Kitsunetsuki/Fox Spirit Possession: My Story

I am possessed. Inside me I harbor a vengeful spirit who tears my muscles, twists my bones and snaps my nerves.

And I am fine with it. I do not wish to seek out exorcism, whether it be in the Western or Eastern sense. Basically, I have come to aqcuaint my possession as similar to the relationship between Ryuuko Matoi and Senketsu from Kill la Kill.

I admit I am a mixed-up person, and I do have mental issues, but it does not explain the other sensations/things that are going on with me.

I have researched as best i could, without it raising suspicion on others thus leading further otracization from humanity. I wish to seek those who also walk the thin line between the realm of the gods and the human world.

There are going to be a few things that I bring up during my relation of events that have taken much courage to put down as they have caused pain.

All I ask is to read with an open mind and reserve judgement to the end.

[Cont. In next post]

I run with wolves but they know not to bite.... Running is good for you... And the animals..be they inside your or by your side as i like to keep mine... If you have animals inside you tearing up tendons and ripping up nerves, well youve seriously got a problem there toastman........ In the wise words of lil'wayne

"Got a problem, see a bout it"


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the lowdown

Before i begin, i guess i should give a few details about myself for the astrology minded members:
Dob- 11/16/1990
Western sign- Scorpio
Element- Water
Eastern Sign- Metal Horse

A Cat Bite and Strange coloured eyes
I became possesed sometime in 2009, but here I reflect upon 2 strange circumstances that happened prior. The first happened when I was young. My family used to live on a farm, which happened to have cats. One of these cats was a beautiful mother who I called Mama Zumee, of fur the color of light sand and vibrant green/yellow eyes. She was a very calm and friendly cat, letting me approach her even when she was nursing her many kittens. But one day, for a reason i can't remember, she bit me on the finger and drew blood. I apologised profusely to her, and instead of running away like most cats are wont to do, she approached me and licked the blood off, then proceeded to nuzzle me.

The second is the colour of my eyes, which makes it hard for me to fill out forms that require such information. On first glance, they seem to be hazel or brown, but then turn into a rare colour like green or gray...even yellow. Once a friend remarked to me that they were orange! What also happens is in certain light, a sheen happens where they take on a glow...it once scared my sister when it happened.

College, K, R, and the beginning of my troubles
Nothing else of supossedly supernatural note happened, unless you count the eye-thing, it's still going on.
I happened to get into a college just north of where I lived in 2009. After settling in my dorm, i decided to explore the town and some of the people, which led me to meeting a man I shall refer to as K.

I met him at the mall, where he worked at a store that sold assorted decorative items along with knives and swords. Having a liking for the latter, I decided to browse around. K and I started to chat up about Japanese weaponry and martial arts, which led to a friendship forming between us. Eventually, he invited me to his residence and even to his friend, R, who I ended up dating.

To this day, K is still a mystery to me, but I can still paint a picture of who he was on the outside: he was a courteous gentleman, about 4 years older than me. He was of Japanese/Chinese and Eastern European descent, and was strongly tied into the esoteric/mysticism. There was a darkside to him as well, that i wish not to go into, but led to my predicament.
[Cont. In next post]

Night
I remember lying in R's bed when it happened. He was in the living room watching Ninja Scroll...he hadn't come in because he was suffering from a flashback to his days in Afghanistan. It was midnight or so when I was suddenly shook awake by a presence, the room became colder. In the corner of the room I saw a shapeless mass, dimly lit by the screen light that shone in the doorway. The mass sat there as my eyes tried to adjust to get a good look, when it elongated and scurried up the wall. I could not move, as i was transfixed by the apparition, going from the wall to the ceiling.
It stops above my head and hangs there, sort of morphing into something akin to a medium sized wasp nest, slightly pulsing as it was breathing. There were no discernable feautures, like eyes or an arm/tentacle. Just a ball of something.

It stayed in that form for about a minute or so, until there was a loud noise, a clap of thunder or a gunshot almost. Suddenly the mass seemed to split apart, and something comes out...it happened so fast i can barely say what it looked like, but i feel it enter my body, surging me with such force. The last thing i remember is seeing slit-pupil eyes burn into my own before blacking out.

a reply to: TheToastmanCometh

I am possessed. Inside me I harbor a vengeful spirit who tears my muscles, twists my bones and snaps my nerves.

And this is acceptable to you? For 5 years this 'thing' has torn muscles, twisted bones and snapped nerves? You must realize how crazy that sounds Right?

Welcome to the club..I find the less you feed the being in question, the less it becomes a problem. Of course that won't make it go away but willfull ignorance can be blissful in these circumstances..personally I was being driven to madness with my own experiences until I suppressed them somewhat to a point where I can be at least somewhat "normal".

Truth be told however I cannot describe the feeling sometimes of wanting to be "taken over"..the energy that permeates, although negative, is so strong that it feels limitless..I'm sure you know what I mean if you are true to your word.

PS: as I write this I can hear strange noises outside my bedroom door and something is trying to communicate with me, so it's time to go back to suppression again..I'll just pretend that black shadowy mass in my room isn't there.

originally posted by: TheToastmanCometh
Night
I remember lying in R's bed when it happened. He was in the living room watching Ninja Scroll...he hadn't come in because he was suffering from a flashback to his days in Afghanistan. It was midnight or so when I was suddenly shook awake by a presence, the room became colder. In the corner of the room I saw a shapeless mass, dimly lit by the screen light that shone in the doorway. The mass sat there as my eyes tried to adjust to get a good look, when it elongated and scurried up the wall. I could not move, as i was transfixed by the apparition, going from the wall to the ceiling.
It stops above my head and hangs there, sort of morphing into something akin to a medium sized wasp nest, slightly pulsing as it was breathing. There were no discernable feautures, like eyes or an arm/tentacle. Just a ball of something.

It stayed in that form for about a minute or so, until there was a loud noise, a clap of thunder or a gunshot almost. Suddenly the mass seemed to split apart, and something comes out...it happened so fast i can barely say what it looked like, but i feel it enter my body, surging me with such force. The last thing i remember is seeing slit-pupil eyes burn into my own before blacking out.

so you feel like from that point on this thing has had a hold on you? do you feel it come and go or is it always there in the background? is it worse sometimes more than others? if so what would you say aggravates this thing?

do you think there is a tie in with the stray cat biting you? have you seen it again after that day?

i'm curious about all of this. i've had my share of experiences with negative/demonic entities but, this seems like something a little different. honestly, i've never heard of kitsunetsuki before.

in your first sentence all of the symptoms you list seem to be pretty painful and severe but, you're adamant about not getting it exorcised? is there a reason why? do you feel like you are benefiting from harboring this thing inside you?

a reply to: TheToastmanCometh

This sounds like mental illness im sorry your suffering sir or mam. I wish i could help

a reply to: TechniXcality

Sounds more like someone has been watching too much anime.

a reply to: TheToastmanCometh

In another thread you mentioned that no one would want to read about this,

I almost replied after I goggled the term to ask if you were possessed by a fox and that I guarantee many would find it interesting.

Your description of yourself and the conflicts you face sound all to familiar to my being.

I too believe I have a negative essence living in/with or around me that at times I hate to admit it give me a positive outcome in situations, however the bigger picture of my life has so many chapters left I believe and those positive outcomes from my negative side could simply be a deception to keep what I have inside me and not cleanse myself.

It doesn't look like the fox demon wants Toastman to come out and play.

a reply to: TheToastmanCometh

Sorry i kind of fell asleep before finishing...here we go:
Normalcy...?
that next morning, i wake up alright, just a little stiff, but i chalk it up to sleeping wrong. I brush off the event as a particularly realistic dream. Life went on as usual, until I began feeling intense bouts of anger and vengeful thinking, which was strange as I was normally an easy person and I don't hold grudges. I tamped down these feelings for a while until i began to hear a voice in my head not my own. It talked about destruction, contempt for humans, wishing to kill those who don't believe in the true gods of nature.
Scary, but I still shook it off, relating it to the stress school and eventually the toll of my fracturing relationship with R.
Then came the twitching. At first it started with my eye, then my arms, neck and legs. Luckily, it only happened during the night, so I wouldn't raise questions in class. But as each night passed, i started to feel sort of like a puppet being lifted, yet not quite controlled.

i also noticed that some of my senses became heightened: my hearing and eyesight sharper (despite wearing glasses), my smell picking up scents no othr person could detect. I began to hunger for fried noodles and tofu, both not possible on my meager budget, so i made do with what i had which was nasty ramen.

I decided to talk to K about what was happening, and understandably, he was worried. He quickly purified the house with sage, but it was too late for me. Whatever had come to me was fully bonded.

a reply to: Night Star

I lol'd good stuff.

Mental illness, or you're a closet furry whom watched too much anime, but dont worry,you can see on Tumblr to join the "Otrherkin" community.

a reply to: TheToastmanCometh
Very interesting!

Unfortunately, I understand the reluctance to exorcism (or even just...toning it down).
Mine began in the neck and shoulders...eventually demonstrating with my heart palpitating as if 2 or 3 hearts were in my chest. I was only frightened the first few times it happened. After a while, I enjoyed the massive 'beating' & pressures in the chest.
I won't go much further with it, now...but, thought a little levity might be in order...

Be Well & Stay Safe.

If the bible don't know a thing about no fox demon, then it ain't real.

I mean, the bible right every time.

a reply to: TheToastmanCometh

In the title you mention that you're possessed by a fox spirit but you don't mention anywhere how you came to the conclusion that it was fox spirit that possessed you and not any of the other hundreds of possible spirits that could be possessing you. Could you go into more detail on that?

Have you seen a doctor in case it's something having to do with your mental health?

I came across kitsune last year. But everytime i thought i knew what "it" was she changed into something else.



Some info from wiki.

Kitsune is the Japanese word for fox. Foxes are a common subject of Japanese folklore; in English, kitsune refers to them in this context.

Chinese folk tales tell of fox spirits called huli jing that may have up to nine tails, or Kyūbi no Kitsune in Japanese, or Hồ Ly Tinh in Vietnamese. Many of the earliest surviving stories are recorded in the Konjaku Monogatari, an 11th-century collection of Chinese, Indian, and Japanese narratives.

There is debate whether the kitsune myths originated entirely from foreign sources or are in part an indigenous Japanese concept dating as far back as the fifth century BC. Japanese folklorist Kiyoshi Nozaki argues that the Japanese regarded kitsune positively as early as the 4th century A.D.; the only things imported from China or Korea were the kitsune's negative attributes.

Foxes and human beings lived close together in ancient Japan; this companionship gave rise to legends about the creatures. Kitsune have become closely associated with Inari, a Shinto kami or spirit, and serve as its messengers. This role has reinforced the fox's supernatural significance. The more tails a kitsune has, they may have as many as nine, the older, wiser, and more powerful it is.

Stories depict them as intelligent beings and as possessing magical abilities that increase with their age and wisdom. Foremost among these is the ability to assume human form. While some folktales speak of kitsune employing this ability to trick others—as foxes in folklore often do—other stories portray them as faithful guardians, friends, lovers, and wives.

I did a ats search just now and found this reply in this thread, fox fire.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

In Japanese folklore, foxes are magical creatures.
They can shapeshift and can create intricate illusions.
Sometimes, they use their magic to create lights to confuse travelers who may come too close to their dens.
These travelers follow the lights, thinking that they are the torches of a town and wind up getting lost, being lured away from the fox dens.
There are lots of stories of foxes taking on the appearance of people who are lost and need to be escorted somewhere, only to confuse and befuddle their rescuers.
Sometimes, a fox spirit will possess someone and make them do silly, embarrassing things.
They're not so much bad or evil as they are practical jokers.
If you befriend a fox, it will usually stay with you for life, bringing you luck and protecting you from danger.

Might not be a mental illness or a bad thing op. What makes you sense it is a fox?

a reply to: Wifibrains

They're not so much bad or evil as they are practical jokers.
If you befriend a fox, it will usually stay with you for life, bringing you luck and protecting you from danger.

Did you not read where the OP mentioned that for 5 years this 'thing' has torn muscles, twisted bones and snapped nerves?