Questions about MKultra Divisions, researchers, and the like.

reply to post by Onesmartrat


It seemed to me that Alice was saying that you showing up here was a coincidence but a handy one as she was describing the type of behaviour you exhibit and then here you are to illustrate the point. Seems a happy accident to me.
BTW You paint a vivid picture of the point she was making. LOL.

reply to post by spearcarrier


Am I supposed to laugh here? I don't know. I kind of feel the way you might walking across someone's grave. Not really sure if it's ok or if I'm disturbing the dead.

reply to post by spearcarrier


Ah but you could be the viceroy. Mimic the monarch appearance to avoid being eaten . Perfectly illustrates that image is important.

reply to post by AutumnWitch657


Oh I see...well I guess now you are feeling abused by my posts too?

Well...aren't YOU the one who brought up Robert Ludlum or was that another poster?

I would imagine you have no idea where he got his source material for his novel THE BOURNE IDENTITY do you?

No...I bet not.

But you' re right to jump in on the gang bang crew that seems to have free reign here because it just feels so good to harrass and marginalize another victim....ahhhhh....there now you can too stop reading my posts if you think your pal here is so right about me.

But frankly....its kinda getting old kicking the same old dog isn't it ? So if you feel so abused as your friend does from interacting with me online than stop participating in your own abuse and please just skip my posts...okay?

Thanks for sharing...keep NOT coming back!

Have a lovely day Autumn Witch!

Pro-Libertate!

-OSR

reply to post by WhiteAlice


I know right... talk about comprehension problems. I just laughed and figured you'd be along to defend yourself so I didn't bother. But the urge to point out the obvious was so strong I actually pulled up the post screen then hit the back button and left it alone.

reply to post by WhiteAlice


A minor correction. There are a few things that humans fear without conditioning and loud noise is one of them . That comes under instinct. Everyone reacts to it. Falling is another natural fear not a conditioned one. There are only a few and I can't recall them now. All other fears are learned. Like fearing a hand raised in front of you. When I see a child or animal cringe to a raised hand it tells me a lot about that person's or that animals personal experiences.

reply to post by Onesmartrat


Sybils mother was schizophrenic. The abuse was horrific not only physically but emotionally as well.
Still I have a hard time believing that level of fragmentation as did psychiatrists of the time and even now. How much of Sybil Dorset was the creation of her doctor who was looking to make a name for herself . Women in that field were rare at that time.

reply to post by kwakakev


Getting back to what I was discussing relevant to your inquiry regarding both the subject of integration and how emotions play a role in both programming and subsequent recovery.

I will talk about integration first because the emotional aspect is complex and getting it into means getting into techniques and that involves another part's (alter's) dialogue that I have no time for right now.

Anyway...here's a thought for you on this issue. Years ago I recall seeing a film titled "Children of a Lesser God" ...it was based on a stage play of the same nane. The story involved a rebellious woman at a boarding school for the deaf and hearing impared. Theres a new teacher and pf course they have to get into a love affair....which really is just the vehice for the film's message which actually was quite relevant to the then controversy within the Deaf Population at the time. Should soneone who is hearing impaired or actually deaf from birth take advantage of new technology that can be surgicalically implanted to make them into a 'normal' person who can hear?

The protagonist in the film played extremely well by deaf actress Marilee Martin took that stance that being born deaf was NOT a disorder and that trying to "make the deaf into some one else's idea of 'normal' was not only wrong...but abusive and morally reprehensible.

What this character in this film and many in the Deaf Community were saying was that being deaf was a part of who they were and their lives were not necessarily destroyed by it but rather enhanced in a way that the hearing could never experience and who were these people who kept telling them they were 'disabled' by it and should strive to get their hearing restored so they could be 'like everyone else'...which is essentially impossible because of who they were and WHO they were was BECAUSE they had been born deaf and had had that life experience and that life experience was just as valid and meaningful as a hearing individual.

They put the whole idea of being comfortable of who they were instead of striving after some idea of what's 'normal' or trying to become something you are not on its head and challenged the prejudicial ...and ignorant thinking of the so-called mainstream conventional mindset about who us handicap vs. who isn't.

The film illustates this beautifully.

This is the same way I see it with Monarch Multiples...who may have gotten to be that way by nefarious means but who in themselves are not flawed or broken just because they are Multiples....programming and enslavement aside....of course the idea of getting free of that is a move toward healing and freedom...but the idea that there is something wrong with the Multiplicity itself and they should strive to be something they never were and thus never really 'return to' but end up getting caught in a perennial illusory search for this so-called 'oneness' they deem so valuable a goal...through some theorhetical idea of the concept of 'integration' seems very denegrating and wrong morally if not pragmatically. And As I said it reminds me of the same situation occurring within the Deaf Community a few years back when that film came out.

I hope that helps give you at least a different perspective on it than you will find in here. Its essentially about coming to terms with who you are and embracing it...rather than rejecting it and living in denial thinking about becoming something...somebody else's idea of 'normal'...! I found this approach to be a much more expedient and successful approach in my own case and with many
Monarch Multiples I have worked with over the years.

Pro Libertate!

-OSR

reply to post by Onesmartrat


There were no ifs about her ignoring your posts. It was a simple declarative statement. So no adjustment in behavior on your part is required or desired if I read her statement correctly.

reply to post by Onesmartrat


No I don't feel abused at all. Yes it was me who made the Ludlum reference. It all sounds so cloak and dagger to me.
I am very interested in seeing how this plays out.

I would not have made the Ludlum reference if I didn't see the connection. Wouldn't you imagine that I'd have read his books since I made the reference ?

reply to post by Onesmartrat


Do you actually read what you write? I don't feel abused but it's obvious to me that in your paranoid state you feel like you're getting ganged up on. And delusions of grandeur make you think that I'm taking your posts to heart when in reality I view this as a source of entertainment.


Pro friggin liberati

reply to post by Onesmartrat


I actually saw the play starring Marlee Maitlin. NY about 1988.

Marlee has actually lived the message of that play/movie by becoming a star in her own right. There's a real life message if ever there was one.

reply to post by AutumnWitch657


Are you her sock puppet or what? You really must have have an inordinate amount of time on your hands to be roaming around in here answering for other people...is that it?

I asked you a question in my previous post to YOU....but instead of engaging in intelligent dialogue you continue to banter on responding to me about things I said to other people and what they REALLY meant when they said things to me. What do gain from this....??? Drama? Thread derailment....gratuitous pleasure.....loyalty strokes from your pals....your masters????

What exactly?

Your cricticize MY so-called behavior....but look at your own....how constructive is it to the topic at hand.....what are you adding here to a most serious and important subject?

If you and your pals here are so intimidated...annoyed...fearful....indignant....repressed or whatever by my posts....don't read them.I understand what is going on here better than you know....but I will not be gang- stalked or bullied off this site....by you...your pals here or anyone else. I have a right to say what I have to say and how I say it....and if you or your crew here don't agree with it that's fine....saying it once is enough but this crap has gone on long enough and you are taking on the role of the very same kind of behavior of people you all complain victimized you...haranging and bullying...like I need you to interpret for me what someone else said....and of course that seems to imply I got it wrong....who the hell are you anyway to speak for other people here anyway?

Playing at trolling maybe?

Well....I have wasted enough time with you and the others who can't do anything with me but mock me and whine about this and that they don't like about me....unless you or any of them has something constructive to discuss in a positive manner that prompts intelligent mature dialogue....I am done with you.


Pro Libertate!

-OSR

reply to post by AutumnWitch657


You know, I'm not even sure. My mother was stunned by his response and the last time she talked about it, it still really upset her. He was very paranoid at the time about what his family knew because there had just been an incident that was viewed as a security leak from within the family already with drastic outcome. Both his career and wife were impacted by that one. He had been in SAC for over a decade previously. And you're right--WACS was just a way to improve Alaska's telecommunications for both civilian and military. That's the part of the story that really highlights his fear of security leaks. He slapped her and freaked out for nothing really. It was in the midst of a fall out from having had a perceived security leak within the family. His career and standing in the military were everything to him and he was a perfectionist. As my dad once astutely put it, there was no difference between civilian and military for my grandfather. He was the kind of man that, if he saw a young man misbehaving on the street in town, he'd order them to stop, drop and start doing push ups. Now imagine being raised by that. I've talked to many within the military about how it was for me as being just his granddaughter and they found what he did as shocking. A kind of juiced up and intense family of the Fortress. I still can't make a bed so I can bounce a quarter off of it but I can't sleep in a bed that isn't tightly made either.

I'm so sorry that your mom was a candidate, too. I'm barely tipping into recalling abuse. My recollections have so far been clipped. Hiding from her and in a panic, trying to figure out what to do, and then her coming in with her face all twisted with rage. Then it just clips out and off. The closest I've come to recollecting physical harm was completely without sight. Her coming in, face twisted, reaching for me and then vision went but I could hear myself screaming and being thumped hard against the wall. Even when I was older, she had a real thing for throwing me into things--walls, furniture, home decor. She was cautious about leaving marks on the face. She screwed that up one time and CPS showed up that evening as I was always the kind of kid who would just answer a question. That latter bit was usually what got me into trouble, lol. I never could learn to keep my mouth firmly shut. I wasn't a smart ass or anything like that.

Sometimes I wish I had issues with anger. A lot of times, I don't feel human at all. Just nothing going on emotionally. Hence why being able to cry is such a big deal for me.

I'm not fond of brain entrainment, lol. I was in TAG and in middle school, they were running little brain entrainment experiments on me where I'd be listening to some wobbly classical music with weird tones in it while free writing. I never liked the way that it made me feel afterwards. It's part of what compounded the "no safe quarter" feeling in me. Go home, get beaten and psychological abuse. Go to school, get headphones stuck on my head and have ye olde brain scramble. Part of my "scar tissue" is I cannot do anything that muddles my brain. Clarity at all times for me--no alcohol (1 drink max, slow to "fit in"), no drugs, no nothing that makes my brain feel scrambled. Even a slight buzz causes a lot of anxiety and panic. I'm a whole lot of fun, lol.

I'm not aging much either though--go figure. Never thought it might be the wobbly Mozart. Going to be 45 this year and my eldest frequently gets mistaken for being my brother. People get embarrassed asking me my age as my youngest is older, too, so their guestimate would make me a very young pre-teen mom, which doesn't jibe with how they seem me socially either. I confuse people. I've always attributed the lack of fine lines as being a combination between autism and dissociative--not a whole lot of expression going on. Ergo, no worry lines, no laugh lines, no nothing.

What I've been doing with some success has been locating and listening to former favorite music. I realized after accidentally stumbling on a former favorite band on a tv show, lol, that I was missing some once dearly loved belongings, including music. I tested my theory against my collection of 45s and year of release and it was glaringly and statistically obvious. What my mother did with me was incredibly psychologically abusive and smart. Recollection comes from the senses--touch, sight, sound, smell plus oral exchange with others to shore up the recall. Every object or bit of music I loved was taken from me at the time of a move and the past was strictly forbidden in discussion. She basically reset my environment entirely, utilized it to strip my room of all but the furniture, and even stripped the family photo albums of old photos save a couple of baby photos. I could go on at length about that and how I am certain she did it willfully and knowingly. Should explain why I'm digging for music though. That's where I will have the strongest associations being built as I've always been intensely musical and it's readily obtainable, thanks to the internet.

I am the product of whacked.

AutumnWitch657
reply to post by WhiteAlice

 

A minor correction. There are a few things that humans fear without conditioning and loud noise is one of them . That comes under instinct. Everyone reacts to it. Falling is another natural fear not a conditioned one. There are only a few and I can't recall them now. All other fears are learned. Like fearing a hand raised in front of you. When I see a child or animal cringe to a raised hand it tells me a lot about that person's or that animals personal experiences.

The loud noise startle response is pretty normal. It's just a little more on the extreme side for me as I don't relax back down easily. Ditto with the cringe response of a raised hand. I'm always quick to notice that. I also love the fact that my own children only cringe when I go to touch their hair since I have problems with static, lol. If I raise my hand up at my youngest really fast, she gives me a high five. LOL. I just get an arched eyebrow smirk from my eldest because he will NOT give me a high five. The punk.

reply to post by AutumnWitch657


"....I view this as a source of entertainment."

Well...there it is then. Wow...how someone can view discussion on a thread about horrific abuse done to children and lifelong enslavement as a "source of entertainment" is truly shocking....well, actually not to someone like me. Yes indeed....because the cell format I am posting on a delayed system because I miss posts being written and posted before I can post mine means I missed this before I answered the last one. I would not have done so had I seen this one.

Well...it speaks for itself. Yes....many of the handlers and programmers who tortured children also got pleasure and entertainment out of it.

I pity them for their affliction...just as I pity you and the people in your life for having to live with your's.....how truly sad for you.


Pro Libertate!

-OSR

reply to post by Onesmartrat


Because Monarch Programming is intergenerational....much of the kind of routine systematic abuse spills into daily life within families generation after generation. While some is a willfully enacted out 'extracuricular' ....meaning done outside of programming sessions...most appears to the public at least as random everyday childhood abuse. Not all parents are 'knowing' abusers...all of them are Monarch Multiples themselves and having children in their lives can often trigger violent behavior which mainly arises out of their own history of toture and abuse. In fact, in almost all cases of the latter...it will be one particular alter that will deliver the abuse when inadvertantly triggered by the children.

I saw this clearly for myself at a fairly young age ....this and the fact the 'controllers' told me they would be 'taking' my child when I grew up....for another generation of torture and abuse...and enslavement. So age twelve, I made the decision I would not have children to add to their 'fold'.

I basically told them to go 'f' themselves. I knew then what they had done to my mother and what they were doing to me....and I wasn't going to let them do it to MY kids.

I kept my word on it too...and have no regrets about that decision at all.


Pro Libertate!

-OSR

reply to post by Onesmartrat


There you go again. Like I said, previously, as far as what you wanted with Aquino, that's not any of my business whether your intent was to confront or question. Zero interest. Copy and pasted my exact words. To make it abundantly clear one more time as you still seem to be having trouble comprehending it:

I gave you the link to the Aquino thread because that is what you had come here for and threw in the Alexander link to be nice and helpful. I find information for people all the time because I happen to be good at understanding different search engine algorithms without bias or even interest in the subject myself. Providing you those links took less than 30 seconds for me. I'm efficient. As far as what you wanted from Aquino, I have zero interest in that.

I know altruism from a perceived adversary is hard to grasp for you but it is what it is. As far as alters go, you've only been talking to one person in your exchanges with me. That's me. Please stop trying to peg me with your delusions about what is within my head. There is no crowd of alters vying for supremacy in this noggin and I'll keep typing that til my fingers get stiff and sore. Only I know what is within my head--not some total stranger on the net.