posted on Aug, 26 2012 @ 04:18 PM
cryin ryan continued.
he was always full of life and had crazy ambition but was to attracted and trapped to a drug based life style. and yes my room mate was a stripper and
her brother also lived with us. laundry day was hilarious. I will always remember ryan, he over dosed a few months after I left arizona from smoking
another artist friend that passed just came to mind. this person I was never very close with but was close with at the same time. a local legend, one
year a head in high school. suspended for playing sublime and starting a punk rock riot in the high school cafeteria that no amount of administration
could stop! a founding member in our local blackout league chapter. knower of all punk rock history. would turn any party into a punk rock jam. had a
real good bout with heroin, got clean, relapsed over dosed and his brain swelled and he went into a coma in his mothers basement. he remained on life
support for 3 weeks after, his mother made the decision to pull the plug against the will of others. making for some extra drama.
my step brother scott. he was big, like 6'6'' and 200++ something pounds. could drink like a fish and was game to do any drug. he introduced me to
stealing, we stole a cassette player from the college and a couple other little things I think I was 11 or so. my mom found out and took us straight
to the campus officer for a scare session. he showed me a drawer full of drugs, bongs, some weapons, and other confiscated goods. he was never that
aggressive except for one time. we were much older I was maybe 21 and he 27. he was staying at mine and my girlfriend of the times house. we had gone
to bed only to be woken up at 2-3 am to him yelling for me. he wanted me to drive to the house of these people who had screwed over kevin our other
step brother. he had helped himself to all the alcohol in the house..... which was alot. I tried to get him to sleep it off but instead he burst out
of the house saying he would walk there. in december in colorado......another story I remember of him, he told it to me. he had won a scratchy lotto
of some kind and procured 30k. he got it all in cash, 20$'s and 50$'s so he could have mountains of cash infront of him on a table. he smoked drank
and snorted every penny of it till it was gone. my step brother kevin ran from parole while scott was living in pheonix and screwed over a bunch of
his drug dealer friends who put a hit out on scott. he was found on his couch with a baseball bat next to him, needle in his arm. my stepbrother kevin
got one tear tattooed on him for this I believe, he has more than one tear.
my nana passed recently. this was following a long bout with parkinsons, her husband of 20+ years had just passed the year before. they would come and
make pancakes for us every year with out fail for the first day of school. she was a wonderful lady. my mom always made her out to have been a bad
mother, a smoker, a generally detached mother. she worked full time and raised her 4 kids on her own. I never saw the bad in her, but we all have it
in us do we not? I went to his funeral, his family who I had never met was there. they were pretentious assholes who had presumptions of my mother and
her brothers. winky (thats what we called him) had left all his properties and vehicles, material stuff to his brother and not my nana. regardless of
why he made this choice my mother and her brothers were quite upset and started to say some really terrible things which made the whole funeral and
experience very sour. I believe this was the first time I showed my family my family tattoo. I did not make it to my nana's funeral. I did however
see he just days before, she was basically in a coma..... but I could get her to wiggle her hand and foot occasionally if I said the right thing. I
got to say my goodbyes while she was still here... so I try not to beat myself up over it to bad.
the next two I want to share happened very recently. they were both taken by the river just months apart. both in very intense class V sections of
whitewater. I had boated with one of the men just a day before his passing and had my own very close call in the exact place he had died with his body
still there. mid way down a rapid stuck inbetween some rocks. its called a sieve. only to have myself get helicoptered out the following day. the
other passed in a canyon I have never ventured into, yet. he was trapped outside of his kayak in a pot hole made of granite and the water is to
aerated to swim to the surface in and not enough current pulling around the wall to the exit, and steep granite walls making access nearly impossible.
thus the definition of class V whitewater. luckily I have yet to have a death on a trip I was personally on.