reply to post by WWu777
As I have gone through life there are matters which, no matter how hard to sympathise with, I came to realise were beyond me. It can, in a way, be
likened to a story I heard some years back about a French woman who worked in the Gestapo headquarters in Paris while all along being an agent of the
Resistance. It seems to me that if I am brutally honest with myself I cannot say I would have had the courage to do what she did. No matter how much
I might wish it I don't believe there is any way of knowing how I would stand up to such a challenge bar finding myself in that position. I have
never experienced anything like her situation and years later after much consideration I am no closer to truly knowing the answer. (Although through
gaining a deeper understanding over the years and being a little more mature I may be less deluded about my abilities - not willing to shout 'Yea,
piece o' cake').
Even if I had the courage to attempt what she did, something that I could only hope would be the case, would my courage be strong enough for me to
carry off the deception? There are so many factors to consider that it seems impossible answer with complete certainty 'Yes'.
That's just one example of a situation which I think has to be experienced to be fully understood and an example of the answers we get being
dependant of how deeply we consider the question, but I think it is more than fair to extend that understanding (extreme though the example is)
elsewhere in life, particularly here.
1) I think here you are mixing up or, and I mean no insult here, confusing the idea of love with sexual desire. It is easy to see in the question a
separation of the two. You talk of marriage and children, well, if we take the stating position here to be one of genuine love, that then is the
answer to the first part. It may be simple but there really is nothing more to it. Of course, bar passing Go and finishing the game, there is no
guarantee on anything in life but being in love is the (or at least an) answer here - to this first part. It depends on your attitude toward sex.
You may be someone who craves new experiences and someone to whom the idea of new partners every weekend seems the only way of satiating your desires.
Such antics though are not only far from all that this aspect of our lives has to offer but many would say such a perspective comes only from one who
has a limited understanding of the matter. (Here I mean no offence - all of our understandings are limited). Here though is the answer to 'How are
you supposed to...' the answer is an incarnation of the love between you. Here is a quote of something I read the other day:
[meeting you] was like I had walked in shade of a dreary, autumn, leaf strewn wood all my life and then came across a clearing in which the
sun shone down upon the most beautiful flower. Your face is light itself to me. Your smile parts the clouds. Your embrace... being in your arms
makes the universe itself seem unimportant. You are my drug. You are more than all things to me and I love you. Utterly.
There are times, you would be right in highlighting, where things may not play out so. Well, in that situation I would suggest the answer lies
between the couple. Who knows what resolution may be reached? I think it's a question which depends far too much on the nature of the individuals
involved and their relationship to approach with a quick comment here.
2) No, no, no, no and no. Such a scenario can be the case, of course, but I would suggest there is something wrong with the relationship if that is
so and that does not have to have anything to do with being married. To the last part of your question 'Are these good things?' the answer is
obviously a no. It seem here that the blame in a failed relationship is being heaped upon the idea of marriage, something with many see as nothing but
a public declaration of their love while others view it as a solemn commitment - how you view the matter is personal but I don't think that merely by
tagging a particular label to a relationship you automatically condemn it to a certain path. It may
have an effect; it may encourage the
couple to strive through problems or it may make it feel there is a pressure. To heap all the blame of a failed relationship upon that single
attribute though seems short sighted to me.
3) What's the point of... Ok, I'd answer with a question: What's the point of life? Or a re-wording of the question: Why spend your life with
someone you love more than the sky? Why raise children who grip you with a love so beautiful and strong you had no idea such a thing existed before
and who hold in their face the ability to send your heart soaring above all clouds with a simple smile?
Your questions are those of youth. Now I feel old. Thanks. :p