Every day, every minute, and every second I to have to deal with my Ego. It’s like WWIII and maybe even worse at times because I cannot get away
from this war. The fact that I am more conscious of it today than I was a few years back makes it an interesting battle. I have tried many things to
overcome my Ego’s dominance, but that sucker just keeps popping its ugly head back up.
I will define my Ego, because I believe that most of you have to deal with your own too.
My Ego, or something that I feel is part of me, yet not part of me, something that speaks up inside of me, but mostly in a negative way. It tries to
control most of my thought process, or when I am tranquil it tries to disturb the peacefulness with fear, confusion, doubt, humiliation, anger,
extreme judgment, and finally chaos of any kind. Rarely does the Ego maintain a positive outlook, or even if a positive comment occurs it is met with
a negative criticism sooner or later. It’s like a dog owner giving its dog a treat and praising it, only to kick it in the ass right after the
There are many times I will just be driving along and out of nowhere my ego will pipe-up and say “if that loser digs any deeper in his nose he’ll
pull his brain out”, or maybe something like “OK lady take one more step off that curb and your be on the six-o-clock news”. I think you get
Judgment of others is only one of its fine qualities, but when it starts to personally attack me it does its worst. Since my Ego knows my most
intimate thoughts, and knows everything about me it can be very kind at first, but will always and I mean always turn on me. Example: “Wow you did
a great job on that project, but you could have done it more efficiently.” WTF! More and More I am catching my Ego criticizing me on things it has
no right to.
Now as I journey back through time, and think about when I was a child my thought process was completely different. I was more tolerant, more
forgiving and much more apt to speak what was on my mind, because it was pure and criticisms of my personal self were almost nonexistent.
Some have said the Ego is there to protect us, but I feel the ego does more harm than good. And although I appreciate what I have learned from my
Ego, it’s time for it to go away for good. I personally feel the Ego is responsible for most of the chaos in our world.
One of the reasons I think many of us turn to meditation, relaxation methods, dancing or any other distraction that makes us happy is to get away from
our Ego’s for just a short time.
Why do we let our Ego’s control the majority of our lives? possibly lack of consciousness, or being aware? Not sure but..
I would like to replace my Ego with thoughts of constant love, unconditional love, love that good dreams are made of. Some people may laugh, scoff,
and ridicule what I have just said because it’s mushy, soft, weak, and idealistic, but my reply to you is……..It’s your Ego talking, or
thinking that, not the true you.
Most of us do not know who we truly are, including me. Our pure self is the true self, which I believe is unconditional love, not the negative
chaotic monster we deal with on a constant basis.
I will take responsibility for my Ego, even though I have at times allowed it to influence my life in a negative way. I am diligently trying to
replace ugly negative thoughts with positive loving ones, every time I become conscious of them. I thank my Ego for what I have learned from it, but
now I would like it to go away forever.
A recent thread has allowed me to post my thoughts, without worrying about any negative comments that may follow, from your Ego or mine. lol!
I love you all unconditional and appreciate everything you do in this world. I know we are all from the same place and will all return there sooner
My Ego just said to me…..”That’s enough about you, let’s talk about you now”
Peace and Love,
edit on 19-12-2011 by Realtruth because: (no reason given)