We have failed as parents...

You know I was thinking, in light of all these children and teems who are being arrested for possible attacks on their schools, those kids are eventually found out to been picked on, parents putting their children on ADD and ADHD medication, I come to realize, we have failed as parents.
I was picked on, beat up, spit on, you name it, it happened to me as a kid growing up. We were one of the poorest families in the neighborhood, and my mother and stepdad had the rep of being the drunks of the neighborhood, in other words, white trash on Long Island NY. this was back in the 80's
Never ONCE did I EVER even THINK about killing anyone or blowing up the school. We just didnt think about doing that back then.
What did we do as parents, to fail our children, to make them think about doing these things?
Are we too busy in our lives to LISTEN to our kids?
Do we ignore our children, not see the warning signs that there is trouble?
We blame the kids when this happens, we blame the TV shows they watch, we blame the video games they play, we blame the weapons and devices they use, we blame the medication theyre put on, we blame the government, we blame EVERYTHING under the sun for these events, BUT we dont put the blame where it rests upon, US, THE PARENTS.
Take timew to talk to your kids. If your normally outgoing child becomes withdrawn and angry, spends long amounts of time in their room, STOP AND TALK TO THEM. Dont just talk to them, GET INVOLVED with them.
Its easy to say we are too busy, gotta pay bills, gotta work, but OUR CHILDREN NEED US.

reply to post by HomerinNC


Crazy happens. It is no one's fault. Of my peers I do not see parents neglecting kids. I do see parents opting out of social situations, so that they are there with their kids and for their kids.

we dont put the blame where it rests upon, US, THE PARENTS.

Ultimately, yes. But, the "parents" don't have the correct information most of the time, they have blind trust too, and believe whatever the TV tells them. So, parents' information is only as good as the source.

Blame the parents, or blame the source of the influence?
Society mimics & imitates what they see on TV, don't for 1 second believe TPTB don't know this.

Originally posted by HomerinNC
You know I was thinking, in light of all these children and teems who are being arrested for possible attacks on their schools, those kids are eventually found out to been picked on, parents putting their children on ADD and ADHD medication, I come to realize, we have failed as parents.
I was picked on, beat up, spit on, you name it, it happened to me as a kid growing up. We were one of the poorest families in the neighborhood, and my mother and stepdad had the rep of being the drunks of the neighborhood, in other words, white trash on Long Island NY. this was back in the 80's
Never ONCE did I EVER even THINK about killing anyone or blowing up the school. We just didnt think about doing that back then.
What did we do as parents, to fail our children, to make them think about doing these things?
Are we too busy in our lives to LISTEN to our kids?
Do we ignore our children, not see the warning signs that there is trouble?
We blame the kids when this happens, we blame the TV shows they watch, we blame the video games they play, we blame the weapons and devices they use, we blame the medication theyre put on, we blame the government, we blame EVERYTHING under the sun for these events, BUT we dont put the blame where it rests upon, US, THE PARENTS.
Take timew to talk to your kids. If your normally outgoing child becomes withdrawn and angry, spends long amounts of time in their room, STOP AND TALK TO THEM. Dont just talk to them, GET INVOLVED with them.
Its easy to say we are too busy, gotta pay bills, gotta work, but OUR CHILDREN NEED US.

edit on 1/8/2013 by HomerinNC because: (no reason given)

What's with all of the "we" lately....do you all have turds in your pocket or what? I haven't failed as a parent. I'm sorry if you have...

I grew up on Long Island NY and trace the disturbed, imbalanced minds back to peer pressure, entertainment/activities provided, and poor diet, mostly.

Children weren't consistently disciplined. School was a joke there were classes I passed that I only attended for final exams and nothing else, Kids in like 5th grade were already masturbating under their desks and exchanging porn vids from their bookbags without shame. Cigs, pot, guns and ammo flashed in high school locker room galore. When winter coats came off, baby momma bellies showed some didnt even know who the father was, some got abortions only to get pregnant again and again. Perverted teachers and principals.

Lots drugged up kids in high school. Prescription, street drugs, stealing money from parents or mugging other kids at knife/gunpoint just blocks from school. I wish I had alot of fond memories about childhood growing up in America, but I just dont. What I enjoyed most and still today, was working, being independent and travel outside of northamerica, what a breath of fresh air!

I dont know if it's always the parents fault, Maybe society has failed. TV / Internet tells the kids what they should wear, what music to listen to.
My 17 year old thinks she knows more than me, we had an argument last night and I basically told her when she's
lived 48 years she can tell me whats what. Off to the bedroom, slammed door and I didn't see her again all night.
I do get attitude from her, but she's not killing people.
All kids today have seen too much too early and their minds although more advanced than my generation are still immature and I dont believe can fully handle the stress of school, peer group pressure, media pressure etc.
She's 17 for fux sake, I also remember myself when I was 17 and I was a sh*t of a kid.
What goes around comes around.

Speak for yourself sweetheart!

Every day is a new adventure when you've got kids.
I've got 17yo 14yo 8yo and 7yo
Don't wait for someone to tell you how to parent, take your job by the balls and don't take crap from anyone about it.
Be firm be loving be patient be kind be respectful, and warn other people you will treat their children like they're your own, should they leave them in your company.

Take all the brilliant stuff you loved about your parents and their parenting style (leave behind the stuff you just didn't like) be grateful they gave you positives to work with and go from there.
You'll be fine.
Add your own stories and boundaries to suit both you and your kid, don't forget to let them express themselves in a safe environment, which is what home is.
The one place you should be free to just be, no matter what. That goes for your kids.

I scare the crap out of my kids friends,,,,that's how I make them like me and at the same time they are very respectful because of the many, many unknowns ......this is good.

I can't STAND other peoples kids, but geez they're cute!
Dirty smelly little snot nosed buggers, who'd 'av 'em!?!

Oh no..we have not failed as parents. We have had our right to parent/ discipline taken away by the state/ tptb.
All the rights have been given to the child and the government oversees that those rights are enforced.
If a parent tries to discipline their child even in a non abusive way, the child has all the rights to complain to authority figures that they are being bullied by their parents and authorities step in and take control of the child's life leaving parents reeling.
Kids have been given free reign to do as they please with no fear of consequence. These are the ones who will be running the show when we get old.
There will be no money , or resources left to care for us in our old age, nor any respect.
Throw us out on an ice flow like in days of old when we no longer can care for ourselves. One way ticket to hell, and generation " ME" is driving the bus.
The stupid thing is, in a school setting, the opposite becomes true. A child's rights in the classroom are nil.

More revisionist history, school violence is nothing new, a lot of schools struggled with gang violence from the 80s into the early 90s. This included gun violence. Outside of that though, there is a long history of school shootings in the US starting back in like the 1800s believe it or not. Heres a list from wikipedia, sources are listed at the bottom of the article.

1800s November 2, 1853: Louisville, Kentucky A student, Matthew Ward, bought a self-cocking pistol in the morning, went to school and killed schoolmaster Mr. Butler for excessively punishing his brother the day before. Even though he shot the schoolmaster point blank in front of his classmates, he was acquitted.[2]
September 11, 1859: Oakland, California Edward Carpenter accidentally shot himself dead while hunting on campus, he was one of the few students who were permitted to have a firearm at school.[3]
June 8, 1867: New York City At Public School No. 18, a 13 year old boy brought a pistol loaded and capped, without the knowledge of his parents or school-teachers, and shot and injured a classmate.[4]
December 22, 1868: Chattanooga, Tennessee A boy who refused to be whipped and left school, returned, with his brother and a friend, the next day to seek revenge on his teacher. Not finding the teacher at the school, they continued to his house, where a gun battle rang out, leaving three dead. Only the brother survived.[5]
June 23, 1871: Lagrange, Indiana Miss Anna Dwight was shot to death in front of her students by a rejected suitor[6]
March 9, 1873: Salisbury, Maryland After school as Miss Shockley was walking with four small children, she was approached by a Mr. Hall and shot. The Schoolmaster ran out, but Miss Shockley had died instantly. Hall threw himself under a train that night.[7]
May 24, 1879: Lancaster, New York As the carriage loaded with female students was pulling out of the school's stables, Frank Shugart, a telegraph operator, shot and severely injured Mr. Carr, Superintendent of the stables.[8] March 6, 1884: Boston, Massachusetts As news of Jesse James reached the east coast, young kids started to act in the same manner. An article from the New York Times reads, Another "Jesse James" Gang - Word was brought to the Fifth Police Station to-night that a number of boys were using the Concord-street School-house for some unknown purpose, and a posse of officers was sent to investigate. The gang scattered at the approach of the police, and in their flight one drew a revolver and fired at Officer Rowan, without effect, however. William Nangle, age 14, and Sidney Duncan, age 12, were captured, but the other five or six escaped, among them the one who did the shooting. The boys refused to disclose the object of their meeting, but it is thought that another "Jesse James" organization has been broken up.[9]
March 15, 1884: Gainesville, Georgia In the middle of the day, a group of very drunk Jackson County farmers left the Jug Tavern drinking and shooting their revolvers as they headed down the street driving people into their homes. As they approached the female academy, the girls fled the schoolyard into the school where the gang followed swearing and shooting, firing several rounds into the front door. No one was hurt.[10]
June 12, 1887: Cleveland, Tennessee Will Guess went to the school and fatally shot Miss Irene Fann, his little sister's teacher, for whipping her the day before.[11]
June 13, 1889: New Brunswick, New Jersey Charles Crawford, upset over an argument with a school Trustee, went up to the window and fired a pistol into a crowded school room. The bullet lodged in the wall just above the teacher's head.[12]
April 24, 1890 Brazil, Indiana While the pupils of the Meridian Street School were at play, Ben Corbery drew a revolver and shot Cora Brubach, aged 10, seriously wounding her in the face. The reason for the assault was that the girl had informed the teacher of Ben's misconduct.[13]
April 9, 1891: Newburgh, New York James Foster, 70, fired a shotgun at a group of students in the playground of St. Mary's Parochial School, causing minor injuries to several of the students. The first known mass shooting in the U.S. where students were shot by an American citizen.[14] The majority of attacks during this time period by students on other students or teachers usually involved stabbing with knives or hitting with stones.
December 28, 1898: Sioux City, Iowa Teacher, May Thomas was lured out of the schoolhouse by Harry Garvey who was devoted her, but she had refused his further attentions. He then pulled a revolver out and shot her dead, then killed himself.[15]

Source

There are shootings listed in that article for every decade leading up to today, please stop the melodramatics. I never thought about shooting up my school or another kid either, that doesnt mean other kids from my cohort have not thought about it and done it. Some people are just violent.

I think there is definately devolution going on.

Maybe it's the GMO's? The Fluride? Chemtrails? Reality Television?

I really don't know

We have gone from this

To this

I'm going to take the easy way out and say "It's Bush's fault.

I didn't fail as a parent. I was wise enough not to bring any kids into this world.

If you had a kid and could not provide for them enough money, resources, education, spiritual guidance. and the solid promise that they wont have to deal with any of this 1984 corrupt government crap we are going through, then, you failed as a parent. Thats all of you IMO. Bringing any kid into this world in this age is Stupid.

I'm glad to say my kids are now grown and are reasonable, responsible adults.

I think the problems that you speak about is a two fold issue.

One...you might be correct on some things...parents are very busy and stressed ou trying to make a home and in doing so, time has been taken away from the kids.

Two...the state has gotten all up in folks lives. When I was a kid, you got disciplined in school...I mean....paddlings. Not stupid detention or expulsion. Those were occasionally used back in my day and they were a laugh...most people screwed off in detention...you were a "bad boy" to the girls if you were in detention...and expulsion? Hah! That was like free time off and then you were like the bad boy superstar. There is no real discipline in schools anymore...it is a joke. From discipline comes fear of repercussion for one's actions...from fear of repercussions grows respect for others...it's that simple.

The state now wants to tell you how to teach and discipline your kids, what they can eat and drink...if a parent goes against those Gov Decrees...they are the bad ones and the Gov is happy to come take your kids and give them to some foster home that will abuse them and program them just as the Gov wants.

So yes, some parents have failed in a minor way...but the bulk of the behavioral problems is due to the Gov's involvement in people's private lives and the removal of being free to raise your children as your personal morality demands.

I think there is a whole ton of blame to go around! It seems like so many things contribute to these kids having difficulties...I'd say it's simply part of living in the world and being born into it with thin skin. That combination of being sensitive or having other mental issues and then getting thrown a bunch of crap from society(including parents) is just too much for some kids. What storms one child can weather and overcome versus what another child can endure are really quite dependent of oodles of factors, I'd guess.

From what I understand the guy in CT came from a well off family, but he had mental difficulties, was possibly on meds(which could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on other factors), and on top of that divorced parents, he was isolated from his peers, lived on his computer( too much fantasy perhaps?) the reports say that his mom was very caring toward him, but I have yet to hear about the boys relationship with his dad? (maybe I missed that though....sandy hook threads were just too much for me and so I haven't really kept up).

That is one example, but I know for me personally, I tend to be emotionally raw, so things that other people aren't easily affected by, I really feel. Sometimes, just being out in society for extended periods drives me crazy....so I can only imagine a person who has to deal with all the pressures of this world, plus has a broken family structure, plus has some form of mental difficulty. Recipe for disaster....

And yet, there are so many who have these same problems.....who never do this sort of thing......

Maybe that is one reason why people are having a hard time believing this sandy hook story, on top of the terrible media screw ups, it. Just seems so damn hard to see how a person could do this.

we look for answers in our attempt to understand, hoping in our hearts, if we can just understand, we can keep things like this from happening again. At least, that is what I have been doing.

I grew up in the 60's and 70's....
a whole different world than know...
I live in a rather small town, a village for part of my childhood.
I got to tell you something here.
there was no need for my mom to worry much when I went out to play, and
I lived on the main street of town.
ya, there was school violence back then, but it was in the much larger cities, not little villages like I grew up in.
I was 5 years old and walking to and from school with my friends, no worries for my mom...
if I was to do anything wrong, guess what, everyone knew who I was, and I knew it, I knew that my mom would know long before I got home if I even as much as crossed the street the wrong way.

now days, nope, it's all gone, it was gone in the 80's when I raised my kids in that very same, although much more modern city. the parents were more likely to come screaming at you about your kids, or gossip behind your backs, and of course, everyone thought their kids were perfect little angels. you can't expect the kids to act more grown up than the adults around them. and no matter how adult and proper the parent is, having kids laying in bed half the night hearing the neighbors shouting obscenities up and down the street while they sit out and party is gonna give your kids a few new words in their vocabulary, words you might have never used, maybe even never heard of before. I got totally ticked off at one of those parents when she came complaining to me about my kid's "potty mouth" ...the word he used had never been used before in my home, although I had heard it used outside...
I turned around and told here...Don't expect my kids to be more adult that you adults!! You's sit out there half the night partying, shouting such words up and down the street. I've never heard that word spoken out of any of my kid's mouths, nor have I heard it spoken in my home!! But, I have heard it spoken outside while my kids lie awake trying to sleep! I imagine that is where he picked it up from! and then I shut the door on her!!!

in general, I think it's society that is to blame. when I was grown up, there wouldn't have been so many who could manage to sit outside partying all night, they all had jobs to go to in the morning. they had better communication skills and there was at least a resemblance of a community spirit!
now, we have what we have.
I don't believe it's good for a child to not be able to go out and explore on their own, without adult supervision. We shouldn't have to worry about these kids as much as we have to. Society should be responsible for providing a safe environment to explore. if they grow up always with adults laying down and enforcing the rules, they do not learn by natural ways the consequences of their actions till it's too late...

Originally posted by Mijamija

From what I understand the guy in CT came from a well off family, but he had mental difficulties, was possibly on meds(which could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on other factors), and on top of that divorced parents, he was isolated from his peers, lived on his computer( too much fantasy perhaps?) the reports say that his mom was very caring toward him, but I have yet to hear about the boys relationship with his dad? (maybe I missed that though....sandy hook threads were just too much for me and so I haven't really kept up).

That is one example, but I know for me personally, I tend to be emotionally raw, so things that other people aren't easily affected by, I really feel. Sometimes, just being out in society for extended periods drives me crazy....so I can only imagine a person who has to deal with all the pressures of this world, plus has a broken family structure, plus has some form of mental difficulty. Recipe for disaster....

And yet, there are so many who have these same problems.....who never do this sort of thing......

Maybe that is one reason why people are having a hard time believing this sandy hook story, on top of the terrible media screw ups, it. Just seems so damn hard to see how a person could do this.

we look for answers in our attempt to understand, hoping in our hearts, if we can just understand, we can keep things like this from happening again. At least, that is what I have been doing.

Slow down a bit, we don't even know for sure yet if Lanza was the shooter or if he was a victim. We may never know because the "investigation" is swiss cheese. But one of the things they have thrown out for public consumption is that he was homeschooled, which is almost as dangerous to the status quo as guns.

That's part of the reason I wrote this thread:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

reply to post by frazzle


Please stay on topic, this isn't about the CT shootings, this is about why kids today are killing others, no specific case is mentioned, there are a ton other threads to talk about the CT conspiracy

My kids are 24 and 23. They have no criminal records, make more money than me, and drive new cars. They are doing great. I did not fail as a parent. But then, I did not have a woman in my house screwing things up with touchy feely nonsense. My kids screwed up they got the belt or the paddle. I didn't run them to the doctor every time they got a sniffle. I did not coddle them and tell them they were winners when they weren't. I made them winners by teaching them things. I made them winners by enforcing discipline.

Parents now days don't do that. If their kid won't shut up and pay attention in school they drug them. I whupped mine until they did what they were told. And I NEVER ONCE hid them from anything adult like boobies or cursing. While I did discourage them from watching people get murdered on tv I encouraged them to see boobs and adult situations. They had questions and I answered them and did not dumb down the answers.

Parents today aren't even adults. They are creating a generation of weak, lazy, dumbed down retards. My generation are the worst generation and I am in my 40's. My "peers" disgust me. They refuse to tell the truth because they do not know it and run from it when it bares it's ugly head.

You can't raise kids that way. They need a guide to show them right from wrong. They need a parent to be there for them. I made my own job so they never came home to an empty house. I did not date for 16 years because women coming in and out of the house will reek havoc on a child. I did what was best for them, not what they wanted.

Parents today have no idea how to raise kids. Period.

It is a degradation in society that is causing this. When the woman started working it caused a loss of control of the morals of many of the young in the country also. A loss in the structure of the American family. This is so complex that it is hard to pin things on one particular issue. From depersonalization caused by violent interactive videos and games to a loss of morals because of less belief in good. Many have been conditioned to believe in wealth instead of the family and community. We have given our young things they want instead of what they need to promote economic growth. This means that our treats and rewards we used to have have become everyday things and to acquire better and better has become a part of society.

Give me a pot of good homemade soup made from soup bones and good vegetables and it makes me happy. A homemade Pasty is so much better than the commercial crap out there that contains MSG or other manmade chemistry that attracts us to it. Attractants of both natural and unnatural kinds are added to foods so we desire them. This chemistry is leading us to the same degradation because nothing is good enough. If we eat a T-bone steak too often, soon nothing else but top quality steak is good enough. We need to humble ourselves a little to see what is wrong and why our brain chemistry has gone awry. The polarization of our society is a direct result of what is happening, people feel they are better than others and deserve more. If they cannot get what they think they should, they revolt against those who have. This is not the human nature that made us a great country. So what if many are richer or poorer than me. It is my honesty and integrity that I feel makes people worth knowing, not their wealth or color or physical shape. A person hooked on beauty and body shape is very messed up yet society touts these people as better. Personality and honesty make a person better not beauty. Severely overweight people are sick, a problem created by eating chemistry of food that is not for them. I study this, I understand that fat is not always unhealthy, it is what is stored in those fat cells that may be unhealthy.

So to blame it on the parents is wrong, we have to blame this on the present perception of society. The people that are doing these mass shootings come from upper middle class families in most part. That is a clue to our problem. Too much change too fast is not good.

Originally posted by HomerinNC
reply to post by frazzle

 

Please stay on topic, this isn't about the CT shootings, this is about why kids today are killing others, no specific case is mentioned, there are a ton other threads to talk about the CT conspiracy

edit on 1/8/2013 by HomerinNC because: (no reason given)

Sorry, I wasn't the one who brought it up. If you spent much time at the schools your kid attends you'd know why kids are killing people. School is what drives kids crazy and its where they're diagnosed with all those acronyms and drugged to keep them in line. Not that it works.

reply to post by rickymouse


when were the women not working?? just wondering here???

I mean I can show you old picture of women working back in time...they were working!

and well, to be honest, my mom worked as a bartender at the neighborhood bar...
my father worked at the city water plant...
and well, alot of times their schedules clashed and I ended up going to work with one or another...
(how many kids do you see in bars today?)
I grew up in danged bars, it taught me one thing...
I hate drunks!!
but, well, my mom worked had to. my grandma worked, had to, and well before that one they were working at home producing quilts and other sewing things for money..
so, when were they not working.