My sister tells me really old people aren't mostly unhappy.

My sister drives old people to places as a voluntary activity. I said to her that I thought most old people were to different degrees not happy.
I should have said to my sister that the old people who didn't sound unhappy were actually unhappy but they didn't want to sound like neurotic whingers.

Why do I think most really old people are unhappy? They are dying. Their dreams are gone. I can relate as a fairly old person. Advanced aging, chronic pain and disability, and then dying in a place other than your home is not a happy topic.

Better awaits us, I hope.

reply to post by droid56


But the adventure continues, doesn't it? Even if I am stuck in a hoverbout, I'll still push my limits. Yep, I'll miss my youthful body, but it doesn't mean I'll quit.

What's the phrase? Oh yea...

"I'll rest when I die."

Okay. Please delete the original post. Sorry for the original post. Just thinking out loud.

droid56
Okay. Please delete the original post. Sorry for the original post. Just thinking out loud.

No...it's actually ok to do so.

But everyone is an individual. My father was a test pilot back in the day for the USAF. He can barely get up and walk about these days. But he doesn't let it stop him. He's a great example of how to live life as far as I'm concerned.

I learned a very important fact about life many years ago, and as a senior citizen, it has yet to fail me.

It is this:

Happiness is a choice.

I guess the key would be TO NOT focus on death, but to focus on what life remains for you to experience.

You can choose to be old, grumpy, bitter, and full of regrets or you can choose to look forward to each new day as a new experience. Some people can live with the decisions they made, the memories they have, the way they spent their hours and days and some can not. But ALL CHOOSE the way they see things and the way they take on each new day.

Most older people I know are happy. They have raised their children and sent them out into the great big world, they have (mostly) finished working for a wage and can now do some of the things they could not do when children were underfoot and they had a clock to punch.

It's all about perception. Most unhappy elderly people were also unhappy NON elderly people... at least in my experience. That's got to say something.

reply to post by droid56


While I am generally fairly happy overall I feel I too will despair over aging. Bring on the robot bodies.

I think mainly its because they cant get f#cked up. If I was dieing I would want the last of my days to be on a porch, with a bb gun, yelling at kids to get off my lawn (which will be rocks, with broken glass in it) and shooting them with my bb gun. I think after all I have been though, I desirve it.

First, How old is "really old"?

My 2 cents - "Life is nothing but a learning experience"

droid56
My sister drives old people to places as a voluntary activity. I said to her that I thought most old people were to different degrees not happy.
I should have said to my sister that the old people who didn't sound unhappy were actually unhappy but they didn't want to sound like neurotic whingers.

Why do I think most really old people are unhappy? They are dying. Their dreams are gone. I can relate as a fairly old person. Advanced aging, chronic pain and disability, and then dying in a place other than your home is not a happy topic.

Better awaits us, I hope.

Man, do you have a lot ot learn. I am stil 41, and have a sex drive that is nothing but pure distraction. One day I will have that particular animal desire sated, and can then turn my intellect onto other issues that required more than I had the time to give.

To a dreamer, old age seems like paradise. I am looking forward to it. Our bodies are only here to support our brains. Remove the physical desires, and just imagine what the mind might be able to focus on.

In the meantime....ill enjoy what the body has to give me. LOL

Kangaruex4Ewe
I guess the key would be TO NOT focus on death, but to focus on what life remains for you to experience.

You can choose to be old, grumpy, bitter, and full of regrets or you can choose to look forward to each new day as a new experience. Some people can live with the decisions they made, the memories they have, the way they spent their hours and days and some can not. But ALL CHOOSE the way they see things and the way they take on each new day.

Most older people I know are happy. They have raised their children and sent them out into the great big world, they have (mostly) finished working for a wage and can now do some of the things they could not do when children were underfoot and they had a clock to punch.

It's all about perception. Most unhappy elderly people were also unhappy NON elderly people... at least in my experience. That's got to say something.

edit on 1/15/2014 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)

My mom buried her husband, her father, and her brother all in the same month back in 1999. In 2002 she had cancer that she fought and fought with, finally being pronounced "CURED" in 2006. In 2011 her disks went out in 3 lower vertebrae and she spent 3 months in bed, writhing in pain and waiting for her Medicare funded doctor to address it (i finally had to let him know how badly I would beat him if he didn't move his ass). It broke my heart beyond anything I have ever experienced when, one day while in deep despair about her physical condition, she looked at me and said, "Son, i'm so sorry....i never planned for it to be this way." We were taking her meals to her room at night so she could try to eat something when the pain was between spikes, and she said this while I was bringing her food to her. I had to quickly leave her food and leave the room so she wouldn't see me break down.

Today the pain is better, but she now uses a walker. Meanwhile, my mother in law is the same age, and not only looks spry, but is actually a 60 something year old MILF. She is very, very good looking and has aged like her name is formaldehyde. My mom sees how vibrant and active she is, and you can tell that she wishes it was her.

But all that aside, her outlook is bright. The other day we were talking and she said, "You know....i thank God every day for all my blessings". I expected her to go on about her grandchildren and all the other stuff you would expect to hear. I said, "Oh yea, mom? How so?" She said, "Well, even with the back pain and the cancer, I figure I am still better off than some woman in Iraq getting beaten with rubber hoses".

She is right. Just by virtue of her not being born in a repressive country, she has had a pretty good run at it. And can expect to continue her run for some time. Despite it all.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


She is blessed to have you. I am always amazed at the human spirit that chooses to soldier through seemingly unbearable situations/circumstances then acknowledge that it could be worse and that there are things remaining in their lives that still make it worthwhile.

droid56
My sister drives old people to places as a voluntary activity. I said to her that I thought most old people were to different degrees not happy. I should have said to my sister that the old people who didn't sound unhappy were actually unhappy but they didn't want to sound like neurotic whingers.

The really interesting thing about your post is that you made it all up--completely. Unlike your sister, you have no direct experience and you've never experienced being old yourself. You just decided that old people must be unhappy even though they didn't sound unhappy. You've decided that they are regardless.

Wow! We can make up things all day. I have no cats, but I think they must be unhappy if they must stay indoors, because cats are outside creatures, therefore being inside must make them unhappy. It's easy to make up stuff about things you know nothing about.

reply to post by droid56


No one wants to die, and old age makes sure everyone does die.
A young person doesn't have to immediately think about death because they have time.
An old person has no choice but to confront they are not far off death.
What would they have to be happy about?

Almost all really old people are unhappy. Forget On Golden Pond. When you get really old, you won't admit to being unhappy, but that is only because you don't like complaining.

Most old people struggle with depression. You will too if you live long enough.

I meet a lot of older women at my work every day.

I find it really depends, some are so lovely and love coming in and talking, some are overly excited and talk a lot!! (due to probably being lonely).

Some are completely rude and miserable though, and some times theyre really pleasant. It honestly doesnt have much to do with age I do not think, I mean you will find happy and sad people at any age, time and any where.

It comes down to that persons circumstances at the time.

"Some are completely rude and miserable though"
Their called mother-in-law's.

In all seriousness though I have found that the most happiest seniors are the people who have it rough in their time, you know the ones who have been through the likes of rationing in world war two, or maybe the parent's of conscripts called up for active duty ie, Vietnam war or similar conflicts where everything is out off their hands so to speak,

These people have developed a tough mental attitude to life's dramas and have become more wizened for it.

On the hand people who have been born with a silver spoon in their mouths so to speak cant grasp the fact that their easy lives are coming to an end and struggle to come to terms with this.

Provided they (and soon to us) have a minimum standard off life what else can you be if not happy to have lived.

Just my opinion