Abusive Customer - Disabled Cashier - WWYD?

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

Seriously,,,Run out of the store screaming, "HOLD UP" "POLICE" "HOLDUP". When all's said and done you can tell the police, if they come, because of her actions you thought it was a "hold up" against a disabled man. (Not good in a media sense.)

Now,,haha, we may laugh, but stupid cadaillac owner may get a sound talking to and her caddy searched.

All you have to say in the end is "sorry, she was acting aggressive officer."

Bally.

I have intervened in situations like this.

"Do you really have to be so rude".
"Have you been drinking"?
"You are only making yourself look stupid by raising your voice".

Used them all. The "have you been drinking" tends to make people very defensive, especially after a car accident!... "Of course I have not". "Ah", you say, "it must be drugs then"?

The idea is to deflect the person from their tirade and make them realise they have an unappreciative audience. That tends to calm things down.

However, in the US I would be afraid of being shot, so I would defo walk away.

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

I would ask the lady in a easy calm tone what it was she was looking for, If I had no idea what it was or didn't understand her old lady lingo, I'd tell her they didnt have it, and it was at another store a fancy far away one who may put up with her. If she continued to yell, berate me or the cashier, I would raise my tone to her, even at your size, just to match the tone and volume. to see if she quiets or gets louder. If She quiets then quiet yours to hers and continue, if she gets louder, don't feed it, stay silent, maybe talk to the cashier and ignore her attitude then find a customer or employee to get power in numbers.

People are afraid of her because she's mean and old, she has money, she pushes her anger out with the defense that noone will likley smack her. Another attempt if she yelled at you would be to take her side and agree with her, then tell her that they have what she wants somewhere else, saw there jsut two days ago, got there in my caddilac from my driver Joe Bob the mute. Once she leaves, just apologize to the cashier on her behalf to lift his spirits. If you took the lady's side just explain that its just mimicking to get the lady to feel comfortable with someone of her attitude.

Concentrate wither all energy towards her or away from her, but don't get her target (cashier) into it at all, in fact maybe just ask him to go find a manager so she can't see him. Remove the stimulus (boy) maybe she simmers. Always try to tell a person what they did wrong, and offer help, maybe the old lady could write down what she wants or find a picture in a ad. But never feed their fire, you will be able to tell by anything you do or say what works. (asking her nicley makes her ore mad, firming your tone, as if she was a dog that chewed your wedding dress up, or peed on your bed,) be a boss when you need to, even if your'e not.

It's difficult to correct other people in public places, can be intimidating and maybe dangerous, but if other people witness it, and it bothers you-then it would likley bother them and they would back your word (maybe, some don't care if a person is shot in the next aisle). This is how community should work, without relying on police and such to handle such trivial things everyday. Call someone out when needed, but don't embarass them, flip it so your turning their actions into a learning situation, or just offer help when they seem to need it and noone else is capable or willing. Just showing you care and want to help, will almost immediatley trust you. Even if you don't agree with their story, see their point and offer a more "peaceful" "economic" solution that they can use in the future.

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

Hey GENERAL EYES!

I always intervene.
I always stand up for the 'underdog' in situations that occur.

I would have likely smiled at her and said something like, "Oh sweetheart, is English your second language because even I don't understand what it is you want. This lovely young man has customers waiting, so why don't you tell me what you want and I will try to find it for you."

When I was a cashier and customers were rude to me, I killed 'em with kindness. The meaner they got, the sweeter I became.

However, if someone is nasty making racial slurs, or questioning intellectual capacity...I can get mean. Once a woman loudly started harassing a Muslim lady (who happened to be my friend)...and I had no problem calling her "white trash" and telling her that I wouldn't serve her if she didn't clam up immediately.

It's nice to be 6' tall sometimes....easy to "look down my nose at people" when required.

jacygirl

So move to a higher income area, problem solved.

Well you walked away and left him to his fate, so what we would do is irrelivant!

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

Use your imagination as to what I would do

Fortunately, my brother is very high up in the West Aust police force, so I know my rights and how cops react to me "protecting those unable to protect themselves"

a reply to: Sublimecraft

G'day Sublimecraft,

Good call, good men and women. May have come across your bro,

Regards,

Bally.

You should've called the police.
They would've turned up and emptied a clip into her.
Problem solved the good ol' American way. lol

Well if it was me, I would have sent my husband home, first of all, if he couldn't handle it.
Then I would have started politely, telling that woman that she needed to calm down, if she wanted to be helped properly.
I most certainly would have stuck around to make sure the cashier was ok.
It doesn't matter how big or small you are. Doing the right thing matters, and there would have been two of you against her.

I'm not very tolerant of people like her, and most of the time, just speaking up can stop it.

I would have walked up to the woman and said, "You'll have to be a little patient with him. He hasn't been on the job very long and he isn't used to dealing with special needs people like yourself. My niece is like that and she throws temper tantrums, too. Perhaps you could explain to me what it is you are looking for."

originally posted by: VictorVonDoom
I would have walked up to the woman and said, "You'll have to be a little patient with him. He hasn't been on the job very long and he isn't used to dealing with special needs people like yourself. My niece is like that and she throws temper tantrums, too. Perhaps you could explain to me what it is you are looking for."

That is PRICELESS!!!!!

I will have to use that sometime! Love it!!

jacygirl

a reply to: GENERAL EYES
The answer to this was very simple. All you had to do was turn to your cashier friend, and ask him if he would like you to call the police. Situation diffused.

I had a similar recent experience in a local fast food place.

Guy at the register was clearly a little bit slow, or some form of autism disorder, but really nice, and gave me the best service I have ever had in this place (my orders are routinely screwed up by most of the other staff).

I go to a table and wait for my number, and the next guy who walks in places his order in almost unintelligible ghetto slang. The kid politely asked him to repeat the order. The guy repeats it without changing his pronounciation or speed at all, and is now a bit irritated. The kid then repeats back the order but doesn't get it 100% right still. Now the guy practically starts barking at the kid, but actually says his words much more clearly finally.

At this point the kid looks sheepish, and the guy is doing the teeth-sucking sound thing and moaning gibberish and curses at half volume. I'm about 30ft away and I stand up and shout over to the guy "HEY, don't talk to him like that! You need to apologize!".

In all honestly I was kinda looking for a fight cause I really wanted to slap this guy silly, but he actually backed down and apologized to the kid.

I'm not tall, I'm built kinda stout, but I can look extremely serious and this guy just really pissed me off with his total ignorance and attitude in the face of a disabled kid. Maybe not the wisest move ever, but damn did it feel good!

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

Well...I am 5' 10"...I am tall and I would have stayed and been moral support for that young man...and I would have said to the woman something like..."You'd think with the way you are dressed and that car of yours outside; you would have some manners...I suggest you start using some now...this clerk is doing his best to help you...you don't own him and you are not his boss...how about apologizing to him...and starting over with your request in a polite manner."

Also...if I had a partner like your husband...I would have asked him to wait outside or go home...and I'll be along in a few minutes.

I think for your circumstances...you did what was right for you and your husband at the time. Sometimes...I can be an assertive force in society...sometimes it works out...sometimes it dosen't.

That might be the one thing I have going for me in situations like this. I've intervened a few times and when that person decides "oh I am gonna turn around and beat this person to a pulp," they swivel and find a 6'4" and 250# guy behind them. Thing is....for the most part I can't fight for crap. No kidding. But a lot of these richer folk think they can always find a way to intimidate others. Which is weird because a lot of them only have their money to hide behind. Naturally, if we fought I'd probably be in jail since their lawyer would likely eradicate mine...but when they see me and realize they can't intimidate and that their money doesn't frighten me...well bye bye...no more conflict

And this very thing happened a solid 8 years ago and it's probably one of my favorite moments in my life when it comes to justice

I am in uniform (Air Force) and driving home from a physical therapy appointment and getting right back to work. We're coming down the street and the red light hits. Across the street is a teenager and his girlfriend about to turn right...red light hits WAAAAAY back and this richy rich woman in her Mercedes whatever car goes through the light, changes lane in the intersection, plows right into the side of the teenager as he is trying to exit the parking lot and careens into a church. Naturally step one was I checked for injuries...amazingly not a scratch. I go to the teenager and this woman is tearing him a new one and saying how it's his fault and he is gonna pay every cent and go to jail. This poor kid, like 18, is terrified. I walk up and get behind her and say "you know damn well this was your fault." She turns and tries to get in my face and I replied "that would not be a good move. I saw you change lanes, speed, and blow a red light all in an intersection and you are clearly at fault. And I am staying here until the police arrive to tell them just that."

blah blah blah she yells I have no authority here blah blah

Police arrive. teenager gives his side...richy rich gives her side...and teenager points me out and I tell officer "let me tell you what really happened."

A month later I get this weird call...the teenager's mom. "Sir, I know you were at the accident...but this woman raised a lawsuit...do you think you could..." I interrupted full stop. "Yes. Tell me the court date and I will be there"

Even went in dress blues...I AM in court after all -smirk-

Case ended...she paid every dime with insurance and I was called later and by some miracle the kid's insurance didn't go up a penny

So yeah I apologize but I am bragging on this one and I am not sorry at all

I love when people stick up for the innocent. The moral is, when it comes to these upper class yahoos, one of the greatest ways to deal with them is NOT get mean, not yell, not berate...immediately they will think you are trying to be above them and all they know in their upper class life is that they are above others.

The key is to get professional. I know this sounds quirky...but no matter what the situation is, if I am going to go into an appointment with a supervisor or some POS who is trying to screw me over...I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS bring a notepad and pen. Everything they say I look them in the eye and write it down, dates and times and I make sure they SEE ME doing it.

Like I said it sounds weird but it changes tunes real fast

Find your way to professionally and calmly put this woman in her place and she will shrivel into nothing.

originally posted by: GENERAL EYES
new maroon Cadillac parked right out front. I wonder, if this woman can't clearly communicate to a cashier clerk what she needs from a dollar store, how the hell in god's name can she do any sort of professional work in order to afford such high payments on such an expensive luxury car?

God yes!!! I see these idiots everywhere here in SFL and my mind just screams "WTF does this person do that requires no brain cells, yet pays a salary that can buy THAT?!?!?"


As to your main question, I personally would have ripped that lady a new arsehole and probably made her cry. No person, especially one with a clear disability deserves to deal with these self-important pricks and their inability to stop thinking about themselves for long enough to realize the nice person is struggling to help them.


Your cashier sounds a lot like the guy in my story, working two part-time jobs and being very eager and polite.

I'm an asshole, but only when warranted. I have no problem telling some verbally abusive person to back the eff down.

No offense, but your husband needs to grow a pair. Someone should have told that lady off, and sadly an employee cannot do so without risking their job.

Many years ago I was at a diner, a late-night spot that my friends and I frequented after the clubs closed. There was a manager/host(ess)? there that no one was sure if she was transexual or just kind of manly. She was always very nice, treated us with a lot of respect, and so the favor was returned..

One night as we were leaving a middle-aged man with an orange tan and his scantily dressed, fake breasted, too-much-perfume wearing girl was on his arm. He started very loudly and publicly verbally assaulting the manager at the front counter. Calling her a "tranny" followed by a whole pile of obscenities. I don't remember now exactly what I said to him, but I was approximately 19-20 at the time and laid in to him just as hard as he was laying in to her. I told him he needed to leave and never come back if he couldn't be respectful to the staff and patrons of the diner.

It's always worth standing up for people who are being bullied, I assure you. It makes you feel good and 4-6 hours later you aren't still worked up and fuming - you are at peace because you did the right thing.

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

First off it can't have bothered you that much cause you just walked off. Size is no excuse for not having the stones to assist that cashier. Whether or not that woman drove a pinto or a caddy makes no difference.

Rude is rude.

Whining about coulda woulda shoulda later is pretty lame. Cashiers are expected to put up with some of the worst behaviors seen in society. If you aren't going to speak up at the time, it's pointless to chew the fat over it.

Why you didn't return to the store and insist the Mgr. review the security footage escapes me.....while commending the cashier & co-worker for continuing to do their jobs in a professional manner.

Most businesses now have security camera's, leaning over and reminding a lunatic customer they are being filmed usually does the trick whether there are camera's or not. Of course there are gonna be a million reasons not to get involved, I don't care to hear them.

Either you stand up and do the right thing, or you don't.
Cashiers aren't paid enough to put up with bad behavior nor should they have too.
A letter to corporate praising these two would go a LONG way. Customers like that can & will be banned if Management has a reason too.

I would have told her she was being rude and pointed out he was trying to assist.

Next, would have stayed the entire time as a witness, so she couldn't get him fired by management which to me, is probably what she was doing. Some city counsel type or authority dark hat, who may even be looking for such an opportunity, maybe they put people like him, which would show too empowerment in an area, on watch lists. There are other explanations for her behavior, thats just one possibility but think he would benefit from a calm witness to the case.

In any case, its not too late, since you know him, to check back and see how it went or if management was called, and to offer your witness to the situation if she was hellbent in taking his job away.