Second Time Around...

Last year, between April and December I had two relationships with two different women. The first I started dating in April and it fizzled out in September; the other I started dating near the end of October and that fizzled out before the New Year.

Last week the more recent woman contacted me and we’ve been hanging out; last night the previous woman also contacted me. Both relationships ended in similar ways; (The first I was very serious about not so much about the more recent) both decided respectively they did not want relationships – to make a long story short, they both left me high and dry. The one that contacted me again last night actually caused some heartache.

So here I am, on the verge of seeing them both again - at the same time (just my luck huh?) and I’m wondering if I should be upfront with them about one another or just let them both run their course (since there’s no serious commitment as of yet) without leading them on, both of which refused the same courtesy to me.

Half of me wants to just have my way with them both, but the other half wants to be upfront – and then on top of that I honestly cannot chose between them although I am leaning towards the April-September one. But she really pulled an 86 on me so I don’t know; I probably just enjoyed her body/sex more…

I’m open to advice and or similar stories with outcomes.

Thanks Everyone –

CB

Admittedly I dont know you but after reading your post I am inclined to think perhaps you are not happy with yourself?

Maybe just take some time and figure out who you are and what you really want before jumping back into or starting a new relationship.

I may be way off base, just how I read it.

reply to post by ConspiracyBuff


yes tell them both so one will try much harder then the other and once you make your choice she will leave you because she has won. Never Never make a competition for your affection unless you plan on having one of them hang around just out of site of the other. I suggest you find a third girl date both the exs tell them about each other and in the end pick the new girl. Yet tell both when you end it you picked the other.

reply to post by ConspiracyBuff


My opinion? Exes are exes for a reason. Don't forget what happened the first go around or you're just setting yourself up for failure again. The first time these women hurt you was their fault.........if it happens again it's your fault.

reply to post by coven83


I can see how you would think that. My philosophy is forgiveness and acceptance so I try and practice it.

reply to post by ConspiracyBuff


personlly i think if you have two chicks that want you at the same time its time to suggest a threeway, if one says yes and one says no than you know which one to pick, the one that says no. If a girl is really into you she doesnt want to share you with anybody. If they both say yes than your a winner and you go about your life. If they both say no than most likley a response to your question will most likley will result in one of them calling you back and trying to work things out, and if you hear from niether one than your free to find the next one(or two!) lol

Originally posted by DocHolidaze
reply to post by ConspiracyBuff

 

personlly i think if you have two chicks that want you at the same time its time to suggest a threeway, if one says yes and one says no than you know which one to pick, the one that says no. If a girl is really into you she doesnt want to share you with anybody. If they both say yes than your a winner and you go about your life. If they both say no than most likley a response to your question will most likley will result in one of them calling you back and trying to work things out, and if you hear from niether one than your free to find the next one(or two!) lol

Genius

Originally posted by ConspiracyBuff
I probably just enjoyed her body/sex more…

edit on 14-10-2012 by ConspiracyBuff because: (no reason given)

You think?

Man up and be upfront with them. Talk to them like they're people, not women you can "have you way with". You seem to see women like the way some people see drugs. Like there's a shortage of them and you have to catch them while you can. Trust me, there's no shortage. They're a renewable recourse. They do have babies you know.

Anybody can can have sex, it takes a real man to have a real relationship.

Sounds like you're down here: youtu.be...

While you seem to be heading up here: youtu.be...

Keep walking friend.....you'll "make it up" if you want it.

The exploratory years before marriage are that. Have fun, OP. Nowhere is marriage an issue in your OP, you are just dating, and deciding. There's no commitment, and therefore, you have free reign.

If you were to say you were engaged to the one chick, and the other wanted back in, well, I'd pull the plug in that scenario. You are not engaged. You are single. Rule.

Honestly, enjoy your freedom. Don't decide. Roll, and pick the girl that treats you the best. That should be your guiding factor. The girl that makes you happiest wins.

Simple.

If she left you once she'll do it again when a better opertunity presents itself. And it will.

Drop them both. Keep the ego boost.

reply to post by ConspiracyBuff

The thing is dude they most likely know all this already, I would say do as you will. These sort of things however are decided long before anybody actually makes any moves, and trust me you know what your going to do...And they know what they are going to do, and they also know what you will do as well. In fact with females usually the more females are attracted to you the higher the chances that others will as well be attracted to you, yes they literally look for the playboys in a way, and really if you want them to go away just act like a nice guy or like your lost and the complete opposite of confidence and they will move on.

So they may say otherwise, usually after the whole thing is done, but it would come as no surprise to both of them that your seeing the other as well. And in some cases for some they even look for that just as much as some dudes look for sleeping with more then one woman. The rest is just pretty much the way they go about achieving that, and in dealing with it when its lost its luster.

So I would say this whole thing is of no significance what so ever. Chose whatever your going to chose, all of you should do as you will, because frankly that is what you will do anyways.