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My Story Of Everlasting Love [AAC]

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posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 04:35 PM
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I knew love once. No not the ordinary, commercialized love, but eternal, unconditional love that 2 can feel throughout the ages.

My name was Aria, and his was Adam.

Here is our story.

We resided on a planet that in its time would be filled with people that were far more advanced then other planets that we visited.

We lived in a way that was mostly misunderstood by others way of living, and that was the way we wanted it.

On our planets children would remain in their parents care until age 7. Before that time, parents only loved, cared, nurtured their child, but any form of personal indoctrination was prohibited from parents on our planet, due to wanting their children to be their own. Never allowing for judgement, but allowing their children to rise on their own.

Children in certain age ranges would be housed and provided for in different sectors of the planet, this was to allow you to be your age, older children did not reside with us, so that we would not emulate their actions or personalities, they were at a different level, and so were we.

Our first day in Sector 12 I met Adam. He was my very first friend . He was happy, curious, and caring for all the other children, as was I, we immediately became friends.

We did everything together, and as we aged and reached different Sectors, we always remained together.

This was of course noticed by the other children, and never frowned upon, except when we reached age 13.

This is where apparently we are now being separated by sex, male and female.

Adam and I never saw each other as separate, we saw each other as friends, inseparable friends, but our Planet knew that at a certain age that the separation between the sexes was a must, and that was due to learning, and development that was set for both sexes.

Girls and boys had a set plan and goal for their lives, though we were with our parents, they could never had known, or even been able to tell us our future, that was for us and the council to decide.

Adam and I asked why this was so.

Apparently what we did not know and neither did our parents was that every 13,000 years there was a ritual that included one child that would be chosen for a different life. One that consisted of something far more advanced then most on our planet. Our separation was to observe the children in this particular era in time, and find the one that stood out more then the others, and now I found out it was me.

I was the chosen, and now my life would change forever.

My parents would eventually find out that I will not be returned, and sadly Adam found out too.

There was nothing that I would do. I felt as if my one true mate, was ripped from me, We wanted to be unioned together, and be together for eons as our parents had done, but now that has all been taken from me.... us.

I was given a final day with family, and Adam, and I promised him, that this would not be the last for us, but as far as I was concerned the beginning. As I was called to move to my new sector, Adam held my hand and said Aria, you and I will never part, and I will call out to you every night before bed, and every morn as I wake, I promise.

As I lowered my head and walked away, Adam said, Aria, I love you. Aria, I love you.

I dreaded answering him, I wanted so much to say it in return, but I wanted to hear him say my name one last time.

Years had now past, and my learning had changed from simple childs play to alchemy, magick, the sciences, galactic reasoning, biology, and much, much more.

Though a day never went by that I did not think of Adam, I knew that some day him and I would be together, and I knew I could make that happen.

In my 7,000th year as student, I was told that I would be teacher, and that there would be a huge ceremony, and all that resided on the planet would attend, though excited that I had finally finished my learning, I knew that I would see Adam, and be returned to my love.

As the days approached, my excitement grew more and more. I asked the council if I could now remain in my sector with family, with Adam, and I was told all would be revealed during the ceremony.

The day has arrived. I am so excited, there was special seating, and as I walked on stage, I saw Adam, he is quite handsome, and never formed a union with another in hopes that he and I would be reunited.

As I sat next to my parents, and Adam, the Council announced that I was in fact chosen to start anew, a newly formed planet is in need and all that I learned was to be used there, and that I would be leaving immediately.

This was a great honor, and one that I could not reject, my parents and all that attended this ceremony are ecstatic that I have been chosen, all, except Adam and I.

With slight grins on our faces, we knew that we indeed would never have the opportunity to be together the way that we had hoped.

As the council called me to the podium, and teary eyed as everyone assumed it was due to my excitement, only Adam knew what it was for.

In a general way I thanked all that have taken the time to teach me, and that I would do everything in my power to make anew a place that is fresh, a new chapter can begin.

As I was whisked away, I looked at Adam, and finally said I love you, and I can see his lips form as he said Aria.

I have taken what I learned, and have formed this new place called Earth.

In one of my first doings on this planet, I have formed a placed called Edin, with happiness, beauty, love, and my very first creation was in honor of who I loved Adam, I made him a mate that was in my likeness, so that I could watch over them as they live the life that Adam and I could have had.

I created the two to be bound, but if separated they will feel the lose, I made love real.

I made sure that all that reside from here on in, whether from my original creation, or a visitor from another place, that love will always be recognized.

In honor of Adam and the last words he said, I have made my name one that will not be known, nor spoken correctly, though I have added my original name in my story, the pronunciation would still vary, according to those that read it,as there is only one person that I heard it from last, and that is a memory that I will keep forever.

This is my story. I am God, and I am love.
edit on 7-8-2013 by NoRegretsEver because: Fix brackets




posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 08:42 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


I'm in Grammar Nazi mode tonight as I read the short stories, and found yours. I read, SnF'd, and thought it was a great story.

However.....

You make too many sentences. I think that's the most common mistakes people make while writing.



We resided on a planet that in its time would be filled with people that were far more advanced then other planets that we visited.

We lived in a way that was mostly misunderstood by others way of living, and that was the way we wanted it.


Your are describing the story background here, and there's no need to say "We" four times. Just make one sentence, and think about the point you want to make.

For example:

We resided on a planet that in it's time would be filled with people that were far more advanced than the other planets that were visited, yet lived in a way that was mostly misunderstood by other's ways of living, and that was how it was wanted.


My advice?

Look out for duplicating words, such as "we" and "way". Try not to use so many of the same words, take a pause from writing, and think of synonyms. Use a thesaurus, or simply google the word. Don't try to rush a story out in one sitting. Work offline, in a word processor, and spit out a rough draft. Read it, then start to modify it. Tinker a bit, then get it to sound the way you really want. Remember, the Grammar Nazis are lurking right outside. When you post, make sure your heart is in it. I think you have the potential to unleash a tear-jerker, and you should shoot for that.

Great story, the next one should be better.


edit on 8/7/13 by Druid42 because: fixed a quote



posted on Aug, 7 2013 @ 08:52 PM
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reply to post by Druid42
 


Ummm..... thanks


Ok seriously though, I write from the heart, I had a text document open with 4 different writings, I get way to caught up and lose track, so I write what I feel, as opposed to expecting stars, flags, applause, or writer status.

I like sharing my stories the way that they are, they always make me happy when I come back and read them, believe it or not, I write these things when something I think is interesting comes up, but I write them for me.

And if someone enjoys it, well that great too


But thanks for the kind criticism,
NRE.



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