Between two worlds, no it's not easy

I have a lot of problems with the material world, lately, somehow it is not meant for me, I guess. Also I really suck at merging and compromising, because of my stupid "all or nothing" personality.
I currently live from kind family members and feel like #. Money and the thought of being bound to one place because I own sthg is just creepy. I am entirely not fit for surviving in terms of normal humans. I am super comfortable in beeing the lowest of the low, but at the same time I am wondering if that's not just childish? Defiance, for the sake of nothing real, or applyable. I was entertaining the idea to become a nun, but that just sounds like prison, and my picture of faith is somewhat spacy....
Life, huh? It's a disease we all share and it always ends deadly....