When Hitting Someone Is OK

originally posted by: Chrisfishenstein

You make whatever personal attacks you want.....Just keep talking to that 2 year old and expect them to listen to you! Sit them down and explain like an adult and see how far that takes you...This sissy, nancy girl kids crap that is part of society now a days is an absolute joke, and the prisoners (kids) know who runs the asylum (home)....But you keep having that sit down discussion with your kids and best of luck when they don't listen to a word you say or respect you in any way, shape, or form for letting them do whatever they want...Best of luck to you!

Like I said. I have dealt with more children in my life than most people will. I have coached 1000's of children, over the years and never had to strike a single child.

If hitting a child works, then by all means do it. I'm sure your children turned out great. I wouldn't challenge you on something like that.

I personally don't subscribe to hitting. Who knows maybe if I had 10 children I would feel differently, but if I had 10 children I most likely wouldn't even be typing this post.

originally posted by: Rocker2013

You need to work out the difference between adults and kids, and the difference between abuse and parenting.

The fact that you make this comparison only reinforces my belief that you seem to think kids are capable of the same mental processing as adults, maybe this is why you have the views you have.

Kids do not have the same reasoning capabilities as adults. I'll agree on this, in fact, the age of reason is around 8 years old, but does this lend way to hitting?

Maybe you are correct and that inflicting pain will teach a child.

But does this work before the age or reason, or after?

a reply to: chiefsmom

A perfect lesson from what sounds like an excellent parent! This stuff really does help if used properly!

originally posted by: Realtruth

originally posted by: Chrisfishenstein

You make whatever personal attacks you want.....Just keep talking to that 2 year old and expect them to listen to you! Sit them down and explain like an adult and see how far that takes you...This sissy, nancy girl kids crap that is part of society now a days is an absolute joke, and the prisoners (kids) know who runs the asylum (home)....But you keep having that sit down discussion with your kids and best of luck when they don't listen to a word you say or respect you in any way, shape, or form for letting them do whatever they want...Best of luck to you!

Like I said. I have dealt with more children in my life than most people will. I have coached 1000's of children, over the years and never had to strike a single child.

If hitting a child works, then by all means do it. I'm sure your children turned out great. I wouldn't challenge you on something like that.

I personally don't subscribe to hitting. Who knows maybe if I had 10 children I would feel differently, but if I had 10 children I most likely wouldn't even be typing this post.

NOW I understand....Your "experiences" are with others children! No wonder you can't hit them! You would be put in prison now a days!!! It is starting to make more sense as you explain...Believe me, there is really truly a lot of positive to spanking, not abuse, not beating, not hitting or punching....But well placed spanking is really, truly useful for good parents!

a reply to: Realtruth

Blame parents, and blame the parents parents.

Too be honest, I'd blame parent who love their children enough, to not let them go. My dad told me one story when I was toddler playing on the drive of a busy street, however I don't recall it. He said a ball rolled off to the road, and my dad yelled at me, and went to get it himself.

He would stand and wait at the line of the side walk closest to the street saying come over here for the ball. Now when I did walk up to him and cross the line, he gave me a good smack on my side, and I'd ask "why you do that". He'd say you cross the line, then I'd walk back to the house, and he'd call me again to cross the line. When I did, he smacked me again.

After a couple of time of that, he'd call me again, and I'd go "No, your going to smack me again".

I got smacked enough time to learn my lesson, and I'd never run to the street for rolling ball ever again, that much I remember.

Sad thing is, is that there are a lot of kids with no fathers, or are unlucky enough to deal with insecure people that raise them with abuse. The sins of the father really do affect the son Im afraid.

Who is to blame indeed.

originally posted by: Chrisfishenstein
THE EFFING PARENT'S FOR NOT TEACHING THEIR EFFING KIDS A LESSON!!! For sitting them down talking to them like an adult when they are a child..

I don't understand your need to use caps, bad language, and exclamations. It diminishes your credibility and your ability have a logical argument.

originally posted by: Realtruth

originally posted by: Chrisfishenstein
THE EFFING PARENT'S FOR NOT TEACHING THEIR EFFING KIDS A LESSON!!! For sitting them down talking to them like an adult when they are a child..

I don't understand your need to use caps, bad language, and exclamations. It diminishes your credibility and your ability have a logical argument.

I used caps because you keep asking the same question over and over and we (multiple users) keep telling you the same thing over and over! Effing is not bad language BTW....That is literally me saying effing not the other word...Credibility from you is not something I am looking for either, I am giving you my opinion from one computer screen to another...I really don't care what you think of me or my views...I argue that there are positives to well placed spanking, if you don't believe me or don't think I am "credible"....mmmmmkay....

originally posted by: Chrisfishenstein
NOW I understand....Your "experiences" are with others children! No wonder you can't hit them! You would be put in prison now a days!!! It is starting to make more sense as you explain...Believe me, there is really truly a lot of positive to spanking, not abuse, not beating, not hitting or punching....But well placed spanking is really, truly useful for good parents!

Actually you don't, and didn't read the OP.

I have a children of my own.

And on a side-note I do appreciate your input, because it makes for the opposite side of the argument, in this case.

I flagged this thread because it's interesting and appalling.

Never did I strike my child. I pity the person who uses violence to correct bad behavior. What is wrong with a person who hits a dog, a child, or a person?

Don't hit. (they may hit back.)

In my generation, we got spanked and we all turned out quite well. These days parents are so lenient and irresponsible, and we see how many of thier kids are turning out. Self absorbed, no respect etc.

originally posted by: Night Star
In my generation, we got spanked and we all turned out quite well. These days parents are so lenient and irresponsible, and we see how many of thier kids are turning out. Self absorbed, no respect etc.

Night unfortunately I have to disagree with your first statement. "We", meaning our society is actually dysfunctional at best. lol


But I will agree with you on the second statement parenting, or lack of means to spend time with the child, and in our chaotic state, and rat race the children are turning out just like the self-absorbed, and self-centered parents.

Children mirror what they see and how they are raised.

Monkey see....

Thanks for the input.

a reply to: Realtruth

I had some simple rules that went with butt spankings:

If it endangers you or someone else,you get spanked for a life lesson about danger.Better to hurt a little now,than suffer major pain for quite a while because you disobeyed me.
If after 3 swats the lesson hasn't gotten to them,it won't from swatting at all.Better to move on to some other form of discipline.
Always take a deep breathe and think before swatting. Know your reasons and make sure they are valid.You will have to answer to your kids later on in life.
Use swatting if my kids are 'deliberately' disobeying me.If they want to step into my shoes and start making their own rules when they are not adults yet,they better learn now,that my rules go.When they are old enough,they can move out and make their own,until then they WILL respect my rules.
My rules must always be fair,thought out,and serve a purpose.None of this "because I said so". If I am to hold my kids to a higher standard,then I must also obey that standard FIRST.

It worked well,and my sons who are both much larger than me(I'm 5'2) love and respect me and felt they were fairly treated.Even though the rules would sometimes be different for each of them,or the punishment would be different.They were individuals and were treated as such.What works on one,may not work on the other.Also each child matures at a different rate.These things factor in. They are both outstanding men,and my oldest's wife,thanked me for raising him so well.He is respectful and caring of her needs,and very supportive to her. She said I did an awesome job on him. My youngest has not married yet.

We've had this very debate with close relatives. They swore they would never, ever hit a child. They swore that they had NEVER been spanked. Imagine the surprise when they were told they had indeed been spanked as a child.
Like many posters have said, small children don't have the capacity to reason and understand consequences. When I worked at the local hospital I saw the results of children who had been "told" not to touch the BBQ grill or the pan of boiling eggs on the stove---toddlers with horrific burns that have scarred them for a lifetime. One of those patients is an adult now and still wears long sleeves due to the scars on her arms. Soooo---would it have been better for that child to get a swat on the rear or the hand and not even remember the swat or suffer a lifetime because the parent had a whacky notion that a three year-old could understand consequences.
Our children don't remember being spanked because we didn't abuse them and if the correction begins early, spanking isn't required once they reach the age where they can reason.
Disciplining children is never easy but it is the right thing to do and if begun early it becomes easier as they grow up and understand the reasons. Trouble is, some people never grow up enough themselves to be able to reason with the children they produce.

Teaching a kid to deal with something they did wrong and life $hitting on them....That happens every day as an adult and kind words won't teach a kid a damn thing about life taking a large steaming pile of crap on them every day....Life lessons should be HARD

a reply to: Chrisfishenstein

LOL Needless to say,you were rejected for Poster Child for Corporal Punishment.

You say kids are willing to listen? Since when do kids listen? Mothers always screaming for little Johnny to stop what he is doing multiple times and then do the counting to 3 bs. One spank remedies that and begins to listen better. Most smacking is done when very young when listening and comprehension is not that great. All it takes is a tap on the wrist at that point. When they get older then you reason with them but even then some kids you can talk too were others do need to be spanked more.
As for working with other peoples kids you can't discipline them the same way you do your own.

originally posted by: Dimithae

Teaching a kid to deal with something they did wrong and life $hitting on them....That happens every day as an adult and kind words won't teach a kid a damn thing about life taking a large steaming pile of crap on them every day....Life lessons should be HARD

a reply to: Chrisfishenstein

LOL Needless to say,you were rejected for Poster Child for Corporal Punishment.

HAHA....It was an example, not reality! lol....The point being, you need to teach your kids and children cannot comprehend an adult conversation at a very young age...A well placed spank will let them know that minor pain caused is not something they like and it will be associated with the negative act they committed...As most of the posters here agree with me, I know I am not the minority here...Good parenting does what is needed to actually teach your kids valuable lessons, this doesn't include abuse but a minor spank along with a GOOD explanation of why it happened will go a really long way! A lot further than just a conversation because they don't understand everything you are trying to say..

i have two children one i have never had a reason to smack , ever; my younger child is a different person and has needed a smack on the ass every now and then. and i do not feel like i have done either of them a disservice or do i feel bad about smacking my child's behind I have also coached may children over the years and would never think to touch another person's child i left that up to the parents . a reply to: Realtruth

a reply to: Dimithae

I brought the topic up to stir a little emotions and find what people think the fine line actually is.

Some people do not know the difference between going over-board and being a good parent, with tough love lessons.

I think you are correct though there are lines to be drawn, and rules to follow if some type of hitting is going to take place.

Some parents lose control and do not know how hard they are hitting the child. And like you said never hit out of anger, excellent rule.

Some people know me on ATS and I was in law enforcement for a number of years. There were instances where we would get to the scene of a domestic violence incident, and find children battered.

What was interesting is the adults thought everything was ok, and that the level of physical abuse was normal. One little 3 year old girl had her pelvis dislocated from a butt spanking. Another young boy about 4 or so had a broken jaw from an open backhand, and a missing tooth.

Sometimes parents in the heat of the moment lose their abilities to reason, and this doesn't give way for level headed parenting.

A good parent should know when enough is enough, but in these two cases they were actually good parents that went to far.

I think what it comes down to is reasonable amount of force, so this would be the ultimate question.

What is reasonable?

never strike a child in anger, and if you ever hit a child in the face or hit them so hard that it causes bruising or more severe damage go get help for yourself a reply to: Realtruth

a reply to: chiefsmom

But I did try other punishments as well, so it wasn't the "go to" punishment.

My mother used to get the medical dictionaries and make me hold them up with my arms horizontal as long as I could. Every time my arms fell, she smirked and made me to it again to the point of severe exhaustion. She would laugh and belittle me (in a playful manner) and say, are you sure your not going to do that again?

As for hitting children, I will never. My father was a great example of what not to do in that regard. I've been jacked up, punched and pushed down a flight of stairs. I always failed to see what the "lesson" was he was actually teaching me.

The drinking eventually caught up with him and took his life.