Too spiritual to attract/pick up women?

This is related to another thread I created entitled "Sin and be popular, or be good and alone?".

I am extremely introvert. I totally feel that picking up women or attracting women is a low vibration thing. I don't know how to explain what I feel. I used to feel sad about being "low" among humans. Women are not attracted to my kind. But I have been thinking about the human evolution and I have actually come to view myself as having partly transcended nature. In evolution it seems to me that a man develops more and more of the traits that are desirable in nature. But then there is a shift and what comes after that appears from the frame of reference of those who have not passed that shift as being lower, but it is actually higher, it's where a part of you is above nature.

Well, THAT'S unique! If you truly were above such incredible base and low activities, you wouldn't still be thinking about it.

a reply to: introspectionist

I know it hurts you but you have to realise that you are trying to deflect the hurt into something you can use as an excuse as to why you can't find companionship. That's all this thread is I'm afraid. I've been where you are right now and as time goes on you become more and more desperate, you have to realise that this is what is causing you to be invisible to women.
Women are very intuitive with body language and non verbal communication and unfortunately you are screaming stay away from you somehow.
You need to take the focus on having female companionship out of your existence for a while, spend more time with good friends start looking for groups where you can interact with women in non scary situations. Also look into body language a lot of people aren't aware of their posture and the signals you are giving off.
Finally having all these negative emotions surrounding getting companionship will lower your vibrations so you will be spiritually vibrating lower until you resolve these issues.
I say all this with the utmost compassion and wish you all the best, take care.

maybe just lower your standards a bit when it come to woman. there aint something like a 100% what i like girl. we all have quirks. if you gonna wait for mrs or mr 100% right you gonna wait forever

Part of hooking up with a partner is growing yourself as individuals and as a unit..eventually forming a family, etc.
What your describing as "low vibrations" is actually of the highest...your just currently too selfish and scared (both low) to even consider progressing yourself up the chain so to speak.

As far as you feeling your way too spiritual -coughs- for relationships due to nobody attracted to you, well, just gonna say, there is someone out there for -everyone-. If you are seeking out that one in a million for you, well, there are 6000 more of those...so don't blame it on a lack of opportunity thing..its just lack of initiative.

And yeah, hard to take sage wisdom from a coward. Now go hang out at your local new age shop or church, whatever spiritual enlightenment you claim to have, and meet a like minded person for a drink or meditation circle...whatever you get up to in your spare time.

a reply to: introspectionist

But I have been thinking about the human evolution and I have actually come to view myself as having partly transcended nature. In evolution it seems to me that a man develops more and more of the traits that are desirable in nature. But then there is a shift and what comes after that appears from the frame of reference of those who have not passed that shift as being lower, but it is actually higher, it's where a part of you is above nature.

You sound like a sanctimonious snob and a little creepy. I don't think women find that attractive in a man.

EDIT:
I'm not saying that you ARE, I'm just saying that you should tone down the "partly transcended nature" bit because that's probably going to be IMMEDIATELY off-putting.

As a woman, I can tell you that what makes a man attractive to us (or at least somebody that we think about taking a chance on) is that he is really into us. Not in a creepy, stalky kind of way, but in a "I find you fascinating and I want to know more about you" kind of way. Sex should not enter into the equation at all if you're an introvert, until you're sure that she is into you as well.

Be confident in who you are, as well as accepting of yourself. If you cannot accept yourself, nobody else will, either. It's one of those things in life you have to learn. Don't wait for another human being to validate your worth....do it yourself.

Take it from a lifelong introvert who works with people all day long. Everybody is longing for connection and companionship. Sometimes it's a matter of finding somebody on the same vibration level as we are. I learned to reach out, respect, and listen to others. So many people are desperate to be heard.

So, rather than sitting alone and assuming that you think that women "don't like your kind", you should be thinking about being a gentleman to every woman you meet. Smile, look her in the eye (don't eyeball the body), say hello, and try to act confident. Every time you go to a store, to work or to school, be a gentleman, and go about your business. The worst thing you can do is sit back and feel rejected because it's not happening for you right now. Reach out, be kind, be a good listener, and know your own worth as a human being.

All life is risk. If you don't risk rejection, you will never end up with anybody. PS...stay away from bars and clubs. Concentrate on improving yourself, be a good guy, and some day, somebody will cross your path and you will know it is right.

You need to get help with your autism.

What kind of professional help are you getting?

Jesus, life's hard enough if you're normal...

originally posted by: FissionSurplus
As a woman, I can tell you that what makes a man attractive to us (or at least somebody that we think about taking a chance on) is that he is really into us. Not in a creepy, stalky kind of way, but in a "I find you fascinating and I want to know more about you" kind of way. Sex should not enter into the equation at all if you're an introvert, until you're sure that she is into you as well. .

Sounds interesting where I live the kind of cars I drive and where I live seem to do the trick of picking up women just fine and they want to stick around long after I've lost interest.

OP if you want girls you need to come at them with money...Women/girls will fight me tooth and nail on this one but it's the truth. I don't care what they say. No matter her educational background or her ability to make her own or how spiritual introverted she is. Once they see money they're yours - Not only for the materialistic aspects of it but also for the sense of security they feel they will have around you. We do not hunt anymore we buy. If I can buy her something akin to early mans parallel of bringing home the days hunt then they're yours. Sure having a sense of humor and that stuff helps but money rules the laws of attraction in today's world.

Now before some of you women/men come at me with pitch forks let me make it clear..Financial security makes us all feel safe and with financial security normally comes a level of personal growth maturity. That confidence that women speak of as being so attractive is code for "he's a stable man able to take care of his own and it shows and he knows it"...That comes with money sorry to make it so black and white.

If you don't believe me tell me the last time you saw an unattractive old overweight man with a stunningly beautiful woman as their mate that wasn't in charge of their finances?

The council on devils advocacy has spoken.

Hey Bro...

Women want a man.

Somebody that will defend her honor and your own.

Put you nicest pair of big boy pants on and actually leave the house.

You sound like you are in pain...Nothing a good roll in the hay couldn't fix.

I may of totally misread your OP. If I did. It wouldn't be the first time.

...or maybe your attitude is due to you not having passed that shift? You say I have a number of negative traits but how do you know it's not just how it appears from your frame of reference? And I'm not saying any of these things to be arrogant, only as hypotheses. Look at your own posts and see if you can't see a touch of defensiveness in the attitude. Whereas I merely posted a topic to be discussed. The reason I bring up the subject is because I just came back from hanging out with a group of extrovert men in a setting with a lot of women and alcohol. I notice how this kind of men view me as weak and feminine. I'm not offended. Nor am I offended by anything in this thread. And when I was hanging out with those men I had a feeling of detachment the whole time. I felt as if God put me in that situation as a kind of ordeal to enlighten me. I really am grateful for the fact that I have grown increasingly detached from the world. I think it has a lot to do with my meditation that I began to do daily quite recently.

originally posted by: introspectionist
...or maybe your attitude is due to you not having passed that shift? You say I have a number of negative traits but how do you know it's not just how it appears from your frame of reference? And I'm not saying any of these things to be arrogant, only as hypotheses. Look at your own posts and see if you can't see a touch of defensiveness in the attitude. Whereas I merely posted a topic to be discussed. The reason I bring up the subject is because I just came back from hanging out with a group of extrovert men in a setting with a lot of women and alcohol. I notice how this kind of men view me as weak and feminine. I'm not offended. Neither am I offended by anything in this thread. And when I was hanging out with those men I had a feeling of detachment the whole time. I felt as if God put me in that situation as a kind of ordeal to enlighten me. I really am grateful for the fact that I have grown increasingly detached from the world. I think it has a lot to do with my meditation that I began to do daily quite recently.

The sooner you realise that as a spiritual creation, you are connected to everyone and that your sense of detachment is a defence produced by your ego the better.

a reply to: introspectionist

You sound very intelligent.

Maybe try to not look at it so deeply.

Put yourself in different situations.

Being single is a game. When you quit looking that's when it will happen.

You will meet your best friend.

a reply to: schuyler

I still have sexual desire. But I have very little of that energy to reach out to other people that others seem to have and I seem to have less sexual desire than many other men. I'm 29 now and I remember having much sexual desire when I was about 21. I sit in my own universe light years away from others. Kind of like being stoned can be sometimes.

"ground control to major Tom"

originally posted by: introspectionist
a reply to: schuyler

I still have sexual desire. But I have very little of that energy to reach out to other people that others seem to have and I seem to have less sexual desire than many other men. I'm 29 now and I remember having much sexual desire when I was about 21. I sit in my own universe light years away from others. Kind of like being stoned can be sometimes.

"ground control to major Tom"

Brother if you're only 29 and already starting to feel low sexual appetite and desire you don't need a forum you need a gym. Get out there man...

a reply to: cyberheater

Maybe but I think the ego enlightens you. The detachment might very well have come about as a result of a big ego but I think the detachment is very positive. I used to take women's rejection to heart much more. Today I feel more blessed the bigger assholes people are to me. My boss was quite an asshole to me recently and today I see through the hurt in myself and see that his behavior stems from fear and hurt on his part. With the detachment from the lower self, and then viewing the world from the perspective of the higher self instead, comes liberation from the ego and all the negative things that are connected with the ego. I still hurt but I much sooner become more mindful, and get a higher level of mindfulness than before.

It seems to me that you have surpassed a great level of attachment to this reality, which is an aspect of Higher Consciousness. Take Buddhist Monks for instance, they practice abstinence from all worldly pleasure in order to remain untainted by the desires civilization casts upon others to remain pure in accordance with serving to end the cycles of reincarnation.

There is more self-work for you to accomplish though, I see you have come to the point of detachment from others but you have yet to detach from the concept of separateness/the individual. Stay faithful and know that you are not alone on your journey. Just posting on this forum has led you to a greater understanding even if you haven't perceived it yet, though I perceive you are already aware of this.

Eric

a reply to: Justwatchingyou

Interesting post. Seems to support my hypothesis.

Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions. Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

There seems to be something inherently sinful about picking up women and might also be something inherently sinful about being an extrovert.

A number of interesting things in this context:

- en.wikipedia.org...

- Asperger's is very high in east Asia, and Jews are the group with the highest rate of Asperger's

- The phenomenon of the "forever alone" seems to exist only in so-called developed nations.

a reply to: introspectionist

It sounds like you are detaching and fragmenting yourself because you have a hard time coping with reality. It does not sound healthy. If people are being mean to you then that is a issue with yourself relative to being assertive. There are courses and self help books that can help you there.
I would also consider seeking professional help. A good therapist would help to put a lot of this into perspective.

It sounds to me that you haven't got the emotional and social tools developed to communicated and work with other people in a equal and rewarding relationship. You will need to figure out how to do this. The first thing is communication. Speak to family and friends about your issues and concerns and start going to places were you can develop these skills. Maybe church or doing voluntary work somewhere.

You need to get this idea out of your head that you are spiritually above folk and that's why you can't deal with them. The highly spiritual people that I've met have all been extremely grounded and at ease speaking with folks. They radiate inner peace and calm and the smile that they carry on their face comes from inner contentment.
You on the other hand sound bitter and fed up.

Only you can turn your life around. Get out there and start relating to people.

originally posted by: cyberheater
a reply to: introspectionist

It sounds like you are detaching and fragmenting yourself because you have a hard time coping with reality. It does not sound healthy. If people are being mean to you then that is a issue with yourself relative to being assertive. There are courses and self help books that can help you there.
I would also consider seeking professional help. A good therapist would help to put a lot of this into perspective.

It sounds to me that you haven't got the emotional and social tools developed to communicated and work with other people in a equal and rewarding relationship. You will need to figure out how to do this. The first thing is communication. Speak to family and friends about your issues and concerns and start going to places were you can develop these skills. Maybe church or doing voluntary work somewhere.

You need to get this idea out of your head that you are spiritually above folk and that's why you can't deal with them. The highly spiritual people that I've met have all been extremely grounded and at ease speaking with folks. They radiate inner peace and calm and the smile that they carry on their face comes from inner contentment.
You on the other hand sound bitter and fed up.

Only you can turn your life around. Get out there and start relating to people.

I assure you he is on the path to reasserting himself into society. I was at his perception level at one point on my path and afterwards made the realization that I unknowingly detached myself from reality in order to re-assess my self without the interference of others. The thought of others bothering me drove me to feel ill towards them because I felt that they were holding me back from realizing my Self. After finding that inner peace and balance I came to the realization that the negativity that I saw in others was merely a reflection of the negativity I saw in myself. Once my mind grasped this I broke free from detachment and reinserted myself back into society with so much love and acceptance of others because I had truly found myself and because of that discovery I found everyone else and the oneness that binds us.