why do ex wives use children as weapons and then blame the dad for messing their head up...????

Careful with that statement man! Takes two to tango.
My experience, and I have a child is that when a relationship goes astry, both parents have a part in screwwing thier kids up. Usualy the most mature one's involved, that normaly being the children, have a tendancy to play one parent against the other. More so when the parents are not relating to each other like mature adults.

Your question is rather vauge.

OK. Ever had a call from your kid, and in the background you can her your ex. his mother telling him to say things, like I don't want to see you anymore dad etc.etc.

No thats pretty sick. Sorry to hear that.

The only advice a could give you, mate, is to let your child know how you feel, that you love them and care greatly for them. They have brains of their own. Generaly children will do and say things, so as not to dissapoint. I bet that if it was'nt a phone call, and you where visable, your child would be overjoyed to see you.
I know parents who have tried to turn their childern against thier spouse and have friend who have grown up in families where this has happened. It rarely works.

I hope it turns out good for you, mate.

Boom...this is from a women here and i mean no offence by this.

Your ex is one sick bitch!!!

If she is saying those things to your kids then she is obviously trying to feck with they're minds!

Since not having kids..i'm not the best person for info..but just let them know how inportant they are to you and tell them how much you love them.

Maddas' info is great....if your ex is doing this to your kids..it shows me who the better parent is! YOU

Regards
Gryffen

[Edited on 7-5-2003 by Gryffen]

hi, how old are your children???

This is an extremely evil thing to do and if your ex wife was proved to be doing this in a court of law, she would end up in serious trouble.

No matter no bitter and hurt your ex wife is, she should not use your child as a weapon, but unfortunately it seems as though that's all she has.

Try to get on with your life, you will always be your Childs father and providing he knows you love him, things will be ok.

Once he gets older, he will realise this woman's evil intentions and will probably end up despising her for trying to turn him against his father.

I have a son his 4 (oct 26 1998).

I want him, but know it won't happen.

I've even thought about just walking away so he could get on with his life and so she couldn't use me to mess with him.

I'd give my life so he wouldn't even feel just sadness.

Hes only 4 ..........It is a difficult age.......

Your ex wife plays a big part in his life...........Do you have any father's rights???


Im assuming that you do visit your son???
Then just be a good dad and dont say anything bad to him about his mum..........i know he is only 4 , but he will get older and he will come to understand who the better parent is..............
I cannot comment on your ex wife as i do not know her........but you seem pretty upset with the whole thing....


It must be difficult ............
I dont know what else to say.........
???

I never and will never slag of his mum. I don't dislike the woman I just don't love her.

I just want her to be like I am doing and thats thinking of him rather than how to get at me/her.

I want her to get on with her life and leave me to enjoy time with my son. Not phoning me all the time leaving messages saying he's realy porrly and needs to go to hosp. or getting 15 voice mails with her in the back ground saying things and his repeating them.

It does upset me and when I have him he never want to go home.

Here's one example. I phone her mobile to speak with him and I did and he was stood next to her whilst she was getting her f'ing nails done. HELLO, He's 4 he want to be playing not watching nails...>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

helen couldnt be more right. My mom and dad tried that with me, but didnt work. I think kids are pretty smart and can see which one is the actual better parent. No matter what your wife does, dont bad mouth her in front of the kid. Be a kind and gentle person/parent to your child, and tell them that you love them. Not only tell them you care, but SHOW them you do, by doing things with them, spending time with them, etc etc. I feel bad for your kid man, but no matter what happens, always look out for your child before yourself, and they'll love you in the end no matter what

boom, stay in touch with your son. I know exactly what your going through...man I feel for you. Serious.

don,t think that by giving in to her that things could be better for him, what he needs is "His" father. He will always want you as much or more than you realize. Please if you have any more questions about that matter, we'll be here.

If you havn't already, find out what the exact laws are for your situation.

[Edited on 7-5-2003 by ADVISOR]

THANKS. I've been made to feel the wanker in all this for too long.

She's had too much to say about me and not enough time for him.

Once again thanks.

Haven't reallt spoken to anybody about this, 'cause we are always made to feel the horrible one cause I was the one that left.

Boom....don't doubt yourself!

My cousin's parents are breaking up and she feels the same way...like she is caught between two people that are trying to rip up her world!

Kaeli is only 10, but i'm always saying to her that she is loved and her family will always be there for her.

Just try and hold on....remember...you'd be surprised at what some people can do when backed by friends!