The Shed 2

a reply to: Night Star


Hi Night! I think the advice You gave True is right on the money! Especially this part;
" Be strong in yourself and hold on to what makes you happy." That makes good sense, to me anyway......

As far as me being happy upbeat and helpful, Umm it's because if I don't like almost force myself to be that way at times, anymore, I start to slide downhill..... And I don't want to be at the bottom of the hill. There is WAY TOO MUCH stuff down there, that it will weigh TOO MUCH and I won't be able to climb back up!! LOL!!!

originally posted by: Night Star
Oh...Cody, you look like hell! LOL

I'm sure you meant to say sexy as hell Night LOL

Cody

a reply to: Night Star

Well, I certainly cannot go about carrying hope all over the place. That stuff weighs more than lead, and is usually four times as bloody useless! But thank you for the wisdoms you impart Night Star! I always appreciate them!

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: Night Star

Well, I certainly cannot go about carrying hope all over the place. That stuff weighs more than lead, and is usually four times as bloody useless! But thank you for the wisdoms you impart Night Star! I always appreciate them!

Hope is actually weightless. It's when we attach expectations to it when it becomes a burden. I've pretty much stopped looking for a significant other over a decade ago. You know the saying, when you stop looking for love, it will find you. I must be hidden pretty well. If I do, or if I don't, I've come to grips with it. Loneliness I have found is a fairly fleeting feeling.

Life is daunting and concentrating on one thing is never good. Ya have to grab the whole ball of wax even though it is messy. But I guess we all have that one thing that we latch onto that weighs us down. In my case, it's family. Whenever I go to visit, I'm as anxious as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

You'll find that rocker chick eventually (or she'll find you). Beware though, she'll try to change you to fit her version of the guy she's looking for.

Cut your hair, Tru. Trim that beard, Tru. Turn down that music, Tru. Nag, Nag, Nag.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Morning shedpeeps!

I've been lurking furiously of late, and have been paying particular attention to True's current situation!

I've thought long and hard about it, and am maybe coming at it from a slightly different perspective, so I've been debating with myself over whether to post or not... anyways... here's my tuppence (2 cents) worth!

Everyone is shaped by their experiences.
No one goes through life without any good, or any bad experiences.
Life is a mixture, a hotch-potch.
We all have ups and downs (Yes, I know some have more ups than downs, and some more downs than ups!!) but the important thing IMHO, is HOW WE LEARN FROM and HOW WE USE those experiences.

No matter what lot in life we are given, it is important for our own self-preservation, development, happiness and health, that we make the best of it.
We cannot grow and develop and improve our lot if we don't learn from our mistakes (and our good decisions as well).

If certain situations prove to be bad for our well-being, then we should naturally gravitate towards avoiding them.
If certain people continually let us down or upset us, then we should avoid them.
If we keep falling for the "wrong type" of potential partner, we should learn to look deeper/further afield, broaden our net so to speak. Take a second look at someone we normally wouldn't consider for example.

I have known several people personally who seem like they are "stuck in a loop" when it comes to relationships.
But, crucially - they don't seem to be aware of it. They continually make the same mistakes over and over, and then blame the partners that they've chosen!
WE ALL CHOOSE who to be with. We go in with our eyes open. We decide, consciously or otherwise! who we commit to, so WE must bear some of the responsibility for when it all goes wrong.
There is NO WAY of telling whether someone we met is going to be THE ONE.
We have to trust our instincts, but what happens when our instincts have repeatedly let us down before? do we need to start applying other criteria?

Take for example the young lady who seemed interested in True a couple of weeks back.
Attractive? Interesting? Exciting? and seemingly Attracted, Interested etc too!
But apparently gets written off and pretty much "character assassinated" by most folks in the shed, because she later kissed a couple of other people? (Sorry if I've misinterpreted that???)

Lets just clarify a couple of things...
1. She had made no commitment, (that I'm aware of) to True or anyone else, so she can kiss who she wants in my book.
2. She may be Straight, Gay, Bi, Experimenting, into 3-somes.. whatever. That is completely up to her. Also fine in my book.

She is quite young, and may well just be exploring the limits of what appeals to her?
I personally would not write her off so quickly. She sounds confident, attractive and interesting to me, and if there is a suspicion of a "lack of commitment" from someone like that, then that's fine. Maybe someone in True's shoes doesn't need a high-commitment relationship at this time? (Given that he's still apparently hurting from being let down before)
Maybe a fun, flirty, low-commitment encounter would be just the ticket?

REAL, deep, meaningful relationships develop where they are often least expected.
It's when we deliberately go looking for them that they rarely work.

I don't get the impression that True is completely happy at the moment.
So, change the routine.
Mix it up a bit.
Choose something completely out of character to do. Try something that you've never ever even considered doing.
You'll challenge yourself, stretch yourself, meet people from outwith your current circle...
At worst it'll take your mind off things.
At best, it could open up a hundred doors for you. New people, new activities, new opportunities.

Break the cycle.

I shall now dismount from my horse on high!!
I really do wish you all the best, as we all do. I hope that I've not come across as too harsh or preachy??
(I can be a bit heavy-handed when I get a bee in my bunnet somethimes!!! LOL)

kindest regards
G

a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Hey Gord, Like you, I've debated whether to say something to Tru. Sometimes our experiences help, and other times they hinder others. All we can do is offer advice, based upon our own personal experiences and then it is up to the individual to take it or leave it. What ever fits them at the moment.

Your post is very well thought out and it rings true.

I wish Tru all the best in his journey through life.

a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Heh...

I hear what you are saying about the fact that the young lady had made no commitment.

I guess I am just a little to old fashioned to be able to accept that kind of behaviour from even a potential partner. Hell, I find it deplorable even when I have no interest in the people concerned! In my opinion, a kiss is no less intimate than intercourse, and should be reserved in the same fashion. I can understand and accept that not everyone thinks that way, but I have come to the understanding that I do not need to even consider anyone who thinks otherwise for a future relationship or any other damned thing.

Generally speaking, if I would not do it, then I would not want to be with someone who would! I have spent enough time in my life giving folk the benefit of the doubt, and continuing relationships with people who behave in ways I find troubling. Even if I had not of quit the entire thing for now, I think I will still be an awful lot more careful not to date folk who get themselves involved in that manner of behaviour, or anything that even reads like it.

I have had enough of the wrong kind of crazy. More than enough.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Having standards and ethics should be a source of strength, not a burden.

Being true to yourself is a good thing.

It can be annoying at times though.

Good Morning Shed! And Hello to the People in it! Hope Today goes well for You All!

a reply to: SyxPak

Good day to you Syx!

I wish the same for yourself and your good lady! How are you both?

a reply to: TrueBrit


Hi True! I am ok, so far, and CC is still in SleepVille. I'm up to be awake for a doc appt in a couple hours or so. I like to get my coffee working in me for a while before having to take care of business. MMmmm, Coffee, Coffee Good! LOL!!!

a reply to: SyxPak

Oh I know what you mean!

I wake up at six just to make sure I am functional by the time I get downstairs for work at eight thirty! If I have not had enough tea and preferably a read of a book by the time I start work, I feel as if I have cotton wool in my head rather than brains. I mean, people sometimes think that anyway, but them thinking it does not worry me as much as me FEELING it!

a reply to: TrueBrit

Tea for you and coffee for me. But speaking of books, I picked one up at the library the other day that is definitely making me think.

"WAR! What is it good for. (Conflict and Progress of civilization from Primates to Robots.)" by Ian Morris. He's a historian yet the reading is not that dry.

Great book so far. You can see that the author is clearly arguing with himself by looking at conflict and making good points from both sides of it. I love history and this is one of the few that I don't have to power through. He writes that well. I think you may enjoy it.

a reply to: TDawgRex

Sounds like an interesting tome to be sure!

I shall keep an eye out for that one in my local librarium, and bookstores!

After seeing what happened to me and a dear friend of mine who had the 'perfect' marriages for a while, I can only say it is a chance that people have to take. Many people who get divorced, you can understand why, you saw the signs all along and it was no big surprise. Some relationships last forever but that is a rare thing. I thought after 34 years, my marriage would certainly last forever but it didn't. There wasn't a doubt in my mind, there wasn't the slightest possibility that my marriage would fail. Yeah right. People sometimes change and that's what happened. He changed. So...it is just taking the chance that a relationship will last. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

You will know whether or not you want to take that chance True. Being so young, I still see you as eventually taking that chance. No matter the outcome, we will be here to share in your happiness, or help to pick up the pieces if you should fall.

Ooooh books! I read every day! I still have a pile waiting to be read after the series I'm reading right now.

Oh and Gordi...You look like hell! LOL What's with the Bieber avatars lately? UGH!

a reply to: Night Star

LOL
Just a bit of fun over on the Avatars thread.
My usual one shall return shortly!
G

a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

That was a fun day huh Gbro, bit of Beiber madness LOL.

Hi guys normal service has been resumed until I put up my Halloween avatar. If any of you want a thoroughly good read "Pillars of the earth" by Ken Follet comes right up in the 5 in my books.

Cody

originally posted by: cody599
a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

That was a fun day huh Gbro, bit of Beiber madness LOL.

Hi guys normal service has been resumed until I put up my Halloween avatar. If any of you want a thoroughly good read "Pillars of the earth" by Ken Follet comes right up in the 5 in my books.

Cody

Phew! Everything is normal and all is right in the world again.

There is funny and there is creepy and then there is Bieber. You guys crossed the line.

But yea, Pillars is a great read. Lots of drama. No way in hell would I pick that book up again though in my current state of mind. It'd hit to close to home.