reply to post by darkbake
I like your idea of "being happy means being true to yourself", because even if we aren't our thoughts, we know which thoughts are more in TUNE
with our true self when we see if those thoughts make us feel "happy" or "sad".
So, about "having control - but still feeling like you don't have control leading to frustration", or
"Not having control but feeling like you do which leads to happiness regardless"
Maybe the BEST approach is to start with controlling the mind and THEN controlling your circumstances. Because no matter how much power you have,
you'll never feel in control (or satisfied) until your MIND is in harmony with what you want.
If you want to be happy, think happy thoughts, stay away from unhappy thoughts, and let your actions arise from there...
If you want power, think empowering thoughts, stay away from dis-empowering thoughts, and let your actions arise from there...
If you are "controlling" others, then you do not really feel empowered, which is why you must control OTHERS to make what you want happen - you lack
your own power...
If someone makes you angry and you punch them, you may "feel good" fighting with them, because you FEEL that they shouldn't have said whatever they
said, but that is not really happiness, that action of fighting with another is RESULT of ANGRY, not happiness...
So start with the mind's FOCUS on how what you want is ALREADY in your life by changing the perspective (happiness, freedom, power) and THEN let the
ACTIONS arise from there.
That would be my advice.