Great Sadness

Hi Everyone,


I've been an ats member for quite some time but never really contributing, always in the shadows reading and processing everyon'e views and information.

Now I need your help, I've tried to post this in a more appropriate forum but i do not have access to do so yet. Please accept my apology upfront for my lack of grammar or spelling, english is not my first language.

This may seem as ranting or being whinny possibly but I needed your feedback as i've lost faith in conventional medicines and psychotherapy

I was diagnosed with severe depression over 5 years ago officially but feeling great sadness way before then, a feeling of loneliness and i do not understand why, I've got a fantastic wife, great kids, a job, a house etc. etc. i've tried many time to self convince myself that i have it good and there are many more less fortunate than i around me but just doesn't work. i've got lots of love for everyone but great sadness at the same time. I'm a listener, for some reason everyone in my entourage even strangers after sitting down with me for a couple minutes recount issues and personal problems to me and i listen and give them kind words to make them feel better and they do and they walk away with a huge smile, which brings me great hapiness, but not the kind thats just on the surface but very deep hapiness but then a few moments later the great sadness comes back, i can't escape it, i've had thought of "you know what' at times but just thoughts and worked through them on my own.

I've read lots on these forums and from time to time i get a feeling i am somekind of negative energy sponge, i can't watch the news anymore, it's getting so bad that i have issues coming to this site sometimes.

please help.

ATS is a community, yes.... and welcome....warm welcome!

There are some very good listeners here.

(I'm really not sure what to make of this.
But, if you are in despair, please don't rely on internet forums to help you ..... go to a professional..)

reply to post by ascensyon


In addition to the above I would suggest that you consider a 10-day brown rice fast, reading some mystical poetry of Rumi, and taking a spiritwalk if you can get there.

OP: A few hours ago I spent some time looking up some links for someone else here on ATS.

I got distracted and never sent them but the notepad file is still open on the PC.

I just read your post and immediately thought about all the links I just saved.

Perhaps they were for you instead.

I don't believe in accidents OR luck.

What Are You Living For?
www.abovetopsecret.com...

There is only ONE way you will ever hope to find the answers to all your questions
www.abovetopsecret.com...

YOU ARE CHOSEN BY GOD FOR A DESIGNATED PURPOSE
www.abovetopsecret.com...

The Purpose of Your Life
www.abovetopsecret.com...

You have a PURPOSE. ALL beings have a purpose
www.abovetopsecret.com...

We have been conditioned to DENY REALITY
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Set your heart on a pilgrimage to be great in eternity
www.abovetopsecret.com...

The real agenda behind all false religions
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Spirituality is the ultimate conspiracy and it is the elite's PRIMARY target
www.abovetopsecret.com...

The reason that NOTHING is as it seems
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Without the truth, you WILL be deceived
www.abovetopsecret.com...

CONNECTING with God and our purpose in life should be every ones goal in life
www.abovetopsecret.com...

reply to post by ascensyon


I agree with Wildtimes.

I don't think you're going to find the answers you're looking for here. Information and ideas yes, but answers? unlikely.

reply to post by ascensyon


If there is anything here on this earth which is to be compared to tribulation.... it is the people that care for others and the horrors they see on this earth. You are right to be depressed about these things. Its the worlds fault for being so full of crap... not yours for caring.

I can only hope you hold on with faith that the world will become the place i believe it can be. If i had the power i would smash this world into a thousand peices if just to stop your tears.

Dont ever forget that i love you.

thank you all for replying, I was refreshing this page hoping for a quick response for some reason, i felt the urge to post.

I have resorted to proffesional help and they never seem to know what to do or throw me into a fix all solution, i gave up, but i thank you either way for your help (first poster)

To the 2nd poster thank you , you've presented something new to me that i will research

to the 3rd poster, this may sound corny or "ya ya he's just saying this" but you've got me excited. i will spend a few hours reading your links.

I feel like i need a huge mental break. like turn off my brain or something, sleep does no help and nothing from the mainstream helped.

reply to post by ascensyon


Something may be sapping your energy. What sort of thoughts, what persons, places and things come up in the mind on a regular basis?

Originally posted by Wertdagf
reply to post by ascensyon

 

If there is anything here on this earth which is to be compared to tribulation.... it is the people that care for others and the horrors they see on this earth. You are right to be depressed about these things. Its the worlds fault for being so full of crap... not yours for caring.

I can only hope you hold on with faith that the world will become the place i believe it can be. If i had the power i would smash this world into a thousand peices if just to stop your tears.

Dont ever forget that i love you.

please bare with me as im new to posting in forums, thank you Wertdagf, you made me smile. i love everyone too even the people that hurt others but also feel great sadness.

Originally posted by Logarock
reply to post by ascensyon

 

Something may be sapping your energy. What sort of thoughts, what persons, places and things come up in the mind on a regular basis?

thoughts? more feeling sadness when i see others , i worry immediately ask people around me if they're ok when i see them frown, on a grander scale, everything on this planet, simple things from people callingeach other names on the internet, right up to random misguided individuals in the middle east killing each other while the righ laugh.

Originally posted by ascensyon

Originally posted by Logarock
reply to post by ascensyon

 

Something may be sapping your energy. What sort of thoughts, what persons, places and things come up in the mind on a regular basis?

thoughts? more feeling sadness when i see others , i worry immediately ask people around me if they're ok when i see them frown, on a grander scale, everything on this planet, simple things from people callingeach other names on the internet, right up to random misguided individuals in the middle east killing each other while the righ laugh.

the one thing that comes to mind that seem to completely disable all this is when i spend time with my 19 months old son that smiles at me.

reply to post by ascensyon


I don't know what you are going through in your life and I can't pretend to be able to fix it, but I can offer a tiny bit of advice.

1. Seek a counselor. I know there is a lot of stigma associated with talking to a professional but I think that after unloading on them you will feel a great weight lifted off your shoulders.

2. Don't let the people around you be emotional vampires. People will dump their problems on your already-burdoned shoulders to make themselves feel lighter. At first you feel like you're helping them by accepting their burdon but it really weighs you down.

3. Keep a list of things that make you happy. When you notice something really cheers you up, write it down. Simple things. A pot of hot Earl Grey tea, your child laughing, a certain kind of music, clean sheet night.. any of that. Refer to your list as needed for a pick-me-up.

I hope my small tips will help but I think the first one is the most important. I hope you feel better.

Welcome to ATS, I will be sending you warm thoughts

Upon further reading of your posts, I see that you have tried conventional 'professional help'.. maybe you aren't looking for convention. Perhaps you could seek out a native american shaman to talk to, or a buddhist, or an eastern medicine healer. Maybe you just haven't found the counselor that you click with, yet. Please don't give up hope.

Originally posted by ascensyon

Originally posted by Logarock
reply to post by ascensyon

 

Something may be sapping your energy. What sort of thoughts, what persons, places and things come up in the mind on a regular basis?

thoughts? more feeling sadness when i see others , i worry immediately ask people around me if they're ok when i see them frown, on a grander scale, everything on this planet, simple things from people callingeach other names on the internet, right up to random misguided individuals in the middle east killing each other while the righ laugh.

Try some self trauma. Try talking to self like this..."self, its time to get that head outa that azz. What are you whining about today?" ect. All the people killing themselves in the middle east may just be to big of a problem for you to bother yourself with. Try changing brands of things you use, when you find some other brand is better it has the effect of you understanding you were wrong and set in your ways to the point that you wouldnt try anthing else and your brand wasnt better.

I was diagnosed with severe depression over 5 years ago officially but feeling great sadness way before then, a feeling of loneliness and i do not understand why,

Hey, you just have to figure out whats up and deal with it. I don't think anybody here can tell you what you probably know.

Things (some things) I do when I feel like crap is usually read a good book, watch a good movie, go to the park and walk my ass off (that really helps) you just goota do "it".

I live by myself (and a cat) so if I can do it you can do it. Keep your interest up, thats the ticket! Lots of stuff to do!

reply to post by ascensyon


I think you maybe have too much empathy. Some people with this work in a caring setting so they can use this skill at work.
You need to find a way to shut this off though, as its making you very sad.

hey, how are you going? I hope you are okay.

I went through many many years of extremely severe depression and loneliness/isolation...

I guess the only thing we can rely on is that change always comes, and that there could be light just around the corner.

When i'm feeling sad i find that being around animals or small children cheers me up - they are so full of joy...also plants are nice to be around...

Perhaps you should do something you like doing, treat yourself, or find some activity that cheers you up and makes you smile for a while e.g. watch some comedy on tv, or have an acupuncture session... whatever you can do to lift you up for a little while...


i guess all we can do is keep trying to focus on the positives in life, and the gifts that we do have - like family, children and so on...


All the best, and i hope that you feel better soon.

Originally posted by ascensyon

Originally posted by Logarock
reply to post by ascensyon

 

Something may be sapping your energy. What sort of thoughts, what persons, places and things come up in the mind on a regular basis?

thoughts? more feeling sadness when i see others , i worry immediately ask people around me if they're ok when i see them frown, on a grander scale, everything on this planet, simple things from people callingeach other names on the internet, right up to random misguided individuals in the middle east killing each other while the righ laugh.

there's nothing wrong with you imo, you just have a LOT of empathy for people - for everyone...

people who are like this often feel like they're bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders... because they care...

caring about and loving others is a good thing.

But sometimes i think maybe you need to focus more on what makes you happy - be kind to yourself - because no one wants to see you down -

take time away from the big issues, switch off the tv, or ATS or whatever is getting you down...

play with your child or do something fun

it's hard these days with so much going on in the world but we have to stay strong, and sometimes the only way is to take a break from all the bad stuff....and focus on the happy stuff....

maybe you're long overdue for a holiday somewhere with no tv and some nice beaches and pina colada?