Too spiritual to attract/pick up women?

originally posted by: EviLCHiMP

originally posted by: cyberheater
a reply to: introspectionist

It sounds like you are detaching and fragmenting yourself because you have a hard time coping with reality. It does not sound healthy. If people are being mean to you then that is a issue with yourself relative to being assertive. There are courses and self help books that can help you there.
I would also consider seeking professional help. A good therapist would help to put a lot of this into perspective.

It sounds to me that you haven't got the emotional and social tools developed to communicated and work with other people in a equal and rewarding relationship. You will need to figure out how to do this. The first thing is communication. Speak to family and friends about your issues and concerns and start going to places were you can develop these skills. Maybe church or doing voluntary work somewhere.

You need to get this idea out of your head that you are spiritually above folk and that's why you can't deal with them. The highly spiritual people that I've met have all been extremely grounded and at ease speaking with folks. They radiate inner peace and calm and the smile that they carry on their face comes from inner contentment.
You on the other hand sound bitter and fed up.

Only you can turn your life around. Get out there and start relating to people.

I assure you he is on the path to reasserting himself into society. I was at his perception level at one point on my path and afterwards made the realization that I unknowingly detached myself from reality in order to re-assess my self without the interference of others. The thought of others bothering me drove me to feel ill towards them because I felt that they were holding me back from realizing my Self. After finding that inner peace and balance I came to the realization that the negativity that I saw in others was merely a reflection of the negativity I saw in myself. Once my mind grasped this I broke free from detachment and reinserted myself back into society with so much love and acceptance of others because I had truly found myself and because of that discovery I found everyone else and the oneness that binds us.

Absolutely. The ego has a hard time understanding that.

a reply to: introspectionist

As I said in my post I only come to you with compassion and respect so there was no defensiveness in my post I truly want to help you. From your post you say that these extrovert men view you as weak and feminine and they are only coming to these conclusions based on your body language, you don't need to be physically strong to appear strong, it's all in the way you carry yourself. Here's a very simple but effective video about body language ignore the alpha/beta nonsense but see how a simple change of posture can turn you from a bumbling meek Clark Kent to Superman.



You also sound as if you are not confident and feel increasingly detached from the world but it has nothing to do with your meditation it's because you have a negative outlook on the rest of humanity. You have already excluded women as shallow and only interested in "sinners" and you can't relate to extrovert men so that only leaves introverts which is where you feel most comfortable because they are just like you.
The further you move away & exclude parts of humanity from your life, the less spiritual you will become i'm sorry to say. It's because you can't relate to these people that you need to study and understand them better because the only way you will spiritually grow is to have compassion and understanding when dealing with your fellow man, even if they can't afford you the same respect back.
And never elevate yourself above anyone in your mind as that is spiritually bad, we are all the same but on different levels on our path, judgement is not our job and we should never judge anyone as they might have to go through these experiences to grow on the spiritual level. And the greatest strength of all is forgiveness, not only forgive others for the hurt they have caused you but forgive yourself for allowing these people to hurt you. God bless.

originally posted by: cyberheater

originally posted by: EviLCHiMP

originally posted by: cyberheater
a reply to: introspectionist

It sounds like you are detaching and fragmenting yourself because you have a hard time coping with reality. It does not sound healthy. If people are being mean to you then that is a issue with yourself relative to being assertive. There are courses and self help books that can help you there.
I would also consider seeking professional help. A good therapist would help to put a lot of this into perspective.

It sounds to me that you haven't got the emotional and social tools developed to communicated and work with other people in a equal and rewarding relationship. You will need to figure out how to do this. The first thing is communication. Speak to family and friends about your issues and concerns and start going to places were you can develop these skills. Maybe church or doing voluntary work somewhere.

You need to get this idea out of your head that you are spiritually above folk and that's why you can't deal with them. The highly spiritual people that I've met have all been extremely grounded and at ease speaking with folks. They radiate inner peace and calm and the smile that they carry on their face comes from inner contentment.
You on the other hand sound bitter and fed up.

Only you can turn your life around. Get out there and start relating to people.

I assure you he is on the path to reasserting himself into society. I was at his perception level at one point on my path and afterwards made the realization that I unknowingly detached myself from reality in order to re-assess my self without the interference of others. The thought of others bothering me drove me to feel ill towards them because I felt that they were holding me back from realizing my Self. After finding that inner peace and balance I came to the realization that the negativity that I saw in others was merely a reflection of the negativity I saw in myself. Once my mind grasped this I broke free from detachment and reinserted myself back into society with so much love and acceptance of others because I had truly found myself and because of that discovery I found everyone else and the oneness that binds us.

Absolutely. The ego has a hard time understanding that.

I wholesomely agree my friend! Great perception!

a reply to: EviLCHiMP

I agree also I was in a very similar position at exactly his age and it's actually very common, it may seem catastrophic at the time but in a few years you will see that it helped you grow spiritually. The only caution I would use with his post is that he is feeding delusions as a construct to protect the ego and if this goes unchallenged can become an issue. We are all on different spiritual paths and that at your point in your path you may be ahead of others but just like real life, wisdom comes with age and we shouldn't look down on the younger spiritual brothers and sisters.

originally posted by: introspectionist
...or maybe your attitude is due to you not having passed that shift? You say I have a number of negative traits but how do you know it's not just how it appears from your frame of reference? And I'm not saying any of these things to be arrogant, only as hypotheses. Look at your own posts and see if you can't see a touch of defensiveness in the attitude. Whereas I merely posted a topic to be discussed. The reason I bring up the subject is because I just came back from hanging out with a group of extrovert men in a setting with a lot of women and alcohol. I notice how this kind of men view me as weak and feminine. I'm not offended. Nor am I offended by anything in this thread. And when I was hanging out with those men I had a feeling of detachment the whole time. I felt as if God put me in that situation as a kind of ordeal to enlighten me. I really am grateful for the fact that I have grown increasingly detached from the world. I think it has a lot to do with my meditation that I began to do daily quite recently.

My husband of 25 years sounds like you. He always hung out with the girls in High School and was always a friend but never a boy friend. He is sweet and kind, loves nature and is gentle!

I admire my husband, he is really not the average... got to look tough and kill something, get drunk and act fowl, hoot at the woman and use the crummy word "Hot" everytime he sees a woman in a tight outfit...I RESPECT my husband.

If you have an interest, like nature, you mention meditation, maybe you could find a group doing something in that line and meet someone who already likes the things you do. I met my husband at work, we both prefer to stay at home and read, talk, garden and watch a movie together, instead of bars, noise and people acting stupid. we hike, bike and camp together among other things.

Be who you are, don't ever let anyone tell you you are not great as you are and there are a ton of women out there who would love to know you...I might drop the idea of "pick up" rather "meet" and get to know and that leads to lasting love.

a reply to: CJCrawley

Jesus, life's hard enough if you're normal...

And how would you know that?

originally posted by: mclarenmp4
a reply to: EviLCHiMP

I agree also I was in a very similar position at exactly his age and it's actually very common, it may seem catastrophic at the time but in a few years you will see that it helped you grow spiritually. The only caution I would use with his post is that he is feeding delusions as a construct to protect the ego and if this goes unchallenged can become an issue. We are all on different spiritual paths and that at your point in your path you may be ahead of others but just like real life, wisdom comes with age and we shouldn't look down on the younger spiritual brothers and sisters.

Exactly! I have made this mistake too, and honestly I still make it every now and then. The ego is extremely tricky but with wisdom and self restraint of reacting on it one may overcome it. Cheers my friend!

a reply to: EviLCHiMP

Once my mind grasped this I broke free from detachment and reinserted myself back into society with so much love and acceptance of others because I had truly found myself and because of that discovery I found everyone else and the oneness that binds us. -

How do you avoid that constant push everyone around you directs at you to conform,(or did you?) to wear the styles, to laugh when it is the proper accepted time and to frown at what you are told to frown upon?
I found it impossible. I am not and will never be a part of the whole that I see around me, I see it all from apart, I am lucky enough to have another outsider as a husband.

a reply to: introspectionist

Today I feel more blessed the bigger assholes people are to me.

Feeling blessed for being persecuted? You can see how this might be understood as masochism can't you? " Ouch.Thank you God, may I have another? OuchThank you God may I have another? " Who am I to say.

While detachment is heralded by some as a vital aspect of ones path to enlightenment, it is the wise man who understands it's twin. Detachment which has us ending up in a small dark corner babbling to ourselves.

It may be, as I suspect you suspect, that we are living in a time of potentially great spiritual transformation. This may be. It may be like no other time in human history. It may be a time where all the guidelines and strictures of the past slough off from those who seek this transformation.

I did have one more thing to add, but as I may be in rapid transformation myself, I have forgotten what it was and so shall end with this.

a reply to: introspectionist

As long as you have the attitude that to meet women is to "pick them up"...theres your problem. How you are, the way you are...introvert or not...there all kinds of women for all kinds of men.

But, you need to rethink your interpretation of the process. At least that's how I immediately took your thread.

a reply to: Char-Lee

I think it just comes from understanding, the way I see it is that we are all loving spiritual beings but we are also products of our environment. The key is not to let the environment affect our spirit. With regards to conforming it's not about conforming to a certain group but finding the group that is more compatible to you. I know I'm being a broken record here but don't dislike or hate those who are different just understand they are not compatible with the life path you want to be on and move on.
I've had many great friends who have taught me lots on my path but who are no longer friends or our paths no longer cross because at my point in this journey I needed to move on.

Well, I can relate. My whole life I've felt a tad like an anthropologist in the field and the common mating ritual is weird... but the natives know a thing or two and trying it out is kinda fun.

originally posted by: Char-Lee
a reply to: EviLCHiMP

Once my mind grasped this I broke free from detachment and reinserted myself back into society with so much love and acceptance of others because I had truly found myself and because of that discovery I found everyone else and the oneness that binds us. -

How do you avoid that constant push everyone around you directs at you to conform,(or did you?) to wear the styles, to laugh when it is the proper accepted time and to frown at what you are told to frown upon?
I found it impossible. I am not and will never be a part of the whole that I see around me, I see it all from apart, I am lucky enough to have another outsider as a husband.

To be completely honest I asserted myself to them openly. I let those who didn't respect my choices and beliefs judge me and move on with their lives and the ones that accepted me stayed by my side. That's the only way I have been able to keep the love strong in my heart, you can't fear the judgement of others because they are no different than you, no better, no worse, just living in accordance to their own beliefs and opinions.

Those who are like you will naturally find their way into your life, I can attest this as true. Assert your opinion and allow others to voice there criticism, they will only drag you down if you take people personally and the ones who agree with you will find bonds with you and want to be in your life.

I figured this out firstly by observing successful people. As I watched them I saw how they asserted themselves, never backing down from what they believe in and just shrugging off the naysayers. These kinds of people only focus on their strengths and use those strengths to build character, they don't care if others think they are wrong because they know others have their own lives to tend to.

In this world their are lovers and haters, we all just have to do whats best for ourselves and assert our dominance not over others, but over ourselves. This kind of action will undoubtedly enrich your life.

originally posted by: mclarenmp4
a reply to: Char-Lee

I think it just comes from understanding, the way I see it is that we are all loving spiritual beings but we are also products of our environment. The key is not to let the environment affect our spirit. With regards to conforming it's not about conforming to a certain group but finding the group that is more compatible to you. I know I'm being a broken record here but don't dislike or hate those who are different just understand they are not compatible with the life path you want to be on and move on.
I've had many great friends who have taught me lots on my path but who are no longer friends or our paths no longer cross because at my point in this journey I needed to move on.

LOL I just literally re-explained your post over again but in my own words!

a reply to: EviLCHiMP

Cool, so that means I['m not the only crazy one. You explained it much more eloquently than I could.
You need these crises to grow spiritually. I've still got quite a few to go but once you work through these it does give you a greater understanding and empathy towards others.

a reply to: introspectionist
It sounds like you are okay with it and not complaining so good for you. I feel you are just sharing a perspective and not 'crying' about it. The pursuit of happiness does not have to include others all the time. I am in a similar state of hermitage myself, gratefully so. Years ago my spiritual pursuits took me through Buddhism and Taoism. I grew up as a Christian, but now I select little gems from each religion and apply them in a broader and more open spiritual sense. People always ask me why I don't date and I have thought about it and just feel I am somewhat monk-ish, and have transcended carnal desire for the most part. Granted I still have urges and desire, but I do not allow them to control my thoughts/actions. I wanted to continue developing myself and live life unattached for a while and it has been great!

Honestly, I have been through some bad relationships as well that have soured my faith in companionship, but that's okay as long as one is happy and healthy. I have seen couples fight and appear miserable in their relationships. Sometimes I feel that picking a partner for life is not how we are wired these days. Perhaps we are better off to have numerous relationships throughout our lives, and if that one special person does come along, then wonderful, but settling for less is not good for me. I have not renounced dating all together forever, but I am not lonely and trying to find a girlfriend either. If it happens it will, if not I will continue to pursue my interest and curiosities in this life. When I do decide to actively date again, there are plenty of ladies out there so it's all good in my book.

Peace

originally posted by: mclarenmp4
a reply to: EviLCHiMP

Cool, so that means I['m not the only crazy one.

You explained it much more eloquently than I could.
You need these crises to grow spiritually. I've still got quite a few to go but once you work through these it does give you a greater understanding and empathy towards others.

lol! Thank you my friend!

a reply to: introspectionist

Maybe one day you will find a spiritual woman, or a woman with an awakened mind who's attracted to your ways.

Mind, body and spirit should all be in balance, is my advice.
Everytime I've met someone special, all three were in balance and after that it
was just a matter of ferimones. Your "balance" is what projects the most and that
will be percieved by those who are good matches for you.

Introspectionist. For me it depends on what you want to experience and with who.

For myself I want the true twin flame experience and everything else is just not worth the effort, the heart wants what the heart wants. Some lives will be like that and you will feel a disconnect between yourselves and others. I feel more comfortable among the ones who have greater empathic abilities and have had spiritual experiences than with people who are very low vibe.

And that is the funny thing about duality. Even if we know that non duality is the goal, many people have not taken many steps on that road and therefore a duality appear between those who walk the path and those who do not.

Many people here seem to complain that you are the problem not the people around you. In fact from my point of view it is a combination of both. There is a reason some people become monks and remove themselves from the people who had not had experiences to be able to grow and have peace. Sometimes the problem is not on the sending end but on the receiving end.

But if you are higher vibe then you might be able to manipulate the field around you to get what you are after or just wait until you are in a spot to receive it.

Hopefully you are already at a level where you can feel the love from home physically in your body to counter the feeling of loneliness. Namaste