Feeling Guilty? (Homelessness)

Why should I be guilty? Why should I feel Guilty?

If I'm to walk past someone who is Homeless, why should I feel guilty and why should they put that Guilt onto me?

They do it without realising but they still do it.

I should not have to feel guilty about going to the shop or supermarket to get some food... their predicament isn't my fault. I have this East European woman (possibly Romanian) who sits outside the supermarket (small supermarket), always in the same place, every day... and it's bugging me more and more...

Why did she come here? To beg on the street? She could do that back home. If I give some to her once, she'll expect it every day.

So.. how about yourselves? Do any of you feel the same way? Do you get that 'Guilt' complex?

Also, I feel that I have to shop elsewhere in order to avoid her and its not only her but I often get asked for Money when I'm out and about and I only wanted to go out to enjoy myself and get out of the house!

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

Empathy dude I put myself in their shoes and I feel bad for them.
I don't think it is guilt though and I don't know how homeless people put guilt on you.
Give or don't only you have to look yourself in the mirror everyday.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

No.

I don't feel guilt.

I have homeless come up and ask for money all the time because I live in a horrible neighborhood and I just tell them I work too hard to give my money away.

I bought a homeless man a beer. That's because he was honest and asked for a beer instead of money. It was also the weekend and I was in a good mood.

But no, I don't feel guilt.

I feel anger in regard to governments making the existence of the homeless illegal(where are all the tent cities?). But I don't feel guilt for working my 10-13 hour days and spending my money on myself.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

Personally, I admire professional bums. They demonstrate a certain defiance that I find appealing.

They don't care how you feel and they don't expect you to either, it's a job.

I remember we had a great pro bum here in Boston for years who was caught bumming himself up to come out for a day's work where he lived in a penthouse suite at the Park Plaza Hotel.

It came out that he was taking in just shy of $100k/yr completely tax free.

That's creative productivity in my book and a brave dismissal of societal expectations.

So, don't feel bad, maybe you should congratulate her on her ingenuity?

originally posted by: boymonkey74
a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

Empathy dude I put myself in their shoes and I feel bad for them.
I don't think it is guilt though and I don't know how homeless people put guilt on you.
Give or don't only you have to look yourself in the mirror everyday.

Why should i look myself in the mirror?

its them who should be looking in mirror.. ask themselves 'how they got there'? and 'What they can do about their current situation'?

boymonkey said it perfect.

It's called empathy, not guilt.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

If you can look in the mirror everyday and feel okay for your actions good for you.
I don't judge homeless people for whatecer circumstances got them there because a couple of bad choices or simply they got a bad hand in life because it can happen to any of us.
You feel guilty you said it not me.
I don't feel guilt when I see people in a bad way I try to empathise.
Im not picking a fight btw just telling you my opinion.

I, too, think you are mistaking what you feel. It doesn't sound like "guilt" to me, and you furthermore give a good argument on why you don't or shouldn't feel guilty.

Like some others, I experience compassion, and a thought that I want to help. I'm not a fool, and don't just give money away, but simultaneously don't mind contributing to make another's hardship a little easier.

Maybe you don't feel compassion, or sympathy or empathy, or the urge to help. You will have to examine what you truly feel and why.

To be honest, what you describe sounds more like anger.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

…I often get asked for Money when I'm out and about and I only wanted to go out to enjoy myself and get out of the house!

So you have a house? A fridge with food in it, light switches on the walls and faucets with hot water? How about your bed, is it comfy? You sleep securely, surrounded by walls and doors with locks?

Giving a little something to someone isn't going to cure anything, but might make someone's day that hasn't as much wealth as you just that little bit easier.

Whats that set you back?

Don't feel guilty.
Does that help?

What it sounds like is that you DO feel guilty. Why write this thread? Maybe you wanted others to tell you that you shouldnt care because they dont care either, or for someone to tell you as boymonkey did so well that its all up to you. No one can tell you what to do or how to feel, but based on you writing this, my opinion is that you DO care, and thats whats truly bothering you.

Nothing wrong with having empathy, and if you are torn with this woman, take the same 3 min you took to buy someone a beer, and ask her what happened. If she says she feels like asking for things, then walk away feeling ok with your decision, but if not then give her a buck, a sandwich, or a handshake and move on.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

You don't, your not doing anything wrong, neither are they, it's just an inconvenient truth of the world that some people are homeless. It not like it's a new phenomena. Live and let live don't make a big deal out of it

a reply to: angeldoll

Well, its turned to anger from what was once Empathy & Guilt!

Because even though I've handed over cash every now and again and even complained to the Councils (That they arent helping), I still see homeless about and I'm still being asked.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist it's turned tfrom guilt to anger in the space of this thread? Wow your emotions are all over the place on this issue. Just accept it and turn your anger elsewhere, you've no idea how those people got on the streets, many homeless are ex service men

a reply to: intrptr

No, it doesnt cure anything.

And I'm not Wealthy... I survive because I've learnt to with what I get...

I'm still trying to get somewhere in this life myself.

originally posted by: TruthxIsxInxThexMist
a reply to: angeldoll

Well, its turned to anger from what was once Empathy & Guilt!

Because even though I've handed over cash every now and again and even complained to the Councils (That they arent helping), I still see homeless about and I'm still being asked.

Why don't you just tell us how you feel?

a reply to: woodwardjnr

No, I think I was confusing 'Guilt' with 'Anger'.

And yes I do have Empathy at the same time. Its a mixture of the three.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist just ask yourself, do you want to live a life of hatred and anger? You don't have to. Compassion can actually make you feel better, it can improve your life. Not just the lives of others. I'm not preaching, it's your life, do what you want.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

nope. not a shred of guilt and i offer them nothing.
about 15 years ago a woman knocked on my door. i answered and she said her and her daughter(i saw no kid) was hungry and would i give them money. i told her i would not give money but if she waited outside i would make her and her daughter something to eat for the road.
she copped and attitude and didnt want it.

so, that was the last time for me.
their situation is not my problem.
lots of jobs in my area.

a reply to: TruthxIsxInxThexMist

Don't feel guilty, it ain't your fault!

I spent 6 months sleeping the streets as a homeless 16 year old. I stop and talk/advise/assist most days with my local homeless folk, when I spot a new face I introduce myself and share a smoke over an always interesting human story.
Of course my own experiences have influenced my actions/perspective, but don't ever feel guilty for someone else's situation if it had # all to do with you.
Only feel guilty if you treat someone bad.

...catch eyes and say hi to a homeless person if you feel safe enough one day, the gift of simple communication and recognition as a human being can be like ecstasy to someone alone on the streets. It's always a game of numbers with any social group, but basic love for a stranger is always a good thing.
If you have that then guilt is not an emotion you should feel.