I reeeally want to say something but I don't want to be THAT crazy neighbor.

a reply to: yeahright

I have to agree. There are plenty of ways to talk to somebody without coming across as crass.

I think it's like having somebody tell me I'm a horrible parent for vaccinating my daughter versus the friend who casually says "have you ever read any of those claims about vaccines and autism? Pretty crazy stuff...". Like he's just putting a feeler out there. That ends up sparking a conversation and we go on talking about it for an hour.

I'd say find a way to broach the subject like that. Soft and gentle, just like a dryer sheet

a reply to: olaru12

I agree! OP you really should say something out of concern for Your neighbors Baby! Like someone said earlier, I'd hate to see you with a thread on how sad and down on yourself You will be if something is not said, and that baby dies!!! It's a no-brainer, to ME anyway... Risk the awkwardness. It will be temporary... People do move on from such things... Just my 2 cents here for You... Syx...

a reply to: kosmicjack

Better to have spoken up and clear your conscious than for tragedy to strike and to hate yourself for your silence.

The use of fabric softener isn't an embarrassing topic. Catch them in passing and raise the concern using your family as an example. Build up to it in idle conversation. Start out with their nursery, crib, build up to the cute sheets and the onesie. Then mention how you read an article about the care of baby clothes.

It's as simple as an inane conversation. Just remember not to force the issue and be willing to accept whatever response they have.

originally posted by: kosmicjack

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
a reply to: kosmicjack

But statistically, the baby will grow up fine and die from heart disease or cancer in about 70 years.

Not sure if

or

LoL! A classic reply from you my friend. My husband will love it and claim victory. .

I'd go with

LOL...i am compelled by rationalism and habitually revert to statistics as a guiding force.

Something that occurs to me: trifold pamphlets can be printed at home, and can help disperse a message to people that you want to impersonally deliver a message to.

Maybe a trifold pamphlet in the mailbox would give them access to the information without you risking stepping on their toes. If one doesn't already exist on the internet, im happy to help you craft one.

You have been given some good strategies for giving your neighbors the information. They are all very well thought and reasonable.

Still ...

In all likelihood, they WILL see you as that crazy neighbor. And they won't follow the advice. And the child will grow up fine.

But you will have told them.

New parents do thousands of things "wrong". Many potentially dangerous. And they get advice from all and sundry. Most of which they don't follow.

Yours will likely be noted because it will seem kookier. Most of the advice will be about diaper rash, teething and colic. And you'll be talking about fabric softener and SIDs.

So tell them if you must. But realize you're mostly doing it for yourself. Because they are unlikely to follow your advice.

originally posted by: kosmicjack
"This isn't the internet. We have to live here, next door to them. You can't just nose in like it's your anonymous opinion and present some 'factoid' about how they're doing it wrong."

Which of course, you wouldn't do.

No trifold pamphlets, no stealth info delivery, no lecture. A neighborly conversation.

Will it plague you if you don't?

Good husbands know the drill, and I'm sure yours is. Do what you think you need to do, both for the neighbors and for your own peace of mind.

originally posted by: yeahright


No trifold pamphlets, no stealth info delivery, no lecture. A neighborly conversation.

You mean we shouldn't spam our neighbors?

as a skeptic and mind your own business kind of person id say leave it alone. However.....since youre not close to them you really dont have anything to lose and if your conscience is bugging you maybe you should figure out a clever way of dropping the hint. Perhaps a advert looking flyer such as you might get in the mail and just sneak it in their post at night?

I repeat, in this pathetic, wide-open, no privacy society - mind your own f***ing business.

originally posted by: Restricted
I repeat, in this pathetic, wide-open, no privacy society - mind your own f***ing business.

I am just proposing this as a thought experiment, i am not being literal.

put your self in the OPs shoes, you believe 100% that this child is at risk of SIDS due to the unintentional actions of the child's parents.

Now i can understand you saying "mind your own business", i totally get that mentality, I probably would not say anything either.

But lets pretend we are talking about something else, its not to much detergent, the child's parents are feeding the kid on nothing but MacDonald's and they spend all day chain smoking in front of the kid. You know full well the huge health risks the young child is at, would you still not say anything, would not at the very least feel compelled to act?

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

Like methods of discipline, it's none of my GD business.

You've had all kinds of advice. I'd offer one caveat.

How sensitive is your nose? Do they really reek all that bad of it, or are you just hypersensitive to the smell since you don't use it yourself and therefore really notice?

I just ask because I'm more or less nose dead when it comes to a lot of things.

originally posted by: Restricted
a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

Like methods of discipline, it's none of my GD business.

So at what point would you intervene, at what point would you feel compelled to act or would you argue that regardless of the circumstances it is never any of your business?

originally posted by: Restricted
a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

It's.None. Of. My. Business. Period.

Are these firearms or knives? No. Then piss off.

No need for that I am just trying to engage you in some insightful conversation.

You posted on this thread, that opens your opinions up to be critiqued that's all this is, no need to tell me to "piss off".

So I was asking at what point you would intervene, does it take the parent pointing a loaded gun at their child before you would act?

But even at that extreme would you still do nothing as that could just be that particular parents method of discipline, threats with a gun.

I think the problem seems to be that your views are too black and white.

No biggie,

Next time you see her outside just go up and ask her how's she doing? How's the baby? Here's the clincher, ask her what she didn't receive at her baby shower that she needs now? If you weren't invited it'll put her in the mind frame of "oh no, I should've invited her". Offer to get a couple of things. After a bit of conversation mention that you've just read about fabric softeners and that you're getting them out of your house, has she considered doing the same?

I do stuff like that all the time, sort've bury the info in a larger conversation as an offhand thing. For me it's usually liberal use of Weed & Feed and Round-up Weed Killer . . . . .

See, I just did it right there

STM

a reply to: kosmicjack

Here's an approach you might consider...

Give a small gift of a new box of unscented laundry detergent and a note that says something along the lines of "Congratulations on your new baby. We just wanted to offer this small gift. We used it on our children's clothes and really appreciate how it did not have any of those harmful additives or scents. Best wishes for a happy, healthy family."

You can probably word that better, but you get the idea.

No one likes a busybody, but it seems you gotta do something to relieve your own mind.
Hey, everyone likes a thoughtful gift so, if you can, put together a small gift basket with safe baby products like some baby detergent and softener that don't have the harmful perfumes and chemicals. Throw in some ecologically sound diapers and Walla you do a nice thing and maybe they will open their mind to some safer products. You just may also have a way to bring up the topic of why the baby's clothing should be washed in chemical and perfume free products.
Good luck in however you go about this, but do say or do something. Your not being mean and if they take it wrong, well your did your neighborly duty and that's all we can or should do.

originally posted by: DAVID64
a reply to: Restricted

We're talking about possibly preventing the death of a child. It god damn well is his business, if he can prevent it.

what a load
its not his business at all

a good idea is to stop worrying about other people and their family

i know i would not be very receptive to my neighbor knocking on my door or leaving a note talking about the oh so terrible risks of fabric softener.