fragmented memories...

Anyone else have unexplained memories that are fragmented? I have one of being a baby witnessing police coming into a murder scene or someone storming police in a murder scene... the identities seem mixed up... I recall being fine until I was picked up and taken away, I remember wigs and uniforms in closets that I never saw people wearing but they frightened me, the only thing that makes me jump is a loud bang and unexpected touch... i don't know what to make of it.

My "parents" have been in a cult since I was a small child the WWCoG then into a splinter group, they abused me in all forms.

I also remember being taken to some brown building with round windows on the side where it seemed as if I had been sexually abused by people I didn't know before they joined it.

Their mental abuse is similar to trying to keep you as a small child it's a push pull feeling that makes you feel as if you could careless after awhile no matter what happens to you then them then everyone else... but I managed to escape that several times, but for some reason it seems like beyond my power I end up right back there even though it's the last place I'd ever want to be in a billion^1000000000 lifetimes.

It seems I had trigger words and places of touch to make me react abnormally, and I don't know why other than this abuse that seems as a mental block. I have worked hard to over come these things, but when unwittingly or unwantingly, or unknowingly placed in such a position of toxicity to break you time and time again the feeling is more numb to everything but basic human contact, but distrustful of any group larger than 2 even if there is no threat... out of the toxicity it's like a blossoming flower and normalcy returns... but like a black hole you cannot seem to escape it.


mods if this is not the place? feel free to move it as one sees fit except deleted to the trash... thanks.

Very MKUltra style.

Did the trauma stop at about age 5-7.

If you want to go deeper and understand the fragmented memories, then you will have to get the codes to bypass what are called 'Gate Keeper' alters. They are very deep in your mind.

Usually your handler will know what the code, pinch, electric shock, flickering light frequency is to gain access. Handlers can be mothers, fathers or outsiders.

Sometimes, its best to leave them alone because memories of being in DUMP's (Deep Underground Military Prisons) can come flooding back fast.

Source: timenolonger.ning.com...

a reply to: Tristran

It stopped only on full enlightenment... they still try, now it's onto other sorts of mental abuse trying to find a chink in some armor that no longer exists. I hear triggers and it's sad and pathethic, I see all the mental cues and programming in media... after months of this I have grown very hip to their game, they have been trying to make me think I am River Phoenix rising from the dead muah hahhaha since I was told right after he died how he was really killed.

Sorry, people that do this sort of thing. I have no controllers but in name only I have no triggers no matter how hard they pull, nor how deeply embedded they are in all forms of culture and entertainment to those unwitting of it or not in some mind control program...

I just heard a "yuh" outside my window while typing this... which was a command for a German Shepard I grew up alongside named king, when I was a child which meant come here, but it also can mean come here or "emerge".

which would probably get me murdered for dissemination to the wrong people.... like the following "conversation" I had with an Aunt.

don't you want to come up and catch your fish
flounder? they taste good but the dmv has me on lock down with an illegal law, and my mom trying to keep me a baby is the only thing crippling me from succeeding.

i'm on 891 candy crush trying to catch sue and ruby
some people go broke playing that game... i took my card off after realizing they stack the deck... if you have a card on file with them remove it and see how quick you get past it. im deleting it after 500 because thats how many levels it was when I started playing it

i said to albert one day about a baby lefted on road side i said i like to have that baby he no i'm your baby lol

no i dont buy any to play
well, what is going to happen to him when you are gone ann?
perhaps he's hurting himself in your eyes to die the same time as yourself.
im a grown man i do the things i love doing harmful or not because they make me happy but im a grown man and do not need parenting

shanes been living in calafornia they are moving back here hes going work at riverside hospital computer stuff
i have a son to share my lessons with i cant stay a baby

he was kidding
I like shane I dont know why i used to tease him with shame on shane when we were little other than it rhymed

i had tould your mom you could took your truck to tangier to stay in before

moms house ant liveable

the kitchen floor bad
she wants me to be albert and that monster she is married too just wants to keep abusing and hurting. I've hated him as long as I can remember, he's only nice to get close and try to hurt and pervert again. ive wished him dead prayed him dead and until the good lord takes him? my soul wont feel free as i have no justice.
well, i told her I'd fix it up, if you let me stay in it in return for rent I'd buy the materials etc
I want to fix my rv up and other things but he is always around
id be working on fixing the house but he is always around
ive got trash and dirty clothes backing up because of the pain of always seeing him. they wont go on vacation even though they say they will so im stuck losing summer time because i hibernate in cold weather

tell ruthie to help you
well, grandma Sarah always told me she wanted that place for family to live there, i was gonna move there and take care of her but ruth said i couldnt take care of myself when i was in alabama taking care of myself had a job a fine woman and got into college, when she needs a man to take care of herself
when grandma got older she was trying to give it to everybody because she was giving she asked me about leving it to my parents for helping her, and i told her they had enough.

well i was planning on let family go there but that hurracane got it bad
mill didnt visit her unless she was hurting and I heard her and spencer dropping hint after hint that they wanted it, in my opinion that was forged or when grandma was slipping away. sad really the closer you look to death the more crows come out

and i had no help
thats a shame, mom told me that and I said what is jr doing? she said painting. i said why wont ann let him live in it to fix it up? she never really answered
ruthie and jim went there to clean grandma out, they sold a nice house lived there cleaned her out, have a much nicer house than before and now trying to do the same here. sick is what it is

he stays in mina house
i live a simple life and am happy living in excess doesnt make you happy it is gold teeth when nothing is wroing with the ones under it

the floor all messed up real bad

i have trailer in back

i let joey stay there before
i have so much stuff no where to put it or any way to move it and now dmv trying to make me unable to take care of myself by cutting off my driving... id fix floors etc... but im currently stuck under a lot of thumbs

but needs work
if you offered it to my parents under the condition they move there and fix it? id be in a much better position to move about, but if they refuse that then i would be happy to try and sell all my # and move there and fix it up
except motorcycles
and entertainment stuff and some clothes
no need buying that stuff again til it breaks
i bet tangier could use a scooter shop afterwards

bet so
but it is yours as grandma willed so hey maybe your boys could work as a team so you can be more independent? if i was your son thats what i would want my brothers to do for you

or golf cart
im a two wheeled man i hate cars
they are good for family but i have only room for two on a bike
ett taking me to get circumsied in a basket doesnt count as a child seat lol

i meant u fix golf carts
i can but i prefer motorcycles scooters

did she really
thats what mom told me... i remember seeing a face that looked like mom when i was a baby in a basket looking up... the red hair and similar face i asked where were we going? she said it was ett taking me to get that done. she kept letting him sneak in there and putting Vaseline on it then that turned into abuse
she said i bet thats why you didnt like ett... i dont remember that, i loved ett she was always so sweet and nice to me
ruth said those two were so busy having sex and being jealous of everyone she had to take care of me when she got tired joanne did they were never home we were always locked out of the house
its like they hated us, i wished to be adopted or stolen or something for the longest time anything would have been better than that grandma told me i had maggots in my diaper i hadnt been changed in so long
yet i still give them chances over and over, i said no more chance to him... he's offered me new harelys etc trying to buy his way into heaven... no thanks you cant buy freedom of conscious you have to earn it and make amends
she defends him over and over and over while he tries to drive us all crazy to save his own neck from prison because they kill child molesters in there if they can get to them
she hates jerry because she said he tried to kiss her while she was married, i said you hate him because he tried to kiss you? yet you will lay in bed next to a man that has raped all of your children? you are just as sick! she's a peeping tom herself. edging and always nosey into everyones business but her own...

text limits bother me sorry I'd straighten it out if there were more room but the jist is clear... an aunt that has given her son an Oedipus complex is very common, they try to make you think you are someone you are not to hide who they actually are.

I feel like a Charles Mingle baby I dont know if that is how it is pronounced but they use all sorts of conditioning and triggers and abuse to continue this madness.

apparently it has failed due to my experience that was unintended... and they are looking for more super soldier funding from a forum shown on this very website.

I feel they are trying to compartmentalize me or trigger me into some sort of social atrocity or murder me in an attempt to liquidate their assets...

but hey I have no material clinging, and I only want peace and am not in anyway shape or form suicidal.

I feel they thought they could keep going with temptations of money greed and power as a trigger when then Buddhist path does away with those things and well the Christian path teaches long suffering.

I'd rather be a whistle blower than another martyr to hush or sweep under the rug.

but then again this program was supposed to have ended, perhaps it went into black ops? I dont know and I dont care it just needs to end the chaos that it creates in humanity with it's divisions.

How can I be a sleeper if I am dead, how can I be delusional if Im dreaming, how can I sacrifice when I have nothing to give? Money? It doesn't buy happiness no matter how mountainous it just buy people slaves and control.

So cest la vie my little cabbage we are farts in the wind that make a big stink over nothing a new wind blows and where it stops? Who knows who knows?

Are you over age 30 because technically that is when the elite throw their alpha/beta/gamma/delta/other slaves off the 'freedom train'.

If you have just shouted 'activation codes' in the previous posts then start watching your back. What you have done has just really pi55ed them off.

You know what is going to be really funny to watch. They think they are dealing with demons as in split personalities. However, when the real daemons start to come onto the scene at CERN very soon, they will be the first ones that will be ripped apart by the rephaim (giants).

a reply to: Tristran

I am 42, I have been called the answer from hitchikers and they have been using my enlightenment and posts as weapons against me with new scripts and controls, which is disturbing in the sense that they could use them in the future on others that have not been fortunate to experience a true awakening but the deluded irrational one.

I prefer to refer to them as social and cultural MEME's since this has become digital. whether they be on or offline last I was out at my local to play billiards when it is normally barren it was almost like a weekend which i like to avoid. I heard people try to put me down, goad me into fighting and all other sorts of noise that matters not to one without a self nor attachment to body speech and mind to cling to such irrational concepts called reality... to do what cover up reality sad but true.

anyways perhaps this jade helm business is a cover to route them all out I dont know... I will not be controlled because I can't be and as try as they might? I will not pick up the role of controller.

I exist for others on the path that have difficulty not for me, so how can I be harmed? they taught me to be sociopathic against others at the end of that first business you mentioned, now it's onto aesthetic training Ive already been through as I sit here with a fully functioning air conditioner that has cooling that goes in and out sweat box I suppose...

of course that sounds mental... as it could be the freon going in and out... my "dad" always talked about powering vechiles with Freon 11 I believe as a steam powered engine.

was this a suppression with a threat to indoctrinate him? I dont know but he has a god complex. they call themselves spiritual jews and all their kids are supposed to be the second coming blah blah doom porn etc. and spew hate speech with the N word with a hard R at the end.

I was called by a friend on FB silly and I sad is that a nice way to be called "touched in the head?" He has a degree from princeton he claims I dont know never have seen it but beyond that does it matter? He said it meant "touched by god" and told me to put on my "big boy pants." and given a link to a speech by a man that was something I could have already written... I didnt agree with some of the slant at the time from my own experience but it is what it is.

A have another friend supposedly from either harvard or there I cant recall that tried to wake me up as river phoenix or the matrix is a reality meme... well the matrix as a reality is close but no cigar. I have seen biogenisis in action within my minds eye... and how it operates and deviates and all the little splits and turns, the birth of the universe, how gravity works... the big bang is indeed correct but I will not divulge the gravity quotent no matter how hard they try. because I know where it leads and no one survives much like the beginning of the video game Crysis3 where the lead character is called prophet which is a cross over from the Halo series.

Sorry folks we dont make it that far in that possible reality that I have seen... no break away civilization survives and with dog stars help(reeves/covenant elites) or not no one survives it is a lie.

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness
Well look on the bright side.

At least "holly wall of text batman" is a phrase which will be recycled indefinitely, pun on pun intended. But ya, your all over the place with your rantings. And yes it is rantings. As such I do believe this may be in the wrong forum. Triggers trigger triggering tricksters intriguing but not really.

@BigBrotherDarkness

Do these dates register with you ? Just wondering if any triggers have been setup on these days.

2015 July 22nd
2015 August 1st
2015 Mid August (15th-16th)
2015 First 9 days of October
2015 Oct 17
2015 Nov 4th 9:35AM, 7:30PM -> 5th

a reply to: galadofwarthethird

I appreciate your concern, but I am exploring an area very heavy with ignorance to better understand it so I may help others that have been through the same thing... in the world at large this appears as a experience of "crazy" and disordered for lack of a better word I am defragmenting areas that do not make sense... so naturally as a result the introspection of this experience and asking for teachers that are either ignorant or hiding it may reveal more of it so that I may better understand it.

This is not for anything by any agency but my own exploration of this phenomena, yes I have been a victim of this but have avoided the topic until I was sound in logic and reason so it would not become an extreme to become stuck in.

It appears one respond-er has experience of this by the questions they have asked, and yourself one that could point a finger as "insanity" the two witnesses that can call all of this ignorance and not truth that would cloud all else I've ever spoken under this avatar this account or whatever, even more so if my containers identity was known... I am sure they are aware from the conversation with my Aunt, and what they do next how they behave is a curiosity.

It is not out of vindication, it is just karma coming due, trying to harm more just makes it worse for them... it's like trying to cure a burn with more fire. It is senseless and a banal pursuit. I am hoping they realize this...

is it wrong to ask a hand that hurts to stay on it's own accord and not strike with a voice raising the hand out of something other than truth and clarity? I do not find error in asking people to stop and lay it down to reserve judgment til all is settled unclouded. If bodies are stacked and piled? Why keep adding more in the witch hunt? It will be worse as this hate and greed snowball and grow momentum.

Why add more charges to a lesser charge? It's as if you were asked to slow down then you got back on the road and went even faster, then you get a ticket, so you get on the road and try even faster then you go to jail, pushing limits only creates more irritation as it compounds.

I would hope others come forward and share their experience in order to learn directly from them no matter what level of experience in the cycle.

Good day I am already pressed for time.

a reply to: galadofwarthethird

Probably holy wall of text batman. But holly wall? Maybe at Christmas time.

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness
Ah the language of good and evil. The paranoia of the soul, duality manifested in inconsistency's, introspect by looking at others or even oneself through the prism of fault, a fools quest some say, and taken by detour of misinterpretations of the map of life.

Life craves rhyme and reason and looks for it everywhere. Fiction and plot, the two are mutually acquainted, but in life are generally not mutually equated.

Good day I am already pressed for time.

And a good day to you to sir. May the god of fist be with you.

Ah your all crazy in this thread. The only sane one is me, and maybe the OP, but only when he makes sense, which is not often.

Now can we all just agree that pikachus the best Pokemon ever and move on already. Its quite obviously that while walls of texts may be easier to read, they do point to the fact that there may be a wall of thought behind in whoever wrote that wall of text. Run on sentences are a symptom of run on thoughts.

It is good that God in his infinite wisdom created parentheses and commas and grammatical spacing, or else the grammar nazis would be everywhere. None of you are equipped to understand or grasp the bat # craziness that is run on sentences and random spouted nonsense.

Now that has been settled. I challenge anyone to even try and stuff six hardboiled eggs in there mouths and eat them all at the same time. Cant do it I bet cha.

But anyways, so whats this thread about?

a reply to: AutumnWitch657

I wasn't saying you were a shill I was saying that if someone doesn't believe you YOU call them a shill or spy. As in
"You blind alpha slave trolls always walk into the trap"
That was you saying that. I say when your argument is weak you resort to calling someone a troll. Happens all the time on here so it must be a valid argument. NOT.

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