Need brainstorming help to create happy memories

a reply to: calstorm

Couple Ideas:
1. Volunteer in some fashion. I spend my time helping a bunch of elderly people at a week-long book sale...for free. It doesn't matter how horrible a day I had at work, but I have many fond memories (It's a special feeling when you find that one book someone was looking for).

2. Goto a park and read, doodle, or people watch. Watching is free, as is enjoying being in the park itself (I'd be hiking, but for you that isn't the best thing). For $10 you could pick up some pencils and just sketch the world around you. My personal favorite is to go to a park that has a beach, and meditate next to the water.

3. If you have a musical instrument of some kind, play it in private, or in public. If you want, I can send you a free trumpet or possibly a free violin (be warned, playing in public takes guts, but also can lead to fun times).

4. See if your area has any free classes or events. For example, several cities around me do a concert in the park series, where they have small bands play that are free to watch.

5. Find some beautiful music online, and imagine a story tied to the music. I use it as therapy sometimes.

-foss

PS: I know it breaks your requirement of no friends, but maybe there's an ATS'er that lives close that you could do something with? I think it would be funny to do something with another person from here - speak in secret code in public and watch everyones' reactions.

originally posted by: calstorm
Life for me has always been a struggle. I have more negative memories than I do good. I have experienced a lot of death and loss and spent most of my life trying to survive instead of living.

I missed out on most of the important events in my younger years. I never got to graduate high school, no prom, no parents and placed in a bad situation and coping with death. I never got the college experience really, went to a tiny community college with zero social activities. Death and struggles with a particular subject meant I didn't quite finish.

I have experienced quite a few traumatic events and I often find it difficult to believe that I have been through everything I have. Yes, I am a survivor, but what I don't have is enough positive memories to look back on. I have so many bad memories I really need to focus on creating positive ones, but living a life of mostly survival, I am not sure I ever learned how.

So I need your guys help. I am on a mission to create positive memories to keep me going and to give me a reason to keep moving forward. I am open to any suggestion as long as it falls under 4. categories.

1. Doesn't require friends or family, one other person only. I don't know anyone here and all my family is dead.
2. Doesn't involve children. With the loss of my children, I am constantly fighting my motherly instinct and drive. Strangers don't appreciate it when you go up and wipe their child's nose.
3. Tales little to no money. Like $25 or less. I am poor.
4. Doesn't involve above normal physical activity. Long hikes or snow skiing would be out due to an autoimmune disorder.

So please help me out, I am tired of looking back on my life and only seeing painful memories.

Redecorate a room. Bathroom for example. Paint it then go to a few thrift stores and find old pretty things that match.

Spa night. Bubble bath with candles. Or hot steam shower if no tub. Put yourself in your coziest pj's or buy new ones. Put on some silly slippers or buy a cheap pair. Or at the least some silly socks. Like toe socks. Then put a deep treatment conditioner pack in your hair and do a facial mask. Make a cup of your favorite tea or buy a bottle of your favorite wine, sit back and relax and come on ATS and post! Make a point to comment on positive lively threads. Have a good time. Everytime you see your new silly slippers or socks you will smile softly in your heart.

Take a pic-nic lunch to a park and wear a goofy hat or a sweatshirt that says something funny on it, or both, and check out the grins you get. Even one will make your day.

Take a drive into town, roll down the windows of your car and blare your favorite cd and check out the gawkers and grinners.

Drive through an intersection you know has a camera and flip the bird out your window.

Drive down the freeway and see if you can get a trucker to honk at you pumping your arm in the air.

Go through the drive-through of a fast food joint, just get a drink if you don't eat fast food, and give the person who serves you at the window a bouquet of flowers. Cherish the moment.

Go window shopping at a mall and try on high end stylish clothes and make a connection with the person working near the fitting rooms. "How does this look" "what do you think" tell no one you're not buying though, just say you'll have to decide and come back later.

Get a free make-over at a deparent stores cosmetic counter. Buy some good make-up or parfume. Get as many samples to take home as you can.

Get your hair cut and styled.

Bake something and give it to any face you are familiar with behind the counter at any store you usually go to. Say, 7'11. You always are friendly with so and so, drop off the baked goods. They will feel special and amazed.

Go on a dating website and try out friendship or romance.

Go to the dollar tree and buy 10 ballons, attach short notes to the string such as, "you are loved" "this is your lucky day" and let some float off and hand out the rest.

Everyday you should make a point of creating one good memory. Write it down briefly in a pretty journal or keep an online blog for all to see and comment on.

A bottle of wine and a funny show on tv helps most of the time.

A magnum of yellow tail (cheap plus effective) and a few episodes of portlandia.

a reply to: mikeone718

around 4:20pm I watch Frasier

not kidding.

1. I want to send a msg in a bottle with my contact details I wonder if anyone ever finds it

2. made this and gave it to friends mum .. The she put all the pretty icing on it



3. This was fun have a picture of what it looks like it's pretty cool I did it with white Lilly



4. My neighbor lady puts out seeds for birds .. It gets pretty frinkin funny she is like a crazy bird lady and she has regulars coming to eat them

5. Once I picked heaps and heaps of white frangipanis and threw them of the bridge gosh it was so pretty to watch it flow on the river (on Halloween it was toilet paper over freeway it was so pretty to watch the strings of paper just floating in the air)

Lots of good ideas in here already. Definitely pamper yourself, find a craft project, there are so many to choose from. YouTube has tons of videos on inexpensive craft projects. Tons of ideas. Get lost in the pages of a good book, watch some awesome movies.

As for facebook, they have many different groups that you can join with people who share the same interests as you. You could even start one yourself. From there, you will gain some fun and interesting online friends you can interact with every day. You won't feel so alone.

What kind of pets do you have? Once when I was feeling really down, I set up a small fish tank, from there I enjoyed it so much, I set up two others and also a big bowl with a fancy betta fish. They are so pretty and relaxing to watch and easy to care for. You can put real or fake plants in the tank, maybe a little castle and some seashells. They never fail to bring a smile to my face.

Do you like to write? Write a story or poetry or even keep a journal of your thoughts and ideas. They sell some really pretty books with blank pages.

Go second hand shopping, it's like a treasure hunt and you never know what you might find. I have some antiques and real crystal and beautiful china and plenty of books and clothes etc. and hardly spent anything on them. It will also get you out of the house and you'll be around people. I've had many conversations with complete strangers and make them laugh or they make me laugh.

You have been through a lot and I know how that can haunt you and affect your daily life. You have your ATS family that are here for you and giving you some great ideas. I hope some of the things can help and make a difference in your life. If you ever feel like talking just shoot me a private message. HUGS!

a reply to: calstorm
Night Star mentioned having an aquarium. I remembered that Ghost147 wrote a very interesting thread about aquascaping. There are a lot of cool ideas in it that you could try. You could also make money selling them.
Here's the thread, if you're interested:
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Stimulate your senses in ways that you enjoy most.

Learn how to belly laugh again....the rest is secondary....

Music-listen or learn to play or join a singing group.Dance around your kitchen or do some air drumming when no one is looking !

Food-Baking class or learn from you tube (free excellent school)

Physical health - Yoga or a low impact stretching activity like Thai Chi in the park ( you will meet friends ) join a walking club.

Reading - escape to wonderful worlds, join a book club and stimulate your mind and your social skills.

I suspect Anxiety has been you closest friend over the years....Am I right? Find a new friend by letting anxiety go....

Things to let go of to help open your life to NEW experiences.....

-Guilt

-Grief, we all die, we all lose loved ones, we all have a right to keep on living.

-Pessimistic thoughts

-Self-criticism

-The need for others’ approval, It’s none of my business what other people think of me.

-Grudges

-Procrastination

-Anxious thoughts.

- A broken heart….worst feeling ever. Let it go.

- Sad memories , Your memories have become your skin or your identity. I can become a green haired lesbian tomorrow if I wanted, I am not a product of my past, but a vessel for future opportunity.

- Time: What is time and why do we fight and try to control it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Working on a thread about anxiety, so I added some of it here for you Cal.
I wish you well, and I wish you to let go.

a reply to: calstorm

I don't really have any suggestions but....

I'm performing a urban shamanic ritual so expect some snazzy mojo vibes very soon.

Make memories on your own. TRAVEL. Get out of the city you are in and do fun stuff. Never be afraid to talk to people. Maybe write about your experiences and get some counseling. There are a lot of good people in the world . Meet them. Join the peace corps. Or a church group helping people overseas. Find purpose in your life. Think it and make it happen.

Just checking in beautiful lady

Definitely pamper yourself
-Night Star

You can annoy your pets


Or feed them goofy things


I forgot you probably have winter

I think reading is something you can do on the cheap and is pretty incredible. You can find important literature online that's free. Library cards are cheap. Or you can just read some trash and join my club.

Meditation. It's something I'd like to try, know nothing about, but it's free. Online, just Google it.

Yoga. It doesn't matter what your body is like, you can get positive results from it without pain, and it feels good. Again, free, just Google it.

There are a ton of free online courses from very reputable universities out there. You can actually get college credits from some.

Charity work is soul nourishing. I bet there are a ton of opportunities near you! Good way to meet kind people and feel good about yourself and help others.

Volunteer at a shelter. Human or pet. Either way, you'll make some friends with other volunteers, and feel good about yourself for helping others.

I don't know your circumstances, but gardening is awesome. You can do it even if you're living in an apartment. You can grow some vegetables and herbs anywhere!

Learn how to cook new dishes. You have to feed yourself, and you can make some amazing food that's healthy on the cheap! I've gone from microwave dinners to cooking (long story), and realized broccoli actually tastes good! I've also dropped a few pounds without trying in a few weeks (more than a few pounds).

Get outside. I live near Seattle, and we get a lot of gloomy days. It's important to get outside. it's also proven to be important. Go for a walk. Just make yourself do it. Even if you start once a week for 20 minutes. Make a commitment. First week once a week, second week twice a week, keep going until a 20 minute walk outside no matter the weather is the daily norm. Then step it up again. Being outside makes you happy, you need it, look it up.

The most important thing. Just go for it. If there is something you would love to do, just start. We're all embarrassed when we take the plunge into something new.

So start, no excuses, jump in!

Wow, I feel like I have met my twin...all the way to autoimmune disorder. If you figure this out, I'd love to hear it. I can't say I've given up on creating positive memories, but putting energy/effort felt so non-spontaneous...I dunno.
Best of luck.