Shocking anorexic story

Sitting at my kitchen table with a piece of toast in front of me, I feel stressed, tired and unhappy, so I don’t want to eat it. I have to eat it, because if I don’t, I’ll be ill. I put it in my mouth. I want to gag, but I chew. I swallow hard. It’s a tiny square of wholemeal bread.
I give the crust to my dog. I force-feed myself — not every day, but often, when life becomes too much to bear. It’s hard, but it saves my life.

A debate has sparked, because this woman, was ordered by Justice Peter Jackson to be force fed, in order to stay alive.

This, against not just her wishes, but that of her parents!!

‘It upsets us greatly to advocate for our daughter’s right to die,’ her parents said in a statement. ‘We love her dearly, but feel our role should be to fight for her best interests, which, at this time, we strongly feel should be the right to choose her own path, free from restraint and fear of enforced re-feed.

Full article

Now this topic covers many controversial spectrums, and will cause there to be many different opinions.

It is such a hard choice to make, but surely her own wishes is the one that should be respected? However, how do you just let someone die by letting them starve to death, especially, if it is not because they don't have food, but because of a mental disorder?

VVV

Why would someone want to end their live in this way? I find it sickening.

Surely this woman can get help, and recover fully from this dreadful disease. Personally I had a friend suffering from anorexia, and she made a wonderful recovery, leading a healthy lifestyle now. It is not impossible.

vvv

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


I say they feed her, if she really wanted to commit suicide they're other means. If she is reluctant to do so then it's a cry for help and attention seeking at it's finest. That's just my cold unbiased opinion.

reply to post by DeadSnow


Your response is exactly why the rest of the world looks down on so many forms of people self harming as a cry for attention when I can tell you that a large amount of these people are ill and not someone wanting attention. As a past cutter I can say that I dis it because that was the only way I felt in control of my environment and while I don't know this young ladys reason to choose not eating it's not always just someone wanting a "poor you" or whatever.

I'm not saying what she's doing is right but her parents should be seeking her more professional help to study the more behind the scenes help to cover why she's doing this to herself.

Yes, it is an illness.

This is not a case of some "emo" person doing it for attention.

Was the judge right in ordering her to be force fed though? How could her parents want her to die??

I cannot understand this.

vvv

reply to post by ohyouknow


Look the world has better things to do than cry over one individual that refuses to eat or receive any treatment. What would you suggest they do?, I said my opinion was cold and unbiased...I said they feed her.

Edit: So sorry for some reason your post was not complete just re-read it. Yes you can try cut your wrists slowly while waiting for a miracle or you could just jump off a building ensuring all is over. I don't know if you understand what I mean but If someone really wanted to die, they wouldn't be here.

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


It's not impossible, but the underlying issues have to be addressed. For me, it was all about control, so when I was placed in the position of having the choice to help myself, or of being put on a tube, I chose the former, because the idea of losing that much control horrified me. At that stage, and probably rightly so, my parents and doctor would have had me sectioned, which again, would have been a loss of control that I wasn't willing to enter into. So I ate.

The underlying issues remained, and I merely transplanted not eating with self-harming, but once that was discovered, and sectioning again became an issue, I was then, to some extent, ready to start dealing with those issues, and leaving home was a very big part of that. I took control in a much more positive way, and I began to take myself a part in order to understand why I was doing what I was doing. It took me years though, and I did have a number of partial relapses, and became at times a little too needful of control in all aspects of my life, something that is impossible given life's ups and downs. But from beginning to starve myself at age 9, I would say that it took me until I was almost 30 to get to grips with myself, and perhaps only since I became a parent that I have truly learnt to let go of the reigns and fully experience life without the need to control it.

For those who think that it is attention seeking behaviour, perhaps it is, but for me it always felt like the reverse, I wanted to disappear, it was the attention that I hated and which I shied away from. I didn't want to be looked at, or show-ponied. It is different I suppose for everyone, and that is why, it is important to address the underlying reasons for the behaviour, anorexia, or any form of self-harming behaviour, is not the illness, it is just a symptom that something isn't quite right and in my case that was a personality disorder. In others, it may be depression or a symptom of sexual abuse or something else that creates a dislike or rejection of your own body. Sometimes it is just a cry for attention, but that should not be interpreted to mean that that need for attention is not necessary or important to the persons well-being.

It takes an enormous amount of will-power and self-discipline to starve yourself, and more often than not, it is about feeling as though you have no control, and that that is the only way, or only thing that you can control. Taking away that control, without giving the individual a means to in some way regain it elsewhere, will not provide an effective route to recovery.

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


I agree with the judge, obviously the parents are incapable of making the right decision thats in the best interests of the daughter. I'd love to see this family get a grilling from Dr Phil!

reply to post by Biliverdin


But you always had that feeling something would change your life for the best and it did. You didn't want to live but you didn't want to die either, you hung on to life and it payed off. Her parent's may be the source of her problems.

Originally posted by DeadSnow
But you always had that feeling something would change your life for the best and it did. You didn't want to live but you didn't want to die either, you hung on to life and it payed off. Her parent's may be the source of her problems.]

Yes. And so were mine, partially, hence the needing to leave home in order to recover. I agree with the judge's decision...but, all I am saying is, that by taking away that much control from the girl herself, something else has to be in place so that she can feel in control otherwise. Control is of the essence here.

reply to post by Biliverdin


I can relate because I've actually attempted suicide 5 times, the only thing I haven't tried is jumping off a building or shooting myself in the head. Why? Do I really want to die? Or is it because I still have some hope or I'm waiting on a miracle?.

This is exactly how most depressed people think and my parents were also the major source of my depression via neglect. If I had wanted to die, I would be long gone, I guess the best word I can use to describe what I wanted was to 'disappear'.

reply to post by DeadSnow


And the funny thing is that in using that word, personally, I don't feel a finality about it. Never have. Just disappear as in to be invisible, but still able to go on about your business, but without others feeling the need, or even able, to pass comment on it, or more importantly, to observe it. Like wanting to live, but without the pomp and drama.

reply to post by Biliverdin


That's exactly what I mean, or just ceasing to exist. Trust me I've had my fair share of experience and two years ago my cousin committed suicide, He didn't show any signs whatsoever of depression, we hung out, he said bye with a smile and he looked extremely optimistic. The next day he jumped, Why didn't he tell me anything? Why did he keep everything bottled up?

That's because he lost all hope and he knew nothing could fill his emptiness, he saw no need to seek any form of attention.

reply to post by DeadSnow


My Mum tried to commit suicide when I was eleven, I had expected something, though not necessarily that. Ever since I was tiny, I can remember her telling me, that one of these days I'd find her not there. Got to the point where I just felt like saying 'get the # on with it will you'. She survived because she never really intended to go, it was just attention seeking, or attention demanding rather. I suppose that your cousin had simply had enough, and felt that there was nothing to stick around for. No drama necessary. Terrifically sad though. I've always had hope, of one kind or another, and always, always wanted to live. And always believed in my own capacity to find a path through all the #. I suppose that's the difference. I've come close, but there was, at the back of my mind, the sense of 'what if' and of knowing that there are infinite possibilities. For better or worse, I intend to leave this world kicking and screaming, if for no other reason but defiance. Funny thing is, it doesn't so much get better, as that it just gets different, and I love different.

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


I usually agree that people should let be in doing whatever they want or need to do. But in this case if she wanted to die she would of, so its not about death. Whatever her problem is in time and with help she will most likely come through, she may not be spot on normal. But I don't believe in normal either, in fact such a thing does not really exist. But I think she is a bit exaggerating with her whole anorexic thing, and I don't even know why being super skinny is even looked on by some as being sexy, and in her case I do not think it is about that even if it may be a part of it.

And there were more then a few times were I watched one of them weird ass modeling catwalk things and I seen some really skinny ass model, the only thing I thought was. "That chick needs to eat some more cheeseburgers" because when your ribs and spine are showing it is not sexy at all, and could not imagine why people would think it was to begin with.

I suppose its something to due with her personally or her psyche and even the things running around in her head, and even with a whole bunch of things to many to list really. And even control as some have said, and the many different interpretations of that word, but all in all if she wanted to kill herself she would of.

There is something else going on there, in the end only she can truly know what they are. I really think that one day she will work through all that and move on, so in a way this is a cry for attention and possibly help, and I could go down the list of what those things could possibly be for a young woman, but in some ways I think there a bit kind of obvious kind of like the elephant in the room that nobody wants to acknowledge, look at or even think about at all. And what you don't see can kill you, and usually does.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
I suppose its something to due with her personally or her psyche and even the things running around in her head, and even with a whole bunch of things to many to list really. And even control as some have said, and the many different interpretations of that word, but all in all if she wanted to kill herself she would of.

I often get frustrated by the popular perception of it as a 'slimmer's disease', that may be at play for some, but for the majority it is more of body dysmorphia, not being comfortable or at home, if you like, in your own body. I was reading about Eckert Tolle at the weekend and something that he said really rang true in relation to this issue. When he experienced his 'awakening' it was preceded by the thought 'I can't live with myself anymore'. Now, he thought, if I can't live with myself, surely that must mean that there is more than one of us in here (I paraphrase of course), and as we know, refer to Xoanon's Master and Servant thread, yes there is. Anorexia is in many ways a manifestation of this division and an inability to come to terms with the life that the physical leads, and a wanting to be free from that. Or more over, a conflict in way the physical is perceived in relation to the non-physical. In my experience at least.