Bullied Boy with ADHD/Aspergers Brings it on Himself, Classmate’s Father says

Yes .. the father actually said that about the bully victim.
Kinda' makes you sick to your stomach, doesn't it??

Bullied Boy with ADHD Brings It On Himself, Classmate's Father Says

A father whose teenage son is accused of posting a video online of classmates teasing a 13-year-old Iowa boy with Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD says it is wrong, but added that the boy brings it upon himself.

“I would say three-fourths of this stuff he brings on himself and probably a fourth of it is bullying that shouldn’t be going on,” Levi Weatherly told WHOtv.com. The man's son was not named.

Using school computers, students at Melcher-Dallas High School have been posting videos online of Levi Null reacting to medications, the station reports.

“People tell me to run into things and I don’t really like it. And I tell them that I don’t want to and they just laugh at me, whenever I do it,” Levi Null said.

The school determined that the victim isn't really a victim, because he is engaging in some of the self destructive behavior. But the thing is, the victim doesn't want to engage in the self destructive behavior but, because of the ADHD and Aspergers, he does it so he'll get picked on less. I can understand this ... if the perps are laughing at him, then they aren't hitting him upside the head. So he follows their orders to do self destructive behaviors in order to bring down upon himself the 'lesser' bullying of laughter.

The bottom line is that the perps are teasing and picking on someone with disabilities.

Instead of goading him into the self destructive behavior, those perps should be trying to HELP
the child get along better with others and get along better in school.

What kind of world do we live in? 'The Knockout Game' .. which isn't a game but is really assault .. is popular. Bullies get away with assault and are even excused by the bully parents. Children are literally bullied to death, and their tormentors get away with it. THIS is the future of this country. It's rather frightening ... I foresee these idiots filling up jail cells as they get older. Shame on them. Shame on the parents.

What an ass. Like father like son

We all know that children can be cruel, they know not what they do.
But for this to come from a parent...is sick.

reply to post by FlyersFan


There has to be some ingrained primal instinct to pick on the weak.
It's bizarre that this keeps happening in this day and age.

I heard a story just the other day, of a local 14 year old boy suffering from aspergers .

Who was so tired of being bullied and abused, that at a bbq with some other kids, poured petrol on himself and set himself on fire.

Prior to setting himself on fire he spoke to the other "friends" and said that he was so tired of been bullied and criticized that he just did not want to be here anymore.

The thing is when you are in that space of living being a victim, then going outside for help is not the answer. I know when I was going through this in school I would not tell anyone of my demise, because of the shame in self of the inability to deal with it.

It is a bit of a catch 22, and until you can find your own power, you are a victim of it.

Being a victim in any sense in our society seems to give off a signal, and invisible signal, pretty much like wearing a banner on your head that says "victim here come and get me".

It must be something embedded in our aura that others can see at a subconscious level.


I know when i worked for a large corporation that dealt with the public on mass, that if one of my staff was subject to abuse from a client, that it would leave an imprint on them, so that anyone all day that wanted to vent abuse, would find this individual and abuse them more. It didn't matter if you moved the staff member out into the back office for the day, they would still receive it, in the form of a phone call or even another staff member. It was like a signal that said, I am vulnerable today. Weird.

My oldest has Aspergers.. processing issues.. etc. Beautiful girl too.. but bullies and certain types see her coming. Its like they smell blood in the water and I have protected her for almost 20 years now. Predators definitely sense something. It was even evident in daycare when I was working years ago. I can see what it is. Its a knowledge that she is a "wounded animal" and will not be much of a challenge. Low hanging fruit. Easy pickin's. Bullies go after them becuase the bullies themselves are prey.. and have to search out the weakest among the group to try to be apex. Pack mentality.. but they dont understand pack dynamics and the authority figures like parents and teachers are morons obviously.

A girl "befriended" my daughter when she was 18. I didnt like the kid.. but J was 18 and I wanted to let her make decisions and etc. Overnight during a sleep over this "friend" hacked her hair off and burnt her with a heated up fork. J didnt call me because her "friend" told her that it was all in fun. For who? Im sure some here get the significance of the hair cutting... little psychopath. Unfortunately for her.. Im an apex predator with anger management issues. Having a child like this.. I will fight her fights until I am physically incapable of it.. because she isnt weak, but lacks the decision making process to fight her own or defend herself. Just like the kid in this story. She doesnt want to harm others.. she doesnt want to disappoint others.. she lets others make decisions for her. Just like the kid in this story. Her brilliance does not translate into having any social aptitude. If it was just weakness.. my own kid or not.. Im ashamed to admit that I would be predatory toward a willingly weak spineless person myself if I was frustrated with his or her performance. I have tried to get her to stand up for herself before I understood it wasnt weakness.. it is impossible.

When you have an aspie or spectrum kid.. its constant vigilance. As a society we SHOULD be vigilant for all of those who give off that scent they are our own children or simply another human being.

I have ADHD and a very mild form of Aspergers. Just enough to make connecting with people difficult. Thankfully, I've learned to live with it. People I like, I hang around. People I don't like, I walk away from. And sometimes, I just stick by myself. Being alone is better than feeling alone in a room full of people.

So I know exactly how this guy feels. It's terrible when you get to witness first hand how little difference there is between our species and a tiger in the jungle. Society is just so competitive, and this is how we take it outside the football stadium or boxing ring.

AfterInfinity
I have ADHD and a very mild form of Aspergers. Just enough to make connecting with people difficult. Thankfully, I've learned to live with it. People I like, I hang around. People I don't like, I walk away from. And sometimes, I just stick by myself. Being alone is better than feeling alone in a room full of people.

So I know exactly how this guy feels. It's terrible when you get to witness first hand how little difference there is between our species and a tiger in the jungle. Society is just so competitive, and this is how we take it outside the football stadium or boxing ring.

edit on 21-11-2013 by AfterInfinity because: (no reason given)

Its excellent you have found you can walk away! Im type A, highly competitive, etc.. but I gave a damn to understand that I dont have to be brutal. I can and should.. MUST.. check myself. If people were taught that simple thing, there would be a lot less victimization of our fellow human beings. But. then you have the sadistics and those who are compelled to bully so they elevate themselves in the whole social dynamic.
Unfortunately depending on the actual process and social setting, some aspies do not KNOW or UNDERSTAND they have the **option** to walk away.In their internal dialog they sometimes dont say to themselves "walk away. I can walk away. I can fight." It just never comes until sometimes afterward. In retrospect they can understand they can walk away or fight back.. but not necessarily at the time of the stimulus.
I know its hard to understand.. hell I DONT understand it. I just know its truth and base my reactions.. or non actions.. on that very fact.

As the mother of teenage twin boys with autism, I find this father's ignorance inexcusable.

I would just like to say to that Father, I quite agree with you no complaints here as you are entitled to your opinion no matter how warped.

Now when the Boys uncles come looking for you I want you to remember one thing only.
" You Brought It On Yourself"

pavmas
I would just like to say to that Father, I quite agree with you no complaints here as you are entitled to your opinion no matter how warped.

Now when the Boys uncles come looking for you I want you to remember one thing only.
" You Brought It On Yourself"

No complaints from me.

Well put.

reply to post by OneManArmy


The ones who think like this and don't have problems, don't have deep understanding or empathy, and are actually handicapped in my opinion. That dog eat dog, healthy young buck is a minority in the end. And once people start to walk in others shoes, and feel enough pain to not be able to do things, then they finally get it, but often too late for the many they have been calloused towards and even added to their suffering.

reply to post by Unity_99


Low empathy people pick on the weak, its not that they are uncaring, its because they are full of hate.

hate for themselves' they would not dream of coming to the aid of others' they dress it up as low empathy but they are cowards, they keep themselves safe because they are scared, just like this case, why did the son attack the disabled boy.
Because he learned from his father who is a coward and his son is a coward.

Bet he would not pick on the big boys in the class or stand up for a kid being bullyed, nope I have their card well and truly marked.

Whether in Government sending soldiers to death or bullys they are classed as low empathy when the real name is COWARD who avoids danger and picks on weaker people because of self hate for being such a coward.

That farther wont be laughing when the kid snaps buys a gun and goes on a rampage.

reply to post by Advantage


Oh yeah. I have a very hard time walking away sometimes on the principle that "all it takes for evil to win..." Which is part of what makes it a terrible position to be in. Is it worth going out on a limb for? Sometimes, it's hard to tell.

reply to post by Advantage


My son has Asperger's and when he was 11 years old, he came home and said the most terrifying words that a mother can ever hear fall from their child's lips--"I don't want to live anymore". My heart didn't just break--it shattered to a million bits. He had been going to a private school with small classes (11 kids in his class) and it turned out that not only was his teacher turning a blind eye on what was going on on the playground but was participating in bullying him, herself. Apparently, because he was so quiet and withdrawn on the first day of class there, the hag with the messed up teeth decided he was "slow" and called him that before the entire class in very mocking tones. And when a few boys from his class decided to pick on the "stupid kid" by tearing at his arms and pushing him down on the playground so they could kick him in the head repeatedly, she turned a blind eye. I didn't just assure that that teacher lost her job. I destroyed that little small town private school without having to spend a dime on a lawyer. Small towns are ruled by gossip, you know.

The sad thing is, my son struggled for years with the belief that he was "stupid" because of those kids and that teacher. Even when a later school suggested that he go to a gifted boarding school, he clung onto the "stupid" belief about himself. He knows better now but whenever I see those doubts arise, well, I see that hag's face. I ruined her. She lost her job as a teacher but that will never be enough.

Children with Asperger's are so delicate. They are intensely sensitive and you bet, that can get picked up on fast. I have autism and that happened with me. Happened with my son til he grew into a bear child and nobody wanted to trifle with him anymore. However, not all children with autism are lucky enough to grow big enough to daunt other children. And even though my son is a 17 year old big bear brainiac, I still worry for him, too, because of that sensitive nature and desperate desire to feel like one belongs. The latter is probably why your daughter gets swayed, btw. Autistic people tend to feel like the isolated aliens in the room and autistic girls learn to mimic early on.

For whatever reason, perhaps it is our gender, but the need to be an accepted member of the rest of the girls is really very high. This could be the source of your daughter's problem. It may not be that there is a fault in her decision making process but that she weighs those friendships that make her feel like she belongs as being worth the pain. I'd say that the only cure for that is to foster a feeling that the way that she is has extreme value and that it isn't a bad thing to be different but a great thing. Those with autism see the world through wholly different eyes and that does have value. I've lost count of the times where my own friends have remarked on how I got them to view something that they thought they understood in a whole new light. Try showing her, if you haven't already as I imagine, like me, you've gone through the ringer in raising her, that who she is is a virtue and that her autism can be a strength--not a weakness--and that different is good.

crazyewok
That father wont be laughing when the kid snaps buys a gun and goes on a rampage.

That is so unlikely to happen. Suicide is far more likely to end the neverending pain. Autistic people are deeply sensitive on both the sensory level and the emotional level. You're probably thinking of Adam Lanza in this statement but I want to point out that Lanza was never officially diagnosed with anything--let alone Asperger's. As an autistic and a mother of an autistic son, while I can say that our view on the actions of society can become incredibly jaded, the odds of us going out and buying a gun to go on a rampage is slim to none. For one thing, guns are really noisy and for another, we care way too much about others for that. Autistics only appear to lack empathy but research is now indicating what we all knew all along--that we're so deeply empathetic that we withdraw into ourselves. All those idiot researchers apparently never asked us how we feel.

www.thedailybeast.com...

grey580
reply to post by FlyersFan

 

There has to be some ingrained primal instinct to pick on the weak.
It's bizarre that this keeps happening in this day and age.

There is. Ever seen the weak hen in the henhouse?

But "in this day and age" just isn't true. We are still humans. Regardless of where we are on the calendar. Don't think you are smarter than someone living 2000 years ago. They were human, too.

AfterInfinity
I have ADHD and a very mild form of Aspergers. Just enough to make connecting with people difficult. Thankfully, I've learned to live with it. People I like, I hang around. People I don't like, I walk away from. And sometimes, I just stick by myself. Being alone is better than feeling alone in a room full of people.

So I know exactly how this guy feels. It's terrible when you get to witness first hand how little difference there is between our species and a tiger in the jungle. Society is just so competitive, and this is how we take it outside the football stadium or boxing ring.

edit on 21-11-2013 by AfterInfinity because: (no reason given)

I lived in America for a year a few years ago, I thought at the time that the American people had intensive programming into been the very best you can be and to hell with the rest.

I came across this problem in learning how to do something, and was surprised of the idea that people were unwilling to teach me, when I dug into it further, I discovered that the reason they did not want to teach me was because it would make me strong, perhaps stronger than they were, therefore they were afraid that i might get the upper hand.

Don't get me wrong, I love American's, it was just that I got to see from the inside how difficult you guys have it.

Please do not be bullied into loosing that sensitivity, it makes you beautiful, you have everything you need
it just makes you a fringe dweller as far as interacting with society, which is terribly messed up anyway.

Everything we have been taught is a lie, the only truth is love.