posted on Dec, 27 2011 @ 01:45 PM
I'm sorry that you had a rough Christmas. My family is dysfunctional as well, so after many screwed-up Christmases, I don't bother with "family"
get-togethers any more.
I think the problem comes from our societal expectation that Christmas is supposed to be this magical time of togetherness, family closeness and happy
times spent basking in each other's love. This expectation is unrealistic in many families. Most people become highly disappointed and stressed-out
this time of year because of this expectation.
For future holidays, it helps to remember a few simple things:
1. Don't expect a dysfunctional family to suddenly become like a Norman Rockwell painting. Nothing changes over the holidays, and, in fact, most
people become even more weird. Accept them as they are, but never let them walk all over you.
2. Get together with your family and try to get through it. If your sister has issues, confront her directly and let her know that her animosity
makes it hard to be together. If she insists on giving you the cold shoulder, know that you did what you could and let it go. The problem is
obviously hers, not yours.
3. You also have the option of not seeing them at all. Yes it sounds cold, but sometimes we have to let certain family members go because their
presence in our lives is toxic. I have a brother I haven't spoken to in over a decade because being around him is too difficult. I wish him the
best, but I cannot be in the same house with him.
4. There is an old saying that goes, family is made up of people you wouldn't choose as friends if you had a choice. Therefore, a little love is
necessary. But don't expect it in return. 'Tis the season to give, don't worry about receiving.
Know that there are a lot of us out in cyber land who have families who put the DIS in dysfunction. It's sad, but it will be ok. Be a good person
and be thankful for what you do have, and let the rest slide.