posted on Dec, 21 2012 @ 08:30 PM
I've been an ats member for quite some time but never really contributing, always in the shadows reading and processing everyon'e views and
Now I need your help, I've tried to post this in a more appropriate forum but i do not have access to do so yet. Please accept my apology upfront for
my lack of grammar or spelling, english is not my first language.
This may seem as ranting or being whinny possibly but I needed your feedback as i've lost faith in conventional medicines and psychotherapy
I was diagnosed with severe depression over 5 years ago officially but feeling great sadness way before then, a feeling of loneliness and i do not
understand why, I've got a fantastic wife, great kids, a job, a house etc. etc. i've tried many time to self convince myself that i have it good
and there are many more less fortunate than i around me but just doesn't work. i've got lots of love for everyone but great sadness at the same
time. I'm a listener, for some reason everyone in my entourage even strangers after sitting down with me for a couple minutes recount issues and
personal problems to me and i listen and give them kind words to make them feel better and they do and they walk away with a huge smile, which brings
me great hapiness, but not the kind thats just on the surface but very deep hapiness but then a few moments later the great sadness comes back, i
can't escape it, i've had thought of "you know what' at times but just thoughts and worked through them on my own.
I've read lots on these forums and from time to time i get a feeling i am somekind of negative energy sponge, i can't watch the news anymore,
it's getting so bad that i have issues coming to this site sometimes.