Indigo Child... He is trying to understand his thoughts and feelings, and for the most hoping that they will go away.
Every single day, I have psychotic thoughts of harming people. Which eventually drove me to gangbanging me being a former inner city teen. Although I
am away from the streets I still to this day get psychotic thoughts. On the outside I am a very nice guy who listens and I enjoy helping other people
with their problems. I also think thats what I use to excape my own problems. I often dream about doing harmful things to people whom i dislike, and
feel neutral too, but I know deep inside I can ever do those things. I find myself day dreaming about harming people in a the most volgar and
discusting way possible, which i would never talk about in detail. But although I know I cant ignore these thoughts, I know I am not insane enough to
carry them out.
Sometimes I think about putting those thoughts to use by becoming a horror movie director, as I can relate to the new scary movies I see in hollywood.
But sometimes I dont think they know how real it is.
This is really embrassing for me, but i do hope it helps someone out there to just keep a positive mind, and remind yourself that you are not what
your evil counterpart wants you to be
|
