At a sexual education class in high school, I was watching a video on sexually transmitted diseases. All my memories of abuse came back to me and I
developed a huge fear of AIDS. I went to the Dr and spoke to him about my childhood and my fear. He re-assured me that if I had AIDS it would have
presented itself by now (was 15 at the time and the abuse happened 8 years prior). I eventually plucked up the courage to talk to my adopted parents
about it, who immediately contacted my social worker and the police came to interview me. The social services knew something was going on because my
sister was taken away to live with my grandparents when we lived in the “new town”, its just we were never told about why she was taken away. It
turns out she was taken away because she contacted my grandparents to tell them about it and the social services became involved.
The police investigation continued and it was overwhelming to me…I wanted to forget but was being forced to remember. My 2 brothers were also
quizzed as the case was re-opened. They both denied it but I knew it happened to them over the course of the 2 years because I witnessed “him”
come into our room and take them through to his room. (they later admitted when I was 25 that it happened to them but they remained quiet because of
The case eventually went to the high court and I was in the witness box for over 2 hours. I had to identify him on a police line, and stand in front
of a jury and judge and relive every single minute detail. The actions performed, the durations, feelings, bribery etc. I stood there in tears
whilst not being able to look at him. My real mum was in the audience, not batting an eyelid. My adopted mum sat there crying, listening to me. My
adopted dad couldn’t be present as he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Even now as I type there are tears running down my face.
The court finally adjourned and I left the box. I was walking out of the court house and my mother was across the street from me, i was walking
holding hands with my adopted mother. My real mother started shouting abuse at me, calling me a “little [snip]” and a liar. She had no remorse,
no sense of feeling for me, no sense of empathy.
I went home with my adopted mum and went to my room and cried myself to sleep. My mum got a call a few days later from the social services informing
her that he was found guilty and sentenced to 9 years in prison and put on the sex offenders register.
I went from not attending school, not eating, being sexually abused, violently abused, being torn away from my family countless times to graduating
school with passes in my exams. I have since then met the love of my life, had a child with her who is a gorgeous little boy (3 years) with another
due in the next 2 weeks (who will be a little girl). I hold a good job in HSE for a US based marine company in the UK, have a mortgage and call my
adoptive parents MUM and DAD. My son and daughter will grow up to feel like they are their REAL grandparents. My real mother and father are NOT part
of their life and will never be.
My life experiences to date have certainly shaped what type of parent I am, and to a certain degree what type of partner I am.
I discipline my child with a firm sharp voice, a voice of authority, and I give him “timeout”. If he misbehaves at meal times, he is put on the
stairs until he apologises. I explain to him why I did that, we have a hug and he sits back down for his meal. If he continues to misbehave (unlikely)
the process is repeated until he gives in and eats some of his food. The same applies to all things. If we are out having fun and he misbehaves and
doesn’t heed the warnings, he is taken out of the situation and left until he apologises. Again we have a chat and we continue on our way after a
hug. I and his mother do this. He responds exceptionally well to it.
As a victim of both physical and sexual abuse, I can tell you first had that it is TERRIBLE to go through any of it. When you’re crying so hard you
wet yourself, you can’t look at someone in the eye because of fear of retaliation. This is not a life for a child. I will never abuse a child; I
will never let anyone abuse a child.
Children are a gift, not a possession. They are to be loved, not controlled, they are to be enjoyed not hated and they are to be allowed to live not
scared to live.
I have lived through hell as a child; I have been to the edge and back, but I KNOW what is right.
Enjoy children, play with them, make them laugh, pick them up when they fall, hug them…don’t make them fall, don’t make them cry, don’t
neglect them love.
Ultimately my life experiences has led me to ATS as it has encouraged me to question existence, love, creation and the truth…ATS has eventually led
me to writing this short story…
It’s “funny” how things find a way out…or is it designed this way?
edit on 6/7/12 by masqua because: edited censor circumvention
edit on 6/7/12 by jrmcleod because: (no reason given)