Ritual abuse etc, how to get memories back?

reply to post by hidingthistime


Zeph Daniel is a great person to listen to even though he's not very well known, i have always said that the four people that get more then 50 percent of this conspiracy correct are Ted Gunderson, Zeph Daniel, Fritz Springmeier and William Copper.......


Also i can relate a little to what you are going through, a few years ago i was a victim of gangstalking it wasn't the government doing to me but trust i know the pain you are going through, also just try to hang in there and get better.....

Wow, I looked up that Fritz Springmeier, and they have my whole family history in there. Even my one aunt that I spent a lot of time with. If she were still alive she could have helped me. Apparently she got compensation.

Sucks I am too terrified and unsupported by family (shunned, belittled, scapegoat, discredited since birth etc)

Lucky she married a good man out of the family who helped her get compensated. I am terrified to call the number though.

I think they already probly know who I am.

Wow I sound like a lunatic.... I am a bit twitchy right now..... shivers going up my spine etc. I could get sick.

reply to post by hidingthistime


I've read through the threads. I believe this has happened to you.. cause the exact same thing has happened to me.
I have been on a life long mission it seems to try and regain control of my mind.
I spent years being upset and mad about this span of events in my life. They hipnotised me to forget.. but my mind wanted me to know. To get away!
Saddley i've come to except the abuse but I want my mind back! And no one seems to be able to help. They more or less say yep.. your crazy.. all the while I'm thinking.. Man you can't make thus # up!
I know I'm not crazy.. I know your not crazy. This # is real. I've been searching the web for years for a validation that this has happened not only to me. Sadley enough i've found one.

reply to post by hypnotized


look at both of our screen names for example. Obviously something was in our subconscious to pick those names, even though this was the last topic I would have thought of posting about.

Also, I had completely for gotten about it ALL over again and am glad this is here to be bumped once in a while to remind me at least.

I have tried to research this SOOOOO many times, once I remember to research it, if that makes any sense.

It is like every time I get close, they send all these distractions my way, and I magically forget yet again. ( not the worst thing sometimes)

reply to post by hidingthistime


how much does this effect your day to day life.. do you feel like things are happening completely out of your control.. do you ever feel like your mind comes to a fork in the road and the decision tares you apart trying to make a decision that you think will bring a different outcome that they wanna ya see.. but in the end is exactly what they wanted..
it started off with a form of abuse as a child but i believe it was for a bigger picture.. in order to control me for the rest of my life. i feel teatherd some how.. i cant seem to break it free.
i did some real memory searching.. and i can remember more and more.. i can remember a lot more actually.. i feel like in my head.. im looking through a smokey window and the key is just out side of it but i just cant seem to reach it..
some days are better than others.. but some are pretty blah.. sure its easy to say its depression but that's the lemon's diagnosis.. these are symptoms caused by another.. cut one out and the other wont exists. all this medicine is just a band aid of BS covering, the fact that the doctors today dont know jack! maybe they do and dont wanna admit they too see something wrong.. something deeper... i believe there are more of us.. i believe that some are so intrenched with fear, that they wont say, or they too are in the search and just havent found anything or anybody to confirm or validate there experience. i personally am tired of being scared.. i spent too many years scared and petrified..
i found forcing my self to do things.. like walking.. fresh air.. cleaning or doing things physical tend to break my mind open for abit.. then the same distractions of life comes in..
in one of my memories.. remember this went on for a few years for me.. oddly enough.. there was a few different people involved... and at different times and not usually were they together.. actually maybe once or twice if i recall correctly..
these people, while i was a child.. jammed a needle in my arm, right into the bone... i remember my father asking me what had happened to my arm, it was a huge bruise.. i remember looking at it and actually not remembering actually being confused on how i got this bruise...... now alot a years later.. it flashed into my head, like it happened and answered my confusion i had when my father had asked me how i got this bruise. they told me that they were giving me cancer... let me start this by saying, ive never been diagnosed with cancer, as of now.. i paid for a bone scan in the spot of the bruise.. that i remember the spot so well, because i was actually in such wonder on how i got this bruise as a child... i had my whole forearm scanned.. guess what... there was something in that spot, right into the bone. possible quincidence.. im doubting it.
i have gone through alot of horse sh*t.. mentally and physically..
ill search the rest of my life for answers... but sadley, ive come to relize, itll kill me before i figure it out.. but i feel already dead now, so who gives a sh*t

pheonix358
You have not provided much, nor in all probability should you.

I would steer you in one direction for a short time if I may.

The assumption that you have been mind controlled is possibly just that, an assumption.

What you describe, the blank missing pieces can also occur due to your childhood self blanking the memories because you are not capable of handling them. Another name for this is possibly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder complicated by protective amnesia. All of what you have said fits, including distrust of others and paranoia.

A good Psychologist could help. You need a specialist in this area.

P

Yeah, PTSD at a young age leading to DID. Disassociation is what it is all about. It's not MPD, because it is not really multiple personalities, but the mind fragments similar to a mirror.

People who actually go through this are rarely going to be diagnosed with it. They just look like they have bi polar disorders, anxiety, ADHD, sometimes schizophrenia, anti-social disorders, PTSD etc....

It is hard to get a diagnoses of DID because it looks like a lot of other disorders. You really don't want to be diagnosed with DID anyways. If you can't remember your child hood - keep it to yourself. While DID can come from a lot of things, psychological experimentation is a cause of it. However, that doesn't mean there was SRA. People don't realize that SRA is rare and unnecessary for fragmenting a child's mind. Simple and repetitive psychologically traumatizing stimuli worked just fine on someone I know (ok, simple being a relative term - and yes some physical trauma but most likely no sexual abuse). Sometimes it is the child's own family doing it, without links to any government agency. Regardless, it is hard for the subject to know if there was actual physical abuse, ritualistic or otherwise, because the subject can't remember their childhood. Plus, the subject will probably start using drugs in their teens to cope with the distorted reality they already live in - further confusing them and making them easily susceptible to the idea that the drugs are the reason they can not remember.

It actually does have major benefits, believe it or not, for the victim. Depression often ensues though, far outweighing the benefits. You also end up being robbed of your childhood. I wouldn't wish it on any child, and view it as a subversion of free will of the worst kind, but for those who have already had their mind fragmented, it DOES have benefits that can be unlocked. Like I said before, the ability to disassociate is a major part of the goal (that part is not disinformation, although there IS a TON of disinformation out there).

From my understanding of memory it's often difficult to recover lucid episodic memories (i.e. like video clips of the past) of the long-term. However with various triggers it can be surprising what comes up. Triggers could include past locations, smells, people, songs etc. I would advise against hypnosis though as that has been associated with creating false memories in people based on leading questions.

Also psychology/counselling has been mentioned by a previous poster. I think this would be a good idea, not so much to see if that can recover memories, but to gain a true insight into how ready you are if memories do start coming back.

reply to post by hidingthistime


This is my personal advice to you, take what you want from it:

That Fritz Springmeir guy, from what I can tell, is spreading disinformation and leading subjects/victims down a train of thought that brings them back to their "programming." I think his time in prison was so that he could be close to subjects who were incarcerated at that time. It is true that this is partially about programming a human mind - but that can be done with all humans to a large extent. What this is really about is programming a dis-associative human mind. Believe it or not, the part about that only being able to be done with DID is the biggest lie found in all of this disinformation out here. Programming a person who's mind is fragmented and is able to disassociate is MUCH harder than the average person. That is why they often use hypnotism, but only around 2 percent of the population is susceptible enough to hypnotism that they can't easily break free of the "spell." That means that the ideal candidate has to be able to disassociate, be easily hypnotized, AND go along with the programming consciously when they are not under hypnotism. As you can imagine, the last part involves a lot of perception management on a micro scale. The reason this is the ideal candidate is because a mind that is able to dis-associate is such an asset if it can be controlled. But that is the point - it is NOT easier to control. It is much harder. Use your ability to dis-associate to your advantage. Don't run from it.

This is the only key you need: stonewall external stimuli. Filter it so that it doesn't affect your perspective. Base your thoughts on concepts and not perceptions. Ignore perceived reality for all but practical purposes. For conceptual and intellectual purposes - filter it out because it's all BS anyways. Your connection to God is an anchor. People who have that anchor are much harder to brainwash. That is why your "handlers," as they like to call them in all those disinformation books, are normally people who discuss faith with you. They use the Scripture in a distorted way to manipulate you (that part is true). No matter what external stimuli is thrown your way, automatically disassociate from it. By doing this, you can not be lead down a spiral of thought designed to lead you back to your "programming." That is where guys like Fritz come in - Fritz is external stimuli and the stuff he is suggesting is the opposite of what you should do. Trust me, someone who isn't me knows from experience.

This is all a mind warp. If you do not trust your perceived reality, but instead trust the concepts found in God's Word, you are basically untouchable. If you happen to be part of that 2 percent of the population, there is little you can do about the hypnotism. Normally hypnotism requires the subjects mind to consent to the outside manipulation, but for a small amount of the population that is not the case. When they begin teaching your mind to disassociate (if "they" in fact ever did), they can not know if you are a part of that percentage.

There are so many people who have been put through what you probably have been, and there is so much disinformation out there on the topic, that you will have to rely on God. The good news about there being so many people out there who have been put through this strange psychological experiment is - you can easily get lost in the mix. Other than whoever taught you to disassociate, the truth is, no one else knows about you. There are no markings and no signals to let other "handlers" know. That is a lie designed to warp your mind and lead you back to your programming. It is the illusion of an impossible scenario.

Try to remember, if you are able to disassociate, you are very hard to program. Normal people are very easy to program. In fact, the vast majority of them already ARE programmed. People with DID are the prize catch for a reason. That's why this huge campaign of disinformation and mind warps exist in the first place.

Most importantly - just try to find peace. I wouldn't recommend trying to unlock the traumatic memories. The Bible says to look to the future and to seek peace. Don't worry about the past. I know that person I know who is going through DID stopped trying to unlock the memories of their childhood a long time ago. That person said it's now annoying them that when they stopped trying to remember - that's when they started to remember things. So, maybe I am giving bad advice, maybe it's best to keep trying to remember so that you don't remember.

The human mind is strange indeed.

Oh, and BTW, secret societies have nothing to do with this. That is more disinformation. It is highly probable that very few people know about your DID and have access to documents on your thought patterns.

This stuff is not hopeless, and odds are you were not actually abused in the ways described in the books and youtube videos. That is part of the mind warp. They want you to feel like it is a massive conspiracy and you are hopeless. It is probably just a few people who used you as one of many test subjects. You can get lost in the mix very easily and live a peaceful life. Don't let those books and youtube videos trick you. There is no grand conspiracy of SRA and such. Trust me when I say - that is part of the mind warp. They want you to feel hopeless. Try to find peace. Look at the beauty in the world, and recognize that things could have been worse.

It is trauma based, don't get me wrong, but not THAT kind of trauma.

reply to post by hypnotized


Read my other posts and consider them. Someone I know *ahem* went through minor physical and major psychological abuse like you describe. It was to fragment the mind and teach it to dis-associate.

Yes, to a child it is major, and that is the point. In retrospect, it is minor and a lot of people have a lot worse happen to them who are not even being manipulated like this psychologically for any real purpose. That person who I am referring to is very annoyed when that person starts remembering stuff, but only because the feelings rush back - not necessarily because of what ACTUALLY happened. It is the illusion and the feelings that hurt the most. A child is impressionable.

That person gets a rush of emotion whenever a specific injury occurs because that injury always brings memories of psychological abuse rushing back. Thankfully, that person is able to quickly disassociate. That person can remember remembering the things that happened, but has successfully repressed most of the memories again for the time being. This is beneficial to that persons search for peace. If that person could talk to you, that person would probably recommend that you do the same.

reply to post by hypnotized


Oh, I forgot to mention - that person would highly recommend video games to you if that person were talking to you. Very therapeutic. Plus, people with DID tend to be really good at them

Do you want to remember because you think remembering will lead to healing? Remembering and can actually do more damage if your not with someone who can help you deal with the shame, guilt, betrayal, and abandonment that comes with sexual abuse.

You said you were once doing really good - were happy, felt beautiful, had a great job ... So what happened?

Something triggered it.

You know something happened to you - that is enough for now. It's all your mind is going to give you. The blanks will be filled in over time, and when your doing good (can handle more). It will be a lifelong thing - no one heals from something like this all at once (sadly). The literature is very clear on this - it is a process. In fact - it is often not until one is in their 30's or 40's that they begin to remember details.

Above all else - you need a coping strategy for triggers. If you feel like this without all of the memories how do you think you will feel when they come flooding back? Begin work on coping day to day and the rest will follow whether you want it to or not. Your mind needs to be able to handle it so not remembering is its coping strategy right now. Find another way so you can tell your mind it's safe. Or...do you fear being that strong happy woman - because it frees your mind to remember?

reply to post by Dianec


Being strong and happy does not free your mind to remember.

Most of the "literature" on this stuff says you have to put the fragments back together and reach the part of you that you began to split from in the first place. That's the problem. It's all bad information designed to keep you from moving forward. People spend decades talking to therapists who are just collecting data on them. It is an illusion of healing.

The only way to move forward is to continue to dis-associate and live in a fragmented mind. By getting better at dis-associating, you can reduce your sensitivity to triggers. When you start to remember, if you don't dis-associate, there is a snowball effect. Every memory brings more triggers along with it and those triggers can access more fragments. The thing is - it is not beneficial to the person to access those fragments and get to the original part of them that they started splitting from as a child. It only serves to further traumatize the person and does not provide any real healing.

Key word - psychological - experiments. The therapist does not have to know why they are doing what they are doing. They are following a procedure that was laid out for them.

Don't worry about the past. Look to the future and seek peace. It is the only way.

Also, don't be so quick to jump to sexual abuse as the cause of the fragmentation. That is a huge mistake. There are many forms of psychological abuse and that is just one of them. Considering the SRA disinformation campaign, it is also the least likely to be true. It serves to create anxiety and a feeling of hopelessness in someone who can't even remember what happened to them.

Dis-association is good. It is an ability that is sought after by many people for many different reasons. It is linked to heightened visual acuity, reflexes, and an ability to deal with situations normal people can not deal with (that's not just disinformation).

Remembering what gave you the ability to dis-associate and all of the things that caused your mind to fragment in the first place - very bad. Avoid it. Look to the future and seek peace.

And stay far away from youtube videos and books on mind control/sra unless you just want to see the depth of the disinformation campaign and question why such a large disinformation campaign exists.

By the way, many people find that they can dis-associate whenever they choose to with very little practice.

FreeWillAnomaly
Dis-association is good. It is an ability that is sought after by many people for many different reasons. It is linked to heightened visual acuity, reflexes, and an ability to deal with situations normal people can not deal with (that's not just disinformation).

Remembering what gave you the ability to dis-associate and all of the things that caused your mind to fragment in the first place - very bad. Avoid it. Look to the future and seek peace.

And stay far away from youtube videos and books on mind control/sra unless you just want to see the depth of the disinformation campaign and question why such a large disinformation campaign exists.

By the way, many people find that they can dis-associate whenever they choose to with very little practice.

edit on 6-2-2014 by FreeWillAnomaly because: (no reason given)

I'm not sure if i would phrase it that way Dis-association in a point blank range is bad it falls under the banner of what the C.I.A's version of the Illuminati wants, setting bit parts on a pre-set equation of Dis-association is not bad as long as it doesn't allow for programming also being what David Icke said is also smart which is a Maverick where you zig and zag and dis allow for programming from trauma based mind control sure the Illuminati or whatever you want to call them are still going to try every thing they can to set programs but if you zig and zag you set your own programs which can't be beat.......

reply to post by hidingthistime


If I might add two cents...

Several years ago I went through a wave of psychological and physical abuse at the hands of "others" and, over time, have effectively managed to block out the majority of my conscious memories of what transpired during those altercations.

Some of the abuse happened while I was knocked out on various administered injections and I still to this day cannot tell you what transpired during those "blackout" periods. I've heard several times from doctors that I "cussed them out" and "behaved irrationally" towards them while under - even though I have no memory of even meeting them before waking back up.

Every so often, I experience an up-welling of extremely repressed memories that are so severe, jumbled, overlapping and unpleasant that I have to take a rather heavy anti-psychotic to diffuse myself from what can only be described as horrible flooding of the conscious mind. There is so much unwanted information that I literally can't deal with it on a conscious level. The medication hits so hard I'm usually pretty much comatose for days afterwards - but it's a welcome relief from the alternative.

Granted, this is my own personal experience, but in light of what I've been through over the years - I would have to caution against opening that Pandora's Box of the mind. Sadly, in cases such as genuine Ritual Abuse, sometimes ignorance is indeed bliss.

Whatever path you choose to go in your quest for answers, I wish you the best of luck....and hope you find peace and closure with whatever personal demons you are wrestling with.

reply to post by King Seesar


Icke is full of it. He is in the class of Fritz.

One thing to remember, though, is that with DID combined with hypnotism, it is very possible that the memories some people have "unlocked" are not real. I think that is part of why there is the large SRA/Reptile/Illuminati disinformation campaign. Not to say the Illuminati don't run psychological experiments, but all of the commonly known disinformation is complete BS.

reply to post by FreeWillAnomaly



Good point but forget some of Icke's other theories and listen to the knowledge of what he meant by being a Maverick if your so random and you keep zigging and zagging then who ever is attacking you with a mind control program can't get you locked in right because your so random or all over the place they can't set in a program.....


I think Fritz got a lot of the info he discovered right sure not all but then again he's not god but look at it this way and i wrote this in another post but i might as well share, connect the dots between what Fritz Springmyer said to what Ted Gunderson head of the FBI in Los Angeles said, Fritz said they (the Illuminati) use Witchcraft on there victims he also brought up the C.I.A's involvement with it in the case of Cisco Wheeler now Ted Gunderson said that the C.I.A was involved in Witchcraft and was using it for a tool, sure Ted didn't use the name Illuminati but they were both barking up the right tree...

reply to post by GENERAL EYES


Wow sad to hear i have been battling forces of evil caused by others also, i never blacked out or had injections put in me, but in your case i would say it was some form of government involvement, your probably really good at extra sensory perception and they wanted to find out how you saw things during the black out through heightened awareness to see if they could get your perception to lead them to info that was indeed real......


I'm never going to forget the pain that was caused me sure i'll let it go in time but i always want to remember i'm too sacred of some of the stuff i have read to forget, sure it's a tougher road but what am i to do.......