The do over. [TJWC]

Monday, February 6th, 2012
I've just jotted down my short story onto a site I frequent. Here I sit at 3:30 in the morning, broken hearted still over my fiancee, all there really is to do is to drift off to sleep and hope I see her one more time in dreams.

Sunday, Feb 5th, 2012
It's been eleven weeks since she died. All the stuff that she had gone through, all the traumas from broken relationships, all the injuries and all the surgeries and doctor visits over the last twenty five years, it was finally a diabetic coma that her broken down body could no longer withstand and took her at a too young age. Not a single day has gone by without a thought of her. The pain of losing her is still there with a heartache that has no bounds. All I can think about is the wish that I could have been there all those times to help ease her anguish over this or that event, perhaps helping her avoid some of them. A person would have had to been blind and emotionless not to see the golden heart radiantly glowing behind all the drama from all the hurt.

Monday, November 28th, 2011
It's 1:18 in the morning and I see her pop onto Skype. I think great, she's woken up. But it pops off right away. So I figure maybe it's just an internet connection issue, such things can be common. Five minutes later the phone rings. It's her parent's phone number, not unusual, she's had to live there since May on account of medical issues amongst other things. Didn't take time to wonder why she would be using that phone rather than her cell when I answered. It was her mom calling, words weren't necessary as it was right then my soul screamed.

Sunday, November 27th, 2011
Something is wrong. I'm a thousand miles away and I just know something is wrong. She's been sick, new meds, all the stress of dealing with the doctors and surgeries over the past few years, hasn't been able to hold anything down for weeks besides sweets. She hasn't been online all day. Mostly been thinking she has just been getting some well needed sleep, just haven't been able to shake the feeling that something is wrong. Been difficult watching her go through all this, how badly it affects her.

Summer and Fall, 2011
Odd that. Never thought I would fall in love again. Even though I had some reservations about falling in love, all it really took was just the word from her. We'd known each other for nine years online. That's like forever in the digital age. Always liked her. Some subconscious reflex I had allowed that I understood her in ways that I hadn't been able to understand in others. Always something had been going on in our respective lives that were there that kept us sidetracked from being more than good friends. Kind of wondered about the potential when she had phoned me the previous August. She was the one that I thought of most when I had been offline for three months after that over the fall and early winter when I was going through cancer treatments.


Friday, April 1st, 1983
I fall asleep during a slow day during the three hour block of building trades class. We usually took Fridays for the book learning part, but this late in the senior year, it was futile since it was spring, and we'd already finished the bookwork. So there I am, zonked out slowly absorbing the book learning through the side of my face.

Wednesday, April 1st, 1987
Clunk!!! There goes the books again onto the class floor. And, Dang!!!!, fell out of the chair again. It's what I get for falling asleep at my computer keyboard again. I look around confused at the school library books on the shelves and the table I'm now sat on the floor next too. As a dark haired beauty comes over and looks at me asking me if I am all right.