The Top Ten Obama Truths You Wished You Never heard

To counteract the recent accusations that Obama has lied, he has decided to turn a new leaf. So for now on every thing he says will be 100% honest. So in Letterman style, I give you, The Top Ten Obama Truths You Wished You Never Heard. Along with the same dry humor you have grown to expect.

1. First he will be renaming Obamacare to the, "Unaffordable Healthcare ACT". And the new nickname will be Obamadoesn'tcare.
   
2. Benghazi? Hey it was an election year, and if we didn't cover this up, Americans would notice that my election was rigged."
   
3. Aliens? Have you noticed that it was only republicans that were anal probed?
   
4. Drones? "Yeah I really do like killing people. What was your address again?"
   
5. IRS Scandal? "Well, honestly, they were better off than the ones visited by aliens."
   
6. The Patriot Act? Well we will have to rename this to the Unpatriotic Act with the way we spy on Americans through their dishwashers."
   
7. Sleeping with Holder? "Well we really weren't sleeping."
   
8. The TSA? "We hire pedophiles and sex offenders for laughs."
   
9. Koolaid? Yes we have a contract with koolaid. You can't pin this one on me since it is common knowledge that you shouldn't drink the koolaid."
   
10. Impeachment for acting without congress approval? "Well, yes I do deserve this, but I am now a dictator so none of this matters anymore now does it."
    

Do you have any you would like to add? I am not very good at comedy, but I bet some of you here could knock my socks off.

reply to post by elouina

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle.'' Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle.'

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of disturbed person put him up there to begin with."

Best explanation I've heard yet!

ETA: A joke without a picture of something isn't as fun.

reply to post by elouina


When did the 'truth' become comedy?

Found a great joke on the web...

" Obama's so unpopular, that village in Kenya said we can keep their idiot. "