posted on Feb, 6 2012 @ 11:42 PM
Stranded and confused in a desolate sea of bleak discomfort, paranoia, and despair. A horizon colored in gray melancholy. The terrain, robbed of its
green, birds of their sound, air of its warmth, and life of its hope. Alone I stand, my face fixed towards eternity. Slowly the scene moves. Vultures
circle around rotting prey in the distant field. Their speed reduced, causing my mind confusion.
Stumbling as I pick myself out of the dirt and onto the road side. Wind, whistling to the tune of angels as it dances past me. Ahead and behind me
lays a road; stretching in each direction without limit. I breathe in the air, only to sense it robbed of fragrance. Even as it appears to be day
there seems to be little light. The sky engulfed with angry clouds of darkness set adrift.
Onward I must go. Where does the road take me? What threats await me? That is only to be discovered. Slowly my feet begin to transport my body down
the road. The vision of what is ahead begins to move like waves. I refocus by staring towards the ground so as to not become nauseated. Panic, the
unwanted whore of an anxiety ridden mind awakens from her slumber to torture me.
Upon hearing a noise I turn towards the open landscape to scan for signs of activity. Nothing appears to be in my physical presence. Again the wind
rushes past me in a large thrust. An image appears in the wind; too blurry for recognition. But clear enough to gain a feeling of anguish.
Suddenly there is a whisper in my ear, “memento mori”. An icy chill creeps up my spine causing the hair to arise on my neck. Looking around, I see
no one else near. But in the distance is an obscure figure which disappears upon the focus of my eye. It can be viewed exclusively with my peripheral
After walking what would only be described as miles, the soles of my feet began to ache. Resting alongside the road to rub them, an old rusty truck
can be viewed in the distance approaching me. I begin to wave my arms frantically but it does not appear to be slowing. As the truck approaches I
resort to yelling for its attention, again with no success. Finally the truck is near my side when I realize he will not stop for my aid.
Facing his direction I look inside the driver’s window and see the most horrifying image in my life. Unable to figure out why it struck me so hard
as to cause the breath to race from my chest, an inner voice began to speak to me; its message only partially being translated by my reason. What was
clear to me though is that the figure was not of this world.
Frantically picking myself up, I started to walk again. Then appeared that obscure figure in the distance; one which does not permit my viewing.
Becoming frustrated, I close my eyes in the hope that it was but a mere illusion. Hopefully the mind is but playing tricks upon the eyes. Upon
reopening the figure was closer.
Now walking turned into running for fear had set in. There is something away in that field following me; wreaking havoc on my sanity. Now as I am
running the road begins to move ever so slowly, mimicking a wave in its appearance. Looking around only exacerbated the problem.
Running out of breath the speed of my movement dramatically reduced. Yet even after the hours of walking all of the surroundings look familiar. There
was nothing but this long road. Around it for far as the eye could see was nothing but flat land of loose dirt and rocks. Again there was a whisper in
my ear, “memento mori”; uttered from the lips of an invisible entity.
“God,” I spoke aloud, “please direct me away from the darkness and distress. Open my eyes towards the right path and free me from this
nightmare.” There occurred no response. The world appeared even darker, I cannot observe whether it is that the clouds grow darker or the sun sets
upon the horizon.
A tree appears ahead; in it is the silhouette of a bird. As I approached the tree, which before had not been present, the bird’s figure was still
not revealed to me. A silhouette he remained perched upon a lonely branch of that dead tree. I stopped to gaze at the specimen. My eyes had become
locked as the gaze deepened. It then appeared to me as an abyss with the outline of a bird.
Yet as my gaze into the abyss continued, I felt the abyss beginning to gaze into me. With a racing heart I struggled to tear away from the bird. As my
eyes had become free the obscure figure reappeared. This time, it was not so obscured. It was a man sitting at a table in the baron wasteland that
surrounded the road. His silence was deafening.
For an unknown reason I started towards him. It felt as though I was without control of myself. As I approached it became colder and dizziness set in.
Quickly taking a seat on the far side of the table; he was still looking down. After a few moments of silence I inquired, “What is your name?” The
man did not budge. Inquiring again I asked, “Why were you following me?”
Slowly his head rose to look at me. He removed the hood of his cloak and there sat death. From his lips came the words, “memento mori”. A painful
bright light blinded me, forcing shut my eyes. After roughly a minute of time I reopened my eyes to see that I was again at the same point in the road
from whence my journey began. This time however my conscious had forgotten about the past experience.
As I stand aside I can see myself appearing stranded and confused; however now this observation is from outside of the body. I start out journeying
down the road again. As he walked I followed from a distance to observe. It occurred to me now, I was my own death. It was me who robbed that vessel
of life, I robbed myself of life. Even after recognizing this however, there was nothing stopping me from doing it again.
Trying to alter the course of what is to be appeared not to be working. I followed myself again through the baron wasteland, gazing at myself walking
the abandoned road. Reality set in, this was fate. The road was my life; lonely, desolate, and my emotions on the road were the culmination of the
pain that was always existent for me. Everything was to be repeated again and I fear, continuously on forever for the rest of eternity. Each time
ending in death at my own hands, each time engulfed in misery, each time same as the last. Life, as now revealed to me, is repeated endlessly. Death
signifies only the end of one life to begin the next one which shall share the same fate.