The "You are Special/Great" Generation

Part of the problem in America today really boils down to the "everyone is special/great" mentality that has been taught to the kids over the last 3 decades. I remember in grade school we had a day that was for physical competition and we would participate in random events like the 40 yard dash, hurdle jumping, etc. Originally the 3 best performers would earn a gold, silver or bronze colored ribbon accordingly. The ribbon included your name, the event and your score. I remember not winning a lot of events but getting gold in one and bronze in another. Not winning didn't bother me, winning made me feel a sense of accomplishment or like I wanted to work to win more things.

By the end of my time at the school they decided(parents complained) that giving placement awards was hurting kids feelings. They elected to give everyone a participation ribbon and no longer award them for their performance. The participation ribbons had something like this written on them, "Thanks for participating and being extra great!" The same thing happened to the inellectual games(English, mathematics,history and science in a trivia game)...they had to switch from achievment awards to participation to avoid hurting kids feelings. "Spare them the truth so we don't single anyone out or hurt anyones feelings." ...this same general mentality spread throughout the schools in many other areas.

The kids started being taught that everyone is special and great instead of learning how the real world works. When these kids got older they didn't know how to cope with not getting the same awards as the others like they were taught. They have become a bunch of entitled complainers who expect their PARTICIPATION AWARD.

*Note: Not everyone in the mentioned generation fits the description(it's not the majority), I'm referring to a loud group within it.

In my eyes this comes from a very deeply rooted culture of feeling entitled - where we confuse exceptionalism and equality as one. They are not.

Having a level playing field is important - but at the end of the day people are going to end up with different scores and individual achievements.

Unfortunately we are so caught up in the notion of wanting to make everybody feel good that we lose sight of the fact that not everybody is great at everything all of the time. This hurts kids, in my opinion, because it robs them of motivation to excel and improve and teaches them to just sit in the herd and take their free accolades.

~Heff

reply to post by Epirus

This is evident in the workplace.

Just showing up does not equate to performing well in your job.

And correcting them on it? You'd think I bitch-slapped the Pope with some of the reactions I got when I've had to discipline someone!

reply to post by Hefficide


Wow! I don't know if anyone can articulate it better than you just did. You hit the nail on the head.

We got blue, red, and yellow ribbons. Yeah I agree though it has gotten absurd.

But, I think the problem escalated out of control when they started cracking down on bullies.

Nothing put a kid in his place and showed him how the world worked like some good old fashioned bullying.

reply to post by Epirus


OP - You nailed it.

If you are part of this generation you have been taught that "the world owes you" and for many it is impossible to break through that paradigm.

See this thread...
www.abovetopsecret.com...

reply to post by Epirus


That is interesting, and it applied to me a bit at one time, but then I graduated from college and entered an economy that pretty much forces me to live off very little even with a college education. Now, me and most of the people I know around my age from college, are in the same situation. We are learning to appreciate the small things in life, live on far less than our parents, and (some) are learning to care about each other and work together.

Some of us manage to overcome the barriers, get a job (it turns out teaching is the most successful field from my friend pool), buy a small house, and maybe get married.

I am going to move in with a friend of mine who is a teacher, and he bought a house, so I will consider that a win for now.

reply to post by darkbake


I like your positive attitude and general philosophy. It's much better than complaining about why you are where you are(even if it's rough). The past cannot be changed regardless of it's fairness, the only way to move forward is one step at a time and you don't move as fast when you're backpedaling. Thanks for the reply!

I will voice my discontent with the "entitlements are destroying everything" and "everyone is special/great" rants.

I believe that everyone is special (unique), and great (it's a miracle that any of us are here in the now no matter whether you are religious or a scientist).

I see a big difference between allowing people to feel that they have innate worth/value in the world (value in the form of potential at the very least) and complaining about people who demand a free ride. Demanding a free ride is silly (make your own way, or earn a living serving someone else/someone else's company, but no one owes you anything)... even worse is unbridled greed/pillaging, which I can't help but notice is often associated with the anti-entitlements crowd.

I don't see causality in this argument. It's apples and oranges. Plenty of kids who were raised to feel that they have innate value went on to great things, and many did not. Plenty of kids who were raised in the competitive environment you describe were prob. left by the wayside, didn't make it, etc. -- and plenty went on to great things.

The link/correlation is extremely loose at best.

reply to post by AkumaStreak


I disagree to an extent and will explain.

I agree that all people have worth. But if you take a potentially great mind or thinker and put them into a position where they are not asked to excel, push, and exercise their exceptionalism actively... do they ever realize their potential? Do they rise to their level of ability or simply learn to be satisfied in upholding the status quo.

There is a positive to competition and in recognizing excellence where it exists.

~Heff

If I may interject a more conspiratorial aspect to this. . . . .

This is just a part of a larger picture of social engineering. Exceptionalism is being downplayed on the individual level becuse government doesn't want leaders.

They want followers. They want sheep. Drones.

Individuals that excel in sports, acedemics, leadership positions often question the status quo. They are the ones that strive for change, for evolution.

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by AkumaStreak

 

I disagree to an extent and will explain.

I agree that all people have worth. But if you take a potentially great mind or thinker and put them into a position where they are not asked to excel, push, and exercise their exceptionalism actively... do they ever realize their potential? Do they rise to their level of ability or simply learn to be satisfied in upholding the status quo.

There is a positive to competition and in recognizing excellence where it exists.

~Heff

Well... again... a different bag.

I am for advanced placement programs in education. I don't agree with the broad generalizations made by the OP though... I don't think it's as simple as he'd hope.

reply to post by AkumaStreak


I did try to note that this isn't the majority, maybe you didn't finish reading the OP.

I can respect a disagreement in the matter as it's a sensitive topic, however, it seems your response is due to a lack of comprehension. Based on your reply...I think you are reading the post incorrectly and not actually comprehending the intended meaning.

Originally posted by beezzer
If I may interject a more conspiratorial aspect to this. . . . .

This is just a part of a larger picture of social engineering. Exceptionalism is being downplayed on the individual level becuse government doesn't want leaders.

They want followers. They want sheep. Drones.

Individuals that excel in sports, acedemics, leadership positions often question the status quo. They are the ones that strive for change, for evolution.

Interesting point! I hadn't thought of it from that angle.

But everyone deserves everything no matter how much work the do or don't put in/level of skill/intelligence.

I'm all for having a fair shot, with no corruption or abuse by people in power, but lets be honest not everyone is equally capable of the same tasks. This is not a race or sex thing, it is an intelligence thing.

I see it all the time by people preaching "everyone needs a college education". No I'm sorry not everyone does. Do you really need a business degree to manage your local Chili's? Seems like just another way to institute massive debt, raise tuition prices, and help out lenders aka banks. Skills that were normally taught through work experience are taught in a classroom and not well or for the real world. Then these people complain they have too much debt. Sorry, should have went for something more useful than liberal arts.

I also think it is making today's young women vapid, materialistic, fake, and entitled sufferers of princess syndrome.

Just my 2 cents. Gone is the time of hard work and relying on ones self. Now is the time of government handouts and being "ME" centric. There are still a few good apples, and I bet parents spanked them and made them do appropriate work around the home.

Originally posted by Epirus
reply to post by AkumaStreak

 

I did try to note that this isn't the majority, maybe you didn't finish reading the OP.

I can respect a disagreement in the matter as it's a sensitive topic, however, it seems your response is due to a lack of comprehension. Based on your reply...I think you are reading the post incorrectly and not actually comprehending the intended meaning.

edit on 14-8-2012 by Epirus because: (no reason given)

I read your OP, and to truly comprehend often does require being able to see where someone's coming from, so yeah, I do have a lack of comprehension.

Your argument also has a premise that we should teach kids a certain way because of how the real world is. Perhaps "how the real world works" is the bigger culprit (in other words, perhaps that's what could use fixing) in your search for blame.

reply to post by Epirus


Good post, but what is the answer? If we aren't pandering to all the little darlin's (Ick!) then the flip side is to raise them with the idea that life is a matter of swim or drown, do or die, and that in the game of life there are only winners and losers.

Originally posted by jiggerj
reply to post by Epirus

 

Good post, but what is the answer? If we aren't pandering to all the little darlin's (Ick!) then the flip side is to raise them with the idea that life is a matter of swim or drown, do or die, and that in the game of life there are only winners and losers.

Originally posted by beezzer

Originally posted by jiggerj
reply to post by Epirus

 

Good post, but what is the answer? If we aren't pandering to all the little darlin's (Ick!) then the flip side is to raise them with the idea that life is a matter of swim or drown, do or die, and that in the game of life there are only winners and losers.

reply to post by jiggerj
Then it is up to the parent to develop character so that quitting is not an option. Everyone suffers defeat at some time in their life. How you deal with it defines you.

How you are raised will deterine how someone deals with defeat.