The "I hate everything, my life sucks, I'm gonna kill myself" mentality

Originally posted by DarknStormy

Originally posted by OpenEars123
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Anti-depressants DO work, but the doctor might need to mix and match until he/she finds the right ones.

Not all the time. Sometimes it can lead to other health issues and worse bouts of depresson etc..

Hence why i said that the docs need to mix and match until it's right. However anti depressants won't work for 'everybody' but the minority really 'are' the minority. It also depends how good your GP is.

reply to post by aaaiii


Hey,

There are legitamently depressed people and then there are others, why is it wrong to try to distinguish the two?

Some people have lived through serious abuse, I have. I have been depressed, I used to do risky things in hopes to end it, but I had to work through it alone, because people don't understand or care. I'm still severely effected by things, and still don't talk about them, because I don't want to be a burden...or have people look at me differently.

Also I have many family members diagnosed with manic depression, including both my parents , grandfathers and cousins.

If you're suicidal its a secret pain not something you go around professing to everyone. I don't know this person, why couldn't she be seeking attention?

Not all people claiming to be depressed are, just like many seriously depressed people pretened to be ok....there is nothing wrong with with using your judgement and not be sucked into someones emotional problems when there is nothing you can do.

reply to post by kat2684

My argument is don't minimize legitimate depression. People are hurting out there.

reply to post by aaaiii


I do agree with that completely,

I would also tell someone there is only so much help you can provide, if you feel its hurting your psyche...then maybe its time to give them space, but not cut them off completely.

I feel for depressed people, I don't feel for people who don't suffer and use a legitament illness that countless people struggle with to their advantage. That does minimize the perception of people who struggle.

Originally posted by OpenEars123

Originally posted by DarknStormy

Originally posted by OpenEars123
[
Anti-depressants DO work, but the doctor might need to mix and match until he/she finds the right ones.

Not all the time. Sometimes it can lead to other health issues and worse bouts of depresson etc..

Hence why i said that the docs need to mix and match until it's right. However anti depressants won't work for 'everybody' but the minority really 'are' the minority. It also depends how good your GP is.

Your right, some people can take to certain meds while others can't. But the problem is that depression may not be the only issue in this situation. the person being discussed needs to see someone and get a proper diagnosis to what is actually going on with her. For all she knows, she could have another disorder. Bipolar etc.. Depression is linked to a different variety of mental illnesses and that is the reason why it is important to get a good GP and a very good diagnosis.

I only say this because I have struggled with depression since about 2003 and only this year I was diagnosed with Bipolar1. There are so many different avenues, its just finding the right issue at hand.

Yeah

Originally posted by DarknStormy

Originally posted by OpenEars123

Originally posted by DarknStormy

Originally posted by OpenEars123
[
Anti-depressants DO work, but the doctor might need to mix and match until he/she finds the right ones.

Not all the time. Sometimes it can lead to other health issues and worse bouts of depresson etc..

Hence why i said that the docs need to mix and match until it's right. However anti depressants won't work for 'everybody' but the minority really 'are' the minority. It also depends how good your GP is.

Your right, some people can take to certain meds while others can't. But the problem is that depression may not be the only issue in this situation. the person being discussed needs to see someone and get a proper diagnosis to what is actually going on with her. For all she knows, she could have another disorder. Bipolar etc.. Depression is linked to a different variety of mental illnesses and that is the reason why it is important to get a good GP and a very good diagnosis.

I only say this because I have struggled with depression since about 2003 and only this year I was diagnosed with Bipolar1. There are so many different avenues, its just finding the right issue at hand.

]

Well strangely enough i agree with you too. I also suffered ftom depression in the past, and also suffered with severe PTSD. My partner also has bi polar disorder, so im pretty up to date with this stuff.
I just hope she can learn to love herself again, and gave the proper support whilst doing it. Most of the SSRI'S out there can help, depending the doc finds the right ones. And hopefully the prescription will be a short one to help her find the way.

I don't believe in that "You can't help or fix other people no matter how hard you try" stuff. I do understand you can only help other people if they're trying to help themselves, but to think that you can't make any difference to your friends and loved ones isn't true, because when I was going through the same thing, other people made a difference to me.

I also don't think anti-depressants work very well. When I was on them, at first it made me very monotone and blank, then after a couple months, it started making me see and hear things. Other people I knew on anti-depressants have either become really blank--lost their drive completely--or they experience the adverse scary part, the hallucinating. Along with that, I am kind of a believer in the "medication is brainwash" kind of things. I really think it has bad effects on the mind--and if you listen to the commercials, it has bad effects on the rest of you, too. I don't know much about anxiety medication, and I know my friend used to take them, and technically she's still supposed to be taking them... but I've only known her for about a year, and I didn't know her when she was on her meds, so I'm not sure if it helps her much or not.

She's not just seeking attention, she's got a serious problem... and thank you for all your perspectives, God bless

I know this is an old thread but I felt the need to reply as I’ve seen many people on this thread talk about self-medicating their anxiety with alcohol, something I once did, and there is something VERY important you need to realize about this, you are actually CAUSING your anxiety to worsen by doing this. This is long, didn’t realize until I finished typing it all out…sorry.

It seems most people don't realize that alcohol actually CAUSES anxiety AND depression! But it seems less understood by the general population about it INCREASING anxiety. This isn't realized, I believe, because alcohol CAN seem to relieve anxiety (but only for a very short while), so it's seen as an effective method at reducing anxiety by folks who hate seeing a doc or don’t want to go through that trouble, in truth it's making it MUCH worse. I didn't realize this until I tried to stop drinking purely to save money (was spending $4-$600 a month just on alcohol) and then WAMMO...sudden onset of SEVERE anxiety the likes of which I've NEVER had before, 150-160bpm heart rate and blood pressure of 180/100 all the time among other issues. Here is a list of a few symptoms, tremors (any kind of shaking or jittery feeling), anxiety, nausea and/or vomiting (not from being drunk, I wouldn’t have had a drink in 8 hours yet EVERY morning while I showered I’d cough a little then puke/gag), headache, increased heart rate, sweating (I used to wrap my feet in paper towels at work they sweat so much, hand did too, it’s mostly palms and bottom of feet), irritability (even a simple question would make me want to punch someone), confusion (was hard to hold a conversation even), insomnia (I might could sleep an hour at most then UP), nightmares, night sweats (would wake up twice a night with sweat SOAKED through clothes and would have to change once a night sometimes)
Alcohol addiction, which is why you have withdrawals and anxiety when cutting back, happens VERY QUICKLY! I had no intention of being addicted, I knew it could happen but I thought you had to drink gallons upon gallons a day for YEARS to get addicted, nope, can happen in a few months! If you have increased tolerance that means you are beginning to become addicted! For nothing else, cut back so 1-2 servings still makes you feel good...having to drink 4+ just to get a LIGHT buzz is no fun, trust me. I also realize that while I've built a tolerance to the positive effects, you don't actually build a tolerance to the negative effects (headaches, cruddy feeling the next day, nausea, etc etc). So now to get a good buzz I have to gobble alcohol down but the BAD way drinking that many used to make me feel it still makes me feel JUST as bad the next day now as it did when I first started (ok not AS bad but close). Remember when you first started drinking, how one beer could buzz you? It takes me 4 servings (has to be high alcohol content beer 6% or wine 12% too) slammed back to back just to tell I had anything. I can drink two high alcohol content beers back to back and I can barely tell I've had anything...one beer, it’s like I didn’t have anything at all. I used to drink 4-6 bottles of wine a day, I was having a serving of alcohol every 30 minutes, I ended up drinking 2 servings at a time sometimes. Also note, I was only drinking like this for 8-10 months, building up to the amount, actually I was drinking that way only in the last 3 months. Before this I used to only drink a 6 pack a week and only if I had the next day off from work and no more than 2 in one setting…if I had 3 I felt cruddy so I would keep it to 2 most times.
ALSO NOTE PLEASE, alcohol withdrawal is one of the only drug withdrawals that CAN kill you; it's all the result of how alcohol affects the brain's processes. So if you are going to stop you WILL need a doctor’s help, they will have to give you anti-anxiety meds and possibly blood pressure and heart rate meds, but you NEED to do this. I'm not telling you to stop totally...hell I still have 4-6 beers a day (due to weight gain trying to cut back even more) but if you have withdrawal symptoms when you don't drink (feeling VERY anxious, jittery, shaky, can't think straight, sweat, night sweats, insomnia, bp/heart rate increases, irritability) then you REALLY need to cut back. I'm not trying to be your dad or anything like that, I'm not even going to go into fatty liver or other illnesses (skin conditions anyone?) associated with constant drinking...I'm telling you this because despite what you think, you will be WAY more miserable if you don't cut back. The process of cutting back feels bad at first but it eases. It took me about a week at my worst to begin to not feel increased anxiety and for my body to start re-adjusting…but I only stopped for two weeks then started again. Yeah cutting back isn't fun but I HAD to cut back because of how miserable I was, I could NOT go more than 1hr without a drink or I felt HORRID. This doesn't work well if you want any kind of job because EVERYONE can smell it on you. Know those smokers who spray cologne and chew gum and smell like minty rose flavored cigs? Now they don't smell it but EVERYONE else does...trust me, same with alcohol. Now I KNOW how alcohol affects me and when it's causing my symptoms vs life causing them so I can keep it in check (though I do still drink more than is healthy)...you do NOT want to get to where alcohol causes symptoms because you can’t calm yourself at all, which is not the case when it’s “just” life causing the anxiety/crap feeling. You will NOT be able to cope with the anxiety or other feelings using any method, it just comes in waves and waves and builds and builds, it’s unlike any anxiety I’ve ever felt. When alcohol causes these symptoms no amount of talking yourself down, calming techniques, or ANYTHING will even remotely reduce the feelings...that's why I'm telling you all this. IT IS MISERABLE and if you don't get why this is happening it’s actually VERY scary. Maybe you don't care about your health, that’s cool, don’t cut back for that then, I honestly don't really care about mine. The reason I decided I needed to cut back (and write this out) is because of the feelings and thoughts it causes when I couldn’t get some or when I’d built such a tolerance that I just couldn’t drink enough to remove the withdrawals. I feel miserable enough as it is just existing, and while it did help a little and for a very short while, it made things SO MUCH WORSE in the long run. I couldn't bare it, I couldn't stand it...it's beyond horrible. I'm now fat and out of shape and will probably die from a heart attack in my 50's but like I said I don't care about my physical health, I cut down just because of how much more horrible it made me feel and think...it's hard enough to push that stuff back...it doesn't need any help! And DAMN does alcohol empower your anxiety and crap feelings!
...continued below...

It's true that alcohol relieves anxiety for about 15 min to an hour when you drink (depending on tolerance level) BUT it also alters your brain chemistry and alters how your brain operates and how the brain handles second to second body functions. The reason alcohol has a calming effect is that it basically slows down your brain/body processes all over (which is why it helps anxiety, ever notice anxiety makes you feel like your mind is going a mile a second?)...it really just puts your body on slow down. When you drink every day (more than 2 drinks a day is getting into trouble btw, more than 4 and you’ve already heading well into addiction) your brain then normalizes to these levels. However, the methods the body normally uses to chill you become retarded because now alcohol is taking the place of the body’s normal methods. Because alcohol is doing the job your body shuts these functions down to preserve itself and not overuse, same reason you lose strength if you don't work out...your body is designed to survive and not waste so when it thinks it doesn't need something it shuts it off. I don't need muscle so let's cut back on that and not waste resources on it, I don't need these chill methods (cause something else is doing it) so let's cut back on them. Sadly this also causes receptors in the brain to become used to these higher levels of constant exposure as well. It will begin to take more and more alcohol to achieve that same level of "feel good", even if you aren't doing it to chill this is the result. Ever stick your arm out the window of a car or have someone lightly tap the same spot on your arm? Eventually that spot becomes mostly numb to the sensation, same thing with the brain. And you have now built a tolerance to alcohol. The body isn't used to NEEDING constant retardation of senses and exposure to chemicals (nothing against chems, the whole body is nothing but a long term chemical reaction) to achieve calm. It's not actually normal to be in a constant anxious state either. But because you are constantly exposing the brain to alcohol it will retard functions the alcohol takes over for. BUT here's the real kicker...because your body now relies on alcohol when you stop using it the methods the body normally uses to stay normal (not just feel good but just normal) are WAY retarded and won't actually work (for a while). So when you stop drinking your body no longer has effective "slow down" methods so you literally go into hyperdrive...hence your heart rate goes up, your blood pressure goes up, you sweat a lot, anxiety is an overactive brain and boy howdy does it get over active, you shake because your nerves are over active (of course they are ALL ready so it's a twitchy feeling not a fast response feeling)...your body is like an over clocked cpu or an over revved engine...but without a good tune, so it's just all out of whack and over sensitized and over stimulated and revving but going nowhere.
Now I can't find any info on how long it takes alcohol tolerance to be reduced because most folks who stop as a result of withdrawals do so with the intent of NEVER drinking again. I've read it can take years for heavy drinkers. My personal experience is that taking a break reduces tolerance but tolerance builds EXTREMLY rapidly when starting back up when compared to when it FIRST built...so you may take many months off from drinking (not drinking at all) and get back to where one beer buzzes you…but when you first started drinking it took months to build a tolerance now it will only take a couple days. I've had this experience with a certain drug I once did; I stopped for several months and the first use after that hiatus blew my mind, almost as good as the first time, took me off guard actually. But the next day I had another use...effect was not so much. By the third day it was as if I had never quit. I'm assuming alcohol will do something similar to this if you begin daily or frequent drinking again. So don’t get back into that habit.
I was seeing a psychiatrist when I started cutting back but even though I told her how many bottles of wine I went through a day and that I was now trying to not have ANY she totally missed a literal textbook case of alcohol withdrawal symptoms. It wasn't until my second trip to the ER for bp/rate issues that one of the docs laid it out for me...it took seeing THREE docs before one of them finally explained to me what alcohol was doing to me and why I was having these reactions. I thought I had hyperthyroidism honestly (VERY similar symptoms); alcohol being the cause NEVER crossed my mind, I really thought it was a thyroid issue. In fact the psychiatrist even began coming to the conclusion of hyperthyroid after I had JUST told her “I was drinking at least 4 bottles of wine a day and now I drink nothing”, I didn’t mention my thoughts on it being a possible cause she just asked me if we’d ever checked it (levels were normal btw). In my mind I wasn't a drunk, I just drank to enhance my already good mood. That anxiety? Well I just didn't have anxiety meds and life was the cause in my mind not the alcohol and why go through the expense of gas to drive into town, paying to see the doc, paying for pills, and the hassle of going in on my day off (and I work nights so I'd have to go in when I'm normally sleeping) when I have an effective method already? I went and looked up the symptoms and I don't know how the psychiatrist didn't put 2 and 2 together, she should have...which is why I don't see her anymore...besides my anxiety is in check now that I'm not withdrawing!
I drank because I just liked the buzzy feeling not because I was trying to numb myself to feelings. Sure I had a lot going on (divorce, foreclosure, other shizz) but that really was the only reason I drank, to enhance my already decent state of mind. Then I got to where I couldn’t go out or do anything and made my nights duller than normal, so I drank a little more to stave off boredom. At first I wasn't really drinking to reduce a negative (depression/anxiety), I was drinking to increase a positive (enhanced experience) but this soon flipped once the tolerance built. You really shouldn't actually drink daily, those studies telling you the good affects of 1-2 glasses a day were really for 50+ year old men who were former smokers. Once I began drinking more daily my body lost the ability to calm itself and I noticed increased anxiety...well alcohol helps that so I then drank more...and so on and so on to where I was drinking a LOT. I've seen folks who drink gallons of vodka a day and I wasn't to that level so I didn’t think I was addicted at all...it blows my mind how they can even be alive given how bad alcohol makes anxiety and blood pressure...hopefully you won't get to that level. I hope, if you suffer from anxiety, you can get medicated by a doc, if you can't please don't use alcohol to medicate yourself because it will NOT work and it WILL make you worse. I can’t tell you good coping techniques because what causes my anxiety isn’t what causes yours so my methods probably won’t do you any good. I don't have withdrawals when I drink now but I will if I allow myself a bit too much. My problem now is that I AM now drinking to make myself feel better as really nothing in this life is capable of making me happy anymore due to all the # that's happened in the past few years.
...continued...

BUT, I can't let myself medicate anxiety with alcohol so if I feel anxious I start cutting back. Sure I drink while watching a show/movie and most of the time I do it to feel good but I also sit and feel miserable a lot too...but the reason I only drink a few a day instead of all day like I used to is because no matter how #ty I feel from life withdrawals where the worst thing I've ever gone through. I do my best to not drink so much that if I did stop for a day or week I wouldn't feel any worse than if I never drank at all. I'm avoiding withdrawals and chemical/physical addiction as best I can...I'm not perfect, but I sure as hell don't want to go through withdrawals again, you don't either. Geez I can be a little repetitive, sorry 'bout that. Any hoo, my $0.02