sort of thing

originally posted by: akushla99
Morphed into CFO - jesus...or the cartoon cut-out, wall-hung, effigies and iconographical-imposterish fabrications...circus bigtops of glass and stone (they cost money), regular performances and side-shows for a fee...whispering carnies with their own language and sleight of hand rituals (How? What? The body and blood of christ - never you mind...)
Å99

He is just the "Mickey Mouse" ICON for the very smart Walt Disney 'creator being' living in the sky and charging for tickets to perhaps witness heaven/standing in long lines to experience the amusement rides that may engender enlightenment (was the ticket to ride worth it).

Jesus believed in the PUBLIC Mode and Means of Production????

That's odd.

originally posted by: Kukri
Yes Jesus was a Socialist. How does a Republican deal with that? What a strange dichotomy. I'd like to hear their justifications.

Jesus did not turn turnips or fish into gold. The money has to trickle down from somewhere (did not fall out of the skies). There has to be wealth in order for it to be shared; his message was one of personal service: voluntary philanthropy not one of Socialistic/Communistic Law inacted by modern governments NOW.

originally posted by: vethumanbeing

originally posted by: Kukri
Yes Jesus was a Socialist. How does a Republican deal with that? What a strange dichotomy. I'd like to hear their justifications.

Jesus did not turn turnips or fish into gold. The money has to trickle down from somewhere (did not fall out of the skies). There has to be wealth in order for it to be shared; his message was one of personal service: voluntary philanthropy not one of Socialistic/Communistic Law inacted by modern governments NOW.

What he didn't want in this case was the self righteous rich guy who apparently had some contempt for the poor as well as a lot of satisfaction in himself, his wealth being part of that and tied directly to it. Guy probably thought he was way better off than the poor simply because he was good......so God must have blessed him for being "good". Not to mention he must have thought Jesus would just snatch him right up......guy with a big ol bank account like that would be good for the ministry. Jesus wanted him to divest himself of his pride and come with nothing.....not because Jesus was a socialist.

originally posted by: Kukri
Yes Jesus was a Socialist. How does a Republican deal with that? What a strange dichotomy. I'd like to hear their justifications.

Jesus was always going after the spiritual core be it a rich, poor or whatever. In the case of poor He went after discontent. In wealthy he went after the pride and self security. He did say that the wealthy were in much greater danger spiritual than the poor, but didn't ask any money for Himself from the rich guy and didn't ask him to give it to the government at that.

originally posted by: Logarock

originally posted by: vethumanbeing

originally posted by: Kukri
Yes Jesus was a Socialist. How does a Republican deal with that? What a strange dichotomy. I'd like to hear their justifications.

Jesus did not turn turnips or fish into gold. The money has to trickle down from somewhere (did not fall out of the skies). There has to be wealth in order for it to be shared; his message was one of personal service: voluntary philanthropy not one of Socialistic/Communistic Law inacted by modern governments NOW.

What he didn't want in this case was the self righteous rich guy who apparently had some contempt for the poor as well as a lot of satisfaction in himself, his wealth being part of that and tied directly to it. Guy probably thought he was way better off than the poor simply because he was good......so God must have blessed him for being "good". Not to mention he must have thought Jesus would just snatch him right up......guy with a big ol bank account like that would be good for the ministry. Jesus wanted him to divest himself of his pride and come with nothing.....not because Jesus was a socialist.

Jesus was pointing out the inequities of wealth (if you have it can invest and grow your wealth with like individuals); his cause was divest and help the poor as a philanthropist. The message was "YOU CANT TAKE IT WITH YOU" (afterlife). You stand before your creator naked/your only defense to achieving heavenly entrance is based upon your morals or personal service to others in need. Is this at all reasonable?

a reply to: Kukri

Simple the political concepts nowadays are FAR more convoluted and complex,only an IDIOT ascribes to black or white thinking.
Especially when attempting to use HISTORY incorrectly to do it.

a reply to: vethumanbeing

We should remember here that this was the only wealthy guy Jesus talked to like that. And we can see the profile.....a man that put a lot of stock in the idea that his wealth was connected to his righteousness and that poor folks were probably like that because of some sin their parents or they committed. The thought of giving his wealth away to such people was probably more than he could stand.

We eventually seem to come back around to the question thats being asked other places...... how can a capitalist, business person, or even a working person claim to be a christian and yet not at least lean toward a more socialist attitude? And yes the bible isn't really a play book for hard line sort of capitalism as we know it today......bible preaches against interest but about restoring lost inheritances with provisions made for same, fair wages, against feudalisms evils ect. It also talks about working 6 days a week.

Be all that as it may the reason for this thread has to do with the magic mountain boys. Jesus will make you wealthy seed faith sorts......and there are all sorts.

originally posted by: Logarock
a reply to: vethumanbeing

Logarock: We should remember here that this was the only wealthy guy Jesus talked to like that. And we can see the profile.....a man that put a lot of stock in the idea that his wealth was connected to his righteousness and that poor folks were probably like that because of some sin their parents or they committed. The thought of giving his wealth away to such people was probably more than he could stand.

One that earned the wealth or has privilege. I am certain in those days; there was a class system in place for reasons of cleanliness/moral objectives/learnedness; for Jesus to break those barriers of class divisions, even with a few is outstanding.

Logarock: We eventually seem to come back around to the question thats being asked other places...... how can a capitalist, business person, or even a working person claim to be a christian and yet not at least lean toward a more socialist attitude? And yes the bible isn't really a play book for hard line sort of capitalism as we know it today......bible preaches against interest but about restoring lost inheritances with provisions made for same, fair wages, against feudalisms evils ect. It also talks about working 6 days a week.

I think one is entitled to grasp claw oneself into a better circumstance. This is a right Absolute given to all incarnated here; the problem is there are fewer opportunities to achieve wealth; as all are exponentially exploding (been there done that) unless a boutique cottage industry. I have no idea where industry will take us as all has migrated to foreign nations or tech (this will destroy us).

Logarock: Be all that as it may the reason for this thread has to do with the magic mountain boys. Jesus will make you wealthy seed faith sorts......and there are all sorts.

I like magic.

a reply to: vethumanbeing


I like your responses don't really disagree. We do need however to understand what Jesus is really addressing with this guy. Doing so may really not hurt bootstrap hard work and wealth so much as what it may do to a man in connection with some other ideas.

Had it griped him to the point where he couldn't part with it? Or was it the giving to the poor and undeserving......which is what we all are of Jesus gifts.....that cant be earned by the way......that bothered the guy.

He may have seen himself as a living and breathing exemplar of the blessings of God upon a man that lives right and honestly. But what was that to Jesus that came form the Heavenly realms, setting all aside, a Son to die on a bloody post off wood.

In light of that now take a look at prosperity money Jesus magic BS. Real BS like it should be listed as no 1 or 2 definition of BS in an unabridged dictionary.

a reply to: Logarock

We need a Jesus that is not 2000 years old living within written scripture is all. I speak of "Christ Consciousness" occasionally; (drum beat) its an idea form is all. I am surprised it has lasted as long as it has in the many forms it took after surviving the reformation. Why is it, no singular creature representing the 'almighty' has arrived since Mohammed 700 years ago to help the human regarding its relationship with a Creator figure. Why all the proxies for that matter; Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Confucious, Shintos nature god?

a reply to: vethumanbeing

if someone claims to be the son of god these days, we lock them.

'a burning bush talked to me.'
'oh really, this is a padded cell.'

now we have the internet, and not enough space in mental homes.

originally posted by: stinkelbaum
a reply to: vethumanbeing

if someone claims to be the son of god these days, we lock them.
'a burning bush talked to me.''oh really, this is a padded cell.'now we have the internet, and not enough space in mental homes.

This is true. All of those prophets of old would have been medicated or locked up (as wards of the state) instead of murdered as heretics (enemies of the state).