Weird dreams about ex and current gf

So this doesn't really freak me out or anything but I thought I'd post it and see if anyone could offer some deeper insight on a few dreams I had this weekend.

Friday night I had a dream that my ex from two relationships ago was following me around at a family function of mine. In real life she has stayed close to my mother and recently was invited to one of my family reunions so I have some obvious animosity towards her. But I am not and never have been violent to any woman ever. In my dream she kept following me and antagonizing me. Finally I quickly grabbed her by the throat and pinned her down. I looked at her in the eyes and said "Leave me alone!" I then woke up.

Last night I had a dream that I was in a bar waiting for my current gf that I have been with for about a month to show up at a bar I was at. I could not get in contact with her and was by myself with none of my friends around who I think I was looking for as well. I went into the bathroom and as soon as I closed the door i felt someone pulling it open and struggling with me as I kept trying to close it. It ended up being my latest ex who i was with for a year up until this April. She stepped in the bathroom with me and began to tell me how much she missed me. I simply looked at her and said "ok". I had feelings for her in the dream but just as I did when we broke up, I let her walk out of the bar because I know she's not good for me no matter how amazingly hot she is. At the end of this dream my current GF eventually did show up and ended up telling me that she loved me. To which I told her not to tell me that yet. Then I woke up.

So does anyone have any feedback on what this all means? lol. I did make some pretty fire nachos last night so that very well might be the culprit too. Just thought I'd put a line out and see what the reply's were.

Thanks for reading!

I think that there is unresolved issues you have to deal with before fully moving on with this gf. I'm guessing your break ups with those two exes was probably complicated and did not end in good terms.

reply to post by blackmetalmist


Thanks for your feedback! I def do still have feeling for my latest, but I do believe I can move on. The new girl is really what I need and what I've been looking for. I definitely want to give her a chance and I am. The one before her just moved on really fast after we broke up badly and it took me a few months of closing myself off to begin to get over it.

But like I said thanks again for reading and your feedback!

Yeah me too, I had a dream last night about my ex and some girl I had never met but for some reason recognised her. I was flirting with the new girl I don't know and my ex was just hanging around watching. It been like two years since I have see her, so I don't understand.

Cant really offer a theory apart from the obvious stated above, but I just thought it was crazy to see this post.

I'm with Blackmetalmist on this one.

I'm going through the same thing OP, the dreams about the ex... all of that. I, myself, and finding it hard to move on but it's helping that quite a few women are interested in pursuing me

Nonetheless, if you can't resolve the issue with you're ex, you may need some counseling. I hate to admit it but i'm seeing a therapist because of my latest I've never been like that before.

Either way, best of luck to you I hope it all works out in your favor.

reply to post by kimish


Thanks kimish! Good luck to you too sir! I'm open to everything. It's been hard, but I didn't start dating this new girl until I was sure I was ready to give up on the last one and move on. I think I might always love my ex, but for a lot of wrong reasons.

Originally posted by stonedogdiary
reply to post by kimish

 

Thanks kimish! Good luck to you too sir! I'm open to everything. It's been hard, but I didn't start dating this new girl until I was sure I was ready to give up on the last one and move on. I think I might always love my ex, but for a lot of wrong reasons.

I feel you there %100, my latest was definitely something special and amazing. But we must move on and not dwell on things. But honestly, if you still feel the same way after a couple of months it may be worth your while to talk with someone.

reply to post by stonedogdiary


Most of us have a few ex's in our past that we never quite got over. C'est la vie. Eventually you will, to the extent that you can carry on with a new relationship and put the old one in its proper perspective.

Apparently you are not there yet. Dreams will make you face things that you can ignore while you're awake, but are still very much a part of your subconscious thought process.

You're not ready for your current GF to express feelings of love for you, which tells me that you have many unresolved issues from past relationships. You're not ready to let go yet. Be careful that what your heart clings to will not sink what you have now. Oftentimes, our old yearnings and feelings will sabotage what we're trying to create today.

Think hard on what went wrong before, and why you still harbor feelings for your ex. If you must, take a day and go through old mementos, memories, etc...Wallow in them, really get back there in your mind and think carefully. For, until you are truly ready to let go, you can never give 100% of yourself to your current GF, and that is totally unfair to her, as well as yourself.

Best of luck.

Only 3 months between relationships... you work way too fast bro. That's something to really consider, the unconscious mind can't keep up.

Originally posted by blackmetalmist
I think that there is unresolved issues you have to deal with before fully moving on with this gf. I'm guessing your break ups with those two exes was probably complicated and did not end in good terms.

I agree.

It seems like this is your subconscious mind telling you that you must come to terms with what had happened in the past couple of relationships.

Maybe you feel bad about something, and while you are not aware of it currently, it could become a problem in the future.

I simply looked at her and said "ok". I had feelings for her in the dream but just as I did when we broke up, I let her walk out of the bar because I know she's not good for me no matter how amazingly hot she is.

At least you're honest about it, that will go very far in the long run. If you can, maybe find out what is really bothering you about those past two relationships, and try to resolve what had happened.

Did you not happen to have closure, or did you feel as though you've wronged either of them?

Honesty is the best policy, even when it comes to yourself, good luck,
Mike

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
reply to post by stonedogdiary

 

Most of us have a few ex's in our past that we never quite got over. C'est la vie. Eventually you will, to the extent that you can carry on with a new relationship and put the old one in its proper perspective.

Apparently you are not there yet. Dreams will make you face things that you can ignore while you're awake, but are still very much a part of your subconscious thought process.

You're not ready for your current GF to express feelings of love for you, which tells me that you have many unresolved issues from past relationships. You're not ready to let go yet. Be careful that what your heart clings to will not sink what you have now. Oftentimes, our old yearnings and feelings will sabotage what we're trying to create today.

Think hard on what went wrong before, and why you still harbor feelings for your ex. If you must, take a day and go through old mementos, memories, etc...Wallow in them, really get back there in your mind and think carefully. For, until you are truly ready to let go, you can never give 100% of yourself to your current GF, and that is totally unfair to her, as well as yourself.

Best of luck.

Thanks so much for the detailed reply. I actually did go through and delete about 200 photos of my and my last ex on Saturday. I'm thinking that might have contributed to the whole thing. Crazy that you said C'est la vie as she said that a lot. I have a problem of not confronting my ex when a relationship ends. I just stop talking, ignore them as much as I can, and move on the best I can. I usually take break ups really hard when I'm serious w/ someone. Maybe I should have been more open about everything. I was eventually, but even then I was still telling her I loved her and wanted to work it out. She moved on suddenly and it kind of just left me in limbo while she kept texting me telling me how her new relationship is "just not me" and that she missed me. I ignored it and just kept moving on. Your reply really got me thinking though. Once again thanks!

Originally posted by Konduit
Only 3 months between relationships... you work way too fast bro. That's something to really consider, the unconscious mind can't keep up.

edit on 27-8-2012 by Konduit because: (no reason given)

Typically I try and wait longer but you're right. We were together for a year, maybe I needed more time. Thanks for the feedback either way!

Originally posted by PsyMike91

Originally posted by blackmetalmist
I think that there is unresolved issues you have to deal with before fully moving on with this gf. I'm guessing your break ups with those two exes was probably complicated and did not end in good terms.

I agree.

It seems like this is your subconscious mind telling you that you must come to terms with what had happened in the past couple of relationships.

Maybe you feel bad about something, and while you are not aware of it currently, it could become a problem in the future.

I simply looked at her and said "ok". I had feelings for her in the dream but just as I did when we broke up, I let her walk out of the bar because I know she's not good for me no matter how amazingly hot she is.

At least you're honest about it, that will go very far in the long run. If you can, maybe find out what is really bothering you about those past two relationships, and try to resolve what had happened.

Did you not happen to have closure, or did you feel as though you've wronged either of them?

Honesty is the best policy, even when it comes to yourself, good luck,
Mike

Honestly you have a really good point here. I really didn't have appropriate closure. Just went from being really dramatic to them moving on within days. They tried to get me back but once another person is involved I always jet.

Thanks for the feedback though Mike. Your post and all of the others have really given me a lot of food for thought. Thanks!

Honestly, dude I think your subconscious is telling you to take some time and reflect.

One EX was following you; obviously you feel her relationship with your mother is intrusive upon you, that’s easy.

Next one is actually easy to… you still have feelings for the amazingly hot, but not good for you EX. Been there, done that lol. That’s why she showed up when you were supposed to meet your new GF, especially in such a private place as a bathroom, which is because you’re guilty of those feelings.

Additionally you were by yourself with none of your friends, as if they were supposed to be there in your dream, which could represent that your afraid your friends don’t like your current GF.

Without knowing any intimate details of the relationships I would say its basically is about closure. Believe me my man, I’ve had some messed up EXGF dreams before. But soon enough you’ll forget all about them. Best advice I can give you besides taking time to reflect and therefore grow after each experience is to keep nothing not even pictures after a break-up.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Originally posted by ConspiracyBuff

Next one is actually easy to… you still have feelings for the amazingly hot, but not good for you EX. Been there, done that lol. That’s why she showed up when you were supposed to meet your new GF, especially in such a private place as a bathroom, which is because you’re guilty of those feelings.

Additionally you were by yourself with none of your friends, as if they were supposed to be there in your dream, which could represent that your afraid your friends don’t like your current GF.

Wow dude. Thanks for that. The part about the bathroom being private and meaning I feel guilty. Makes a lot of sense. Like I said in the dream it was a struggle like I was trying to keep the door closed but she pulled it open and stepped inside with me. Very very good observation. I really appreciate your reply man. Good luck to you as well!

reply to post by stonedogdiary


NP dude, just make sure that you're current gf is okay with it before you decide to get the closure necessary to move forth with your life.

If its a crazy ex, which ive been there before...do NOT even bother. Some doors are better left unopened.

But if you and your ex talk it over, and the current is okay with you getting a sort of closure, your mind will be able to relax a bit better over this.

and i disagree that you move too quickly, many people meet their current love's within weeks of separating from another, but they usually do need closure for that to progress.

Do you feel de-attatchment at all with your current? If so, then maybe you should be a bit honest about your feelings and ask if she'd be okay if you getting some sort of closure. Just dont go about it wrongly.

Maybe suggest that you've been feeling a bit off as of late and you had that dream, just tell her you think it'd be in your relationship's best interest if you throw your ex a quick text and ask her what had happened. You can even have your current sit there with you while you do it.

Just make sure she knows! lol

and good luck
Mike

Originally posted by PsyMike91
reply to post by stonedogdiary

 

If its a crazy ex, which ive been there before...do NOT even bother. Some doors are better left unopened.

But if you and your ex talk it over, and the current is okay with you getting a sort of closure, your mind will be able to relax a bit better over this.

and i disagree that you move too quickly, many people meet their current love's within weeks of separating from another, but they usually do need closure for that to progress.

Do you feel de-attatchment at all with your current? If so, then maybe you should be a bit honest about your feelings and ask if she'd be okay if you getting some sort of closure. Just dont go about it wrongly.

It most certainly is a crazy ex. Too long of a story to go into but she really didn't deserve me. She texts me that she misses me and I don't blame her. I think I just miss how hot she was. I know that sounds really shallow but in all honesty the things that happened at the end of the relationship killed all the good things I thought about her besides that.

As for the new girl. No de-attachment. She seems like she's what I need I just want to take it slow. I don't want to go through a bunch of bs again if I don't have to.

And also thanks for your comment about disagreeing that I moved on too fast. I don't feel like I did either. I took three months and did nothing but go to work and go home and write music. I sat in my apartment by myself until I felt strong enough to get back out there. For the first time in a long time I didn't fu** everything else that walked either during that time just because I was hurting. I really tried to give myself some time to heal. Even when she didn't. She moved on right away and of course was texting me within a week saying that she just needed to find something to "ease her pain". I think if she really loved me that much she just needed to be an adult like I did and work it out with herself. Then i would have given her another chance in the end.

Didn't mean to ramble right there but I did. lol. Thanks again for the feedback my friend!