Limbo

I have been in a dark place for several months now and have been trying to wrap my head around it all and I can not..

First a little back story.

Back on October the 10Th 2011, I went to the hospital to see my orthopedic doctor about my knees. I find out that I have arthritis in both my knees. I said well is there anything we can do for the pain, she says yes, we can give you cortisone shots to help. I said okay, then had to sign a waiver. I get up on the table, she puts the shot in my left knee first all is fine, we are talking and exchanging stories, then she puts the shot in my right knee and I remember saying I'm getting light headed then the next I am waking up.

When I came to I see all these doctors rushing in the room in a blurry haze, all sound distorted like you see in the movie when an explosion happens and the person is to close to it. My Doctor is trying to get my attention, I finally snap to and say, I'm here, i'm here, whats wrong, because I did not understand why all these doctors were around me. The orthopedic doctor tells me that I was out, how she was beating on my chest to try and get my heart started and how she was slapping me in the face trying to get me to respond for over four minutes with no success.

They have it in my medical record as me code bluing. The doctor explained that I had no pulse, was foaming at the mouth and she could hear the gurgling sounds as the oxygen was leaving my lungs.

Present day

Now I have felt down just like anyone else in their life, but ever since this happened and I experienced death first hand, I am having a very hard time getting pasted the fact that I experienced this. I was gone, there was nothing. No thought, Just nothing, that is not what is messing me up, it is the fact that I remember that there was nothing that is. I can not explain the nothing that I experienced.as it is hard to imagine because we think so much as living beings and can not turn off our minds for a split second to comprehend nothingness.

I do no want to make this religious at all, and state that I am not religious in the least, and am not trying to trample on anyone persons beliefs, but merely conveying my own personal experience. With that being said I will try to explain what I am going through.

It is this nothingness that is plaguing me, I am now trying to make sense of it and the only thing I can come up with is that there is no meaning to our existence, and there is no point on doing anything, it is complete chaos and completely meaningless. and we are just trying to create some sort of meaning to blind us from the fact that there is nothingness waiting for each and everyone of us when we die, yet some like to think that there is something grander to it all to try and bring some type of order to the chaos.

We get 50 to 100 years if we are lucky, and in those years we feed ourselves lies, for what? Do we lie to ourselves for the sake of a just in case? I do not understand this, Even though I have felt the grasp of nothingness, maybe it is for the sake of just in case that I do not just end it now. I do not know why I continue on as if there is some point to it all, I just do.

So you see. I am in a dark place, semi emotionless, semi emotional.

I posted in another thread a while back about how people experience the white light or tunnel and I will post my thought on that here again. I believe that when a person experiences this, it is the bodies vitals starting up again, like a pc restarting and you see the underscore before the computer actually restarts, maybe that is our brain restarting just before we come to.

Anyway, I thought I would share my darkness for no apparent reason, maybe you know something I do not or have some insight in to what I am experiencing.

reply to post by I think Im normal

I posted in another thread a while back about how people experience the white light or tunnel and I will post my thought on that here again. I believe that when a person experiences this, it is the bodies vitals starting up again, like a pc restarting and you see the underscore before the computer actually restarts, maybe that is our brain restarting just before we come to.

do you want this light/tunnel thing, too ?

Originally posted by icepack
reply to post by I think Im normal

 

do you want this light/tunnel thing, too ?

Sure, it beats the alternative of nothingness, and would give some insight in to there being more to it all, but in my explanation of it, I already had it, and it was temporary, not a constant,

I've been in your place. I really feel for you. Just over a year ago i had an experience where my respiratory system shutdown and my heart was stopped for about7 minutes. Luckily a friend of mine performed CPR and kept oxygen going to my brain which is the only reason I'm not brain dead now. Eventually EMS brought me back with 3 Naloxone shots. Anyway, for the brief period where I was gone. I was in that very limbo you are speaking of. I remember it clearly. Just nothingness. After the fact i couldn't drive myself to get out of bed for a few weeks. The shock will go away though and you will learn to accept it, trust me

Im sure that im gonna get a bunch of crap over this but...did you ever think that the reason you didn't experience any of the things others describe in their N.D.E's is because your "not religious in the least" as you put it? just curious?

so you remember your consciousness fading? wow, just nothingness huh? i always wonder what it's like to die, i dont want to but you're lucky to have experienced it.

so as far i i know, you aren't aware when your brain isn't working so for some reason your last memory lasted a while, i guess that's what happens.

Hey, personally I'm hoping actual death will be different than what I experienced. Maybe the limbo is only temporary or something. Idk, but I have to hope lol.

Originally posted by lordpiney
Im sure that im gonna get a bunch of crap over this but...did you ever think that the reason you didn't experience any of the things others describe in their N.D.E's is because your "not religious at all" as you put it? just curious?

I am not going to give you crap over your opinion.

If that is the case, then it is what it is. My experience did not make me anymore inclined to be religious.

reply to post by lordpiney


when ppl start to die their brains will hallucinate because of the lack of oxygen, so i dont take personal experiences seriously, when your brain stops working you stop thinking.

Maybe another reason you did not experience is because you where not brain dead. Being in a hospital you got CPR and other attention to keep you from slipping away. With so many systems and processes going on in the body the instant of death is not always a very clear distinction.

I experienced a "death" much like what you described. I remember a feeling of fear, disappointment, and sorrow that everything that I knew and experienced was really just nothingness.. and then the feelings faded into the nothingness and i could feel what was left of my consciousness trying to escape.
Best I can describe it since it really was 'nothing.'
Like something trying to pull me in. Not quite what I expected but a very unique experience that had me unnerved for several months afterwards. I would get this occasional chill over me and that deep sorrow in my chest for just a moment that I had experienced before and it made me pretty depressed. I was unsure if that was death, or hell, or just some sort of limbo. I guess we all find out one day.

For me, the chills and occasional flashes of fear and sorrow went away completely after a while.

Originally posted by I think Im normal
I have been in a dark place for several months now and have been trying to wrap my head around it all and I can not..

First a little back story.

Back on October the 10Th 2011, I went to the hospital to see my orthopedic doctor about my knees. I find out that I have arthritis in both my knees. I said well is there anything we can do for the pain, she says yes, we can give you cortisone shots to help. I said okay, then had to sign a waiver. I get up on the table, she puts the shot in my left knee first all is fine, we are talking and exchanging stories, then she puts the shot in my right knee and I remember saying I'm getting light headed then the next I am waking up.

When I came to I see all these doctors rushing in the room in a blurry haze, all sound distorted like you see in the movie when an explosion happens and the person is to close to it. My Doctor is trying to get my attention, I finally snap to and say, I'm here, i'm here, whats wrong, because I did not understand why all these doctors were around me. The orthopedic doctor tells me that I was out, how she was beating on my chest to try and get my heart started and how she was slapping me in the face trying to get me to respond for over four minutes with no success.

They have it in my medical record as me code bluing. The doctor explained that I had no pulse, was foaming at the mouth and she could hear the gurgling sounds as the oxygen was leaving my lungs.

Present day

Now I have felt down just like anyone else in their life, but ever since this happened and I experienced death first hand, I am having a very hard time getting pasted the fact that I experienced this. I was gone, there was nothing. No thought, Just nothing, that is not what is messing me up, it is the fact that I remember that there was nothing that is. I can not explain the nothing that I experienced.as it is hard to imagine because we think so much as living beings and can not turn off our minds for a split second to comprehend nothingness.

I do no want to make this religious at all, and state that I am not religious in the least, and am not trying to trample on anyone persons beliefs, but merely conveying my own personal experience. With that being said I will try to explain what I am going through.

It is this nothingness that is plaguing me, I am now trying to make sense of it and the only thing I can come up with is that there is no meaning to our existence, and there is no point on doing anything, it is complete chaos and completely meaningless. and we are just trying to create some sort of meaning to blind us from the fact that there is nothingness waiting for each and everyone of us when we die, yet some like to think that there is something grander to it all to try and bring some type of order to the chaos.

We get 50 to 100 years if we are lucky, and in those years we feed ourselves lies, for what? Do we lie to ourselves for the sake of a just in case? I do not understand this, Even though I have felt the grasp of nothingness, maybe it is for the sake of just in case that I do not just end it now. I do not know why I continue on as if there is some point to it all, I just do.

So you see. I am in a dark place, semi emotionless, semi emotional.

I posted in another thread a while back about how people experience the white light or tunnel and I will post my thought on that here again. I believe that when a person experiences this, it is the bodies vitals starting up again, like a pc restarting and you see the underscore before the computer actually restarts, maybe that is our brain restarting just before we come to.

Anyway, I thought I would share my darkness for no apparent reason, maybe you know something I do not or have some insight in to what I am experiencing.

You where passed out for 4 minutes, maybe your soul has not even had a chance to leave the body.

Most people who experience the light are gone for hours.

Similar to dreaming, you rarely have a dream if your out for a few minutes.

reply to post by I think Im normal


hello,

I have been in limbo for five years now, going through the ascension process. although my story is different than yours i understand your reaction to the feeling of nothingness. it took me about 3 years to adjust to and accept it as part of life. i was like an animal in a cage for a very long time and well today it just makes sense. i can't imagine life being any other way. it answers a lot of questions to life if you allow yourself to really really explore it.

it can open you up to a whole new reality that yes forces you to accept that there is no meaning to life (meaning only exists with the ego) but at the same time opens you up to life being something that is so much more and so much better. pure creation. unlimited possibility. this is really where our true power lies being able to see this and understand this and connect to this.

if you can see your experience as a gift and explore what it means instead of getting lost in what you now have to let go of related to how you used to view life it can be a really great opportunity to expand your sense of self and your perspective on life.

reply to post by I think Im normal


I wonder, do you have children? In so many ways our children are pieces of ourselves that have the capability of continuing our existence long after we have passed . Is there a meaning there? I don't know but I do think it is something more than nothing. Other than that it is also true that in time the flesh of our bodies will be absorbed and redistributed by the ecosystem.

And then there is always today to make the best we can of. Enjoy

R

You know what, I think im normal.....


what I can't share my opinion?

(crickets)

On a more 'serious' note (serious face)...


I want to let you know that I am not religious...but I have had what I tend to call a 'Spiritual Awakening' as corny as it sounds. I am not a 'Prophet' I don't think I am better than anyone else in anyway...but I'll let you in on a little secret:

Life is Eternal.

I will tell you here and now, you can take it or leave it...but it will not change the 'fact'.

being here on Earth, as far as 'learning' about the 'other side' goes, there is really have nothing to learn...we just need to remember. You know this!!!! I am only reminding you.

Now that we know that Life is Eternal...you can choose to make it your Truth or you can choose to doubt and let fear reign. Now it will take time for it to become a Truth for you, if ever..so I am not asking you to blindly accept.


Just know that you are unconditionally Loved by Something seemingly much bigger than yourself.

Well OP I am not going to knock your experience or you, but I find it strange that you "experienced" the nothingness, because if you experienced it that means there was some form of consciousness or something. Otherwise, you wouldn't experience it or remember it, you would have just gone out and then woke up after you came back, like when you sleep and don't remember your dreams.

Now, what the void was that you experienced, I can't say and will not try to speculate, but I can say at the very least, there was something there, and that was the part of you; whatever you want to call it, that experienced the void. So, not really "nothing".

Anyway wish you the best of luck, coming to grips with your experience.

Originally posted by prisoneronashipoffools
Well OP I am not going to knock your experience or you, but I find it strange that you "experienced" the nothingness, because if you experienced it that means there was some form of consciousness or something. Otherwise, you wouldn't experience it or remember it, you would have just gone out and then woke up after you came back, like when you sleep and don't remember your dreams.

I did not recall the nothingness as if I was in it floating around. I experienced it in the sense of the absence of anything after the fact. I was sitting there one sec, four plus minutes later I sat up as if I never was gone. It is the fact that i cannot remember anything and did not feel anything that makes me think of nothingness. Like I said I cannot explain it. other than I know it happened

So hey, you could be correct. I will not know until it happens again and do not come back from it.

Originally posted by iforget
reply to post by I think Im normal

 

I wonder, do you have children? In so many ways our children are pieces of ourselves that have the capability of continuing our existence long after we have passed . Is there a meaning there? I don't know but I do think it is something more than nothing. Other than that it is also true that in time the flesh of our bodies will be absorbed and redistributed by the ecosystem.

And then there is always today to make the best we can of. Enjoy

R

I do have two kids, and a wife, and I believe it is the fact of having them there that keeps me going, even though I feel there may be no meaning to our existence, it would not be fair for me to push that thought on to them, it is their life and theirs to figure it out. I hope that they feel differently than me, as I do not like feeling this way. Before this happened to me, I was a happy going guy and looked at most days with a smile, now I only smile when I look at my wife and kids, everything else is meh.

So in a sense I think I get what your saying.

Originally posted by nicolet
reply to post by I think Im normal

 

hello,

I have been in limbo for five years now, going through the ascension process. although my story is different than yours i understand your reaction to the feeling of nothingness. it took me about 3 years to adjust to and accept it as part of life. i was like an animal in a cage for a very long time and well today it just makes sense. i can't imagine life being any other way. it answers a lot of questions to life if you allow yourself to really really explore it.

it can open you up to a whole new reality that yes forces you to accept that there is no meaning to life (meaning only exists with the ego) but at the same time opens you up to life being something that is so much more and so much better. pure creation. unlimited possibility. this is really where our true power lies being able to see this and understand this and connect to this.

if you can see your experience as a gift and explore what it means instead of getting lost in what you now have to let go of related to how you used to view life it can be a really great opportunity to expand your sense of self and your perspective on life.

I think I get what you are saying and I am just not there yet, its like something on the tip of your tongue, but you just cant spit it out.

reply to post by I think Im normal


I know you said you are not religious, what do you mean by this? Do you mean you do not believe in God or do you mean you do not belong to any religion?

I get the impression from your statement that you possibly do not believe in God and may possibly be agnostic or even an atheist. If I am wrong, I am sorry, but that is the impression I got.

Not that it really matters.

As to your experience, I just wanted to let you know, if you didn't already, that your experience actually matches what the Bible says about death. It says that when we die, our spirits (which is the breath of God that makes us a living soul) go back to God, and our human bodies die, and go to dust.

The important and interesting thing about this is, the Bible then goes on to say that death is like sleep, and that we don't know anything after that happens, until we are resurrected. Just like if you were to fall asleep, you would have no idea what was going on around you, unless unless something happened which caused you to awaken.

So don't despair, thinking nothingness is what awaits us when we die.

I truly believe that the state of nothingness that we experience when we die is similar to falling asleep, but is only temporary. The time between falling asleep and waking up seems like the blink of an eye even though we may sleep for a very long time.

Maybe the reason you had that experience is so that you would then do exactly what you are doing right now.........really questioning the meaning of it all.

I think that Yahweh, who calls Himself our Father, will show you what the purpose of your experience was. Maybe it was His way of getting your attention. I know He got my attention in a way I didn't really appreciate at the time, but now I understand it was to wake me up.

So whether you believe in Him or not, why don't you just ask Him?