When Hitting Someone Is OK

If you spank your child, then you lack respect for him/her. I have never been spanked, I have never hit anyone or hurt anyone intentionally. My kid has never been spanked, never been in a fight either. When he was smaller and doing something he shouldn´t, best way to contact child is kneel down face to face, look at his eyes and take his hands on yours and talk calmly and explain why he shouldn´t do that.

a reply to: Realtruth

I'm sure we all have our own ideas of what is reasonable.For me,when mine were young,it was enough just to swat hard enough to startle.It got their attention and they knew mom meant business at that point. Once they were older,it was only hard enough to sting.Just enough to cause discomfort for a few minutes,then gone. Anything else in my book is assault.

a reply to: Chrisfishenstein

You definitely have a point. Not all kids are the same. Peer pressure can change a good kid overnight. If they start hanging around with the wrong crowd, sometimes having a simple talk with them just doesn't change their destructive behavior.

a reply to: Realtruth

While i don't see spanking as on a par with punching someone, i see it as a sign of failure to deal with a problem on the part of the parent.

I was spanked various times as a kid, did me no harm etc.

Yawn, so what, doesn't make it right.

I'm a dad to a young son, never spanked him.

But to see some here suggesting that kids can't learn consequences, and that they are somehow inherently greedy and untrustworthy (that sweeties BS) is amazing to me.

I never had trouble teaching my kid, and him learning what is right and him processing that and making informed decisions, and then repeating those good choices.

I help my kid understand what happens, and why... and how that effects him and others around him - to give him understanding and the tools to deal with stuff in future.

Now obviously you know this... but wtf doesn't everyone else???

Good thread

a reply to: Chrisfishenstein

My father whopped my A$$$! When I was a kid and got too far out of line....

And to be honest I sure as hell did my share to press the envelope

But to the day he died me and my father were closer than any two men could be

Sure I went through a rebellious stage and we even went toe to toe on one occasion that I never forgave myself for

But that man was the best man at my wedding. And my best friend till the day he took his last breath

My father always measured his discipline w love and support

I'll never respect another man more than him and I'll never have another friend in this life that could even compare

So I don't want to hear how spanking your kids is abuse.

Sure beating your kids is bad. Punishment w no reward is the same

But also not doing what's necessary to make sure your child grows up w a sense of right and wrong and measured consequences is just as abusive

Several generations have been hanging on the tit and coddled too much hence so many of the issues we see

Spanking works if done correctly. Hitting to instill fear for future incidents is Gestapo Parenting.....A little levity for this thread.......Experts say never disipline a child out of anger....never spank your child when you are angry......That's why I saved all my arse whoopins for their birthdays!!! Wake em up and spank that arse. LOL.

a reply to: Rocker2013

My son age 3 never Been smacked or burnt and will not go near the cooker because he " doesn't want to go hospital " his words.

a reply to: Realtruth

Hi, I'm an Atheist M2F Cross-dresser in Hollywood. If anyone were to attack me, I would attack back... kicking with my high heel pumps and smacking with my black patent leather purse. It would be a trans-hater massacre. xoxo ami

originally posted by: dollukka
If you spank your child, then you lack respect for him/her. I have never been spanked, I have never hit anyone or hurt anyone intentionally. My kid has never been spanked, never been in a fight either. When he was smaller and doing something he shouldn´t, best way to contact child is kneel down face to face, look at his eyes and take his hands on yours and talk calmly and explain why he shouldn´t do that.

I respect my children and grandchildren a great deal and they respect me. Your method works wonderfully well with some children. Others? Not so well.
I have a niece and nephew who spent a great deal of time at my home when they were very young. They are nine years apart but raised by the same parents. The nephew is the older of the two and he never gave me the slightest reason to discipline him beyond scolding. But his younger sister was another kettle of fish! During her "terrible twos" she pushed everyone around her to the limit---until she had been spanked twice. And like other members of the family, she has no memory of ever being spanked. Recently she was telling her boyfriend about me threatening to "whip her butt" when she sassed her grandmother in my house. She was about 5 at the time I think. It was the speech I made to her about respecting her elders that she remembers and repeats to her teenaged friends even today.
I respect children in my care enough to discipline them. Life would be much easier if we just overlook bad behavior but the long term results of fair, reasonable discipline, including a swat on the butt or hand from time to time pays benefits for a lifetime. It is indeed wonderful that your son can understand and obey you but I assure you, every child is different.

Let me ask my 15 year old................................................................................................................................................... .........................................................................................................

He said...I don't think you ever spanked me.....

He must have PTSD with some buried memories...

a reply to: Realtruth

Yeah, it is called prison.

Sorry but your whole premise is garbage. So you coach kids and have never hit one, wow congratulations, you have no right at all to do so anyhow.

But something tells me that if it's a sport of any kind you may make your kids train, you know, experience the mild discomfort of muscle exhaustion. I suppose you buy them a trophy when they loose too? Or do you tell them to work harder and make them run some laps to prepare them for the challenges ahead.

What your post tells me is that you are a confused arrogant person who hides this from themselves guised as good intentions.

How do you even equate coaching kids to being a parent? The picture in the OP was intentionally there to mislead us and you have been back pedaling since you were surprised at the overwhelming responses to your bait post.

Nature knows better nearly all parents in the animal kingdom use mild physical reinforcement to prevent harm or bad habits in their children's lives. I'd like to see how fast you'd swat a kids hand away from a fire when you had less than 1 second to prevent serious injury, cause if you aren't willing to do that you don't deserve to be around children as you are no protector or gaurdian.

No one wants people running around causing real harm to children but a swat on the butt and tap on the back of a head, some push upsx or a two mile run in the rain go a long way to keeping a person grounded and humble.

originally posted by: Realtruth

originally posted by: Rocker2013

Kids do not respond to common sense and discussion, they cannot comprehend risk, it is your job to inflict minor discomfort when needed to maintain their safety and prevent more serious injury or even death.

Plenty of adults do not respond to common sense, so should we "inflict minor discomfort" on them too?

A man is holding you by the neck because he doesn't like the way you looked at him after becoming drunk. You can see his face has become ashen and his gums are white as blood has been diverted from his brain to the muscles in his body and he eyes are firmly fixed upon your face, you can tell he intends to beet the living day lights out of you and doesn't have the capacity to reason and is functioning entirely on a animalistic level. I'd say you have a pretty good reason for causing him minor discomfort.

However, in a less threatening vein. I have reached across the table to pinch food off my partners plate and she's given me a short sharp tap on the back of the hand, had she took the time to reason with me the whole plate would be devoured - at least a handful gone before the first syllable of my name uttered.

a reply to: Realtruth


Ummm...When your in the title bout and the purse is 300 million...

BAM...




YouSir

originally posted by: chiefsmom
a reply to: Chrisfishenstein

I have to agree with everything you said, with one little add.

My parents never spanked me IN ANGER, and I never spanked my sons in anger.
I always got, and gave an explanation for the spanking.

But I did try other punishments as well, so it wasn't the "go to" punishment.

All kids are different. Some things work for them, others don't.

Exactly.

Our son went through a phase where he decided it was appropriate to hit the other children at his daycare with toys when they angered him.

My husband and I worked closely with the daycare and tried several different approaches, but nothing worked. In fact, he escalated his behavior. Finally, we told him before he went to daycare that if he hit any of his friends with toys that day, the teachers at daycare would tell us, and he would receive one spank for each kid. He hit two children that day, and he got two spanks as soon as he got home with both my husband and I there to drive the point home to tell him it hurts others the same way when he hits them with toys.

He never hit anyone with a toy again.