Fake news alert! a predator drone crashed into the whitehouse lawn

Just my bored antics, hope you enjoy!

December 13ish, 2011

The national transportation and cigarette agency has asked all drivers to refrain from looking at porn while driving. Truck drivers and airline pilots still allowed. If you are looking at porn on a blue tooth that's still okay. So in other words the porn viewing better be hands free.

In international news, Iran has complained that the downed drone did not contain a suitable in flight movie, an unnamed iranian official has said that the movie involved too much hillary clinton and too little of a bathing suit. Ahmadenijad said the image could not even be salvaged after they computer scanned a burka over her body.

The #OWS movement gained momentum today when a group of elderly senior citizens decided to #occupy duck lake. A police officer in a tank thought they were playing chess so he #ded their butts.

In other news a predator done crashed into the white house lawn today. Obama has asked for it back. No word yet if he will comply with his request.

Thanks for tuning in, will be back with other fake news tomorrow-ish.

reply to post by filosophia


Wouldnt that be something if Iran did send back the drone to Obama as requested only having it land where THEY wanted it to land???

December 14 2011 & 11/12ths

John Boner, no relation to John Boehner, has said the Crib of Representatives has passed the tax cut extension bill, so in other words nothing happens. Surprisingly Boner said it will increase job satisfaction and patriotism. President O$ama was pissed and said "if ya'll don't raise taxes the Koch Brothers will get more rich. Beware the Koch Konspiracy."

The man that shouted "death to all eskimos" during the 100th annual Eskimo Independence Day celebration admitted he was paid 100 "bones" by the CIA as part of operation "Hollywood Movie Title". President O$ama declined to comment on the operation but said the incident would be used to limit the first amendment, and the 99th amendment: "race hate against eskimos is okay."

The Crib of Representatives will vote Thursdayish to allow the president the power to "detain indefinitely people who say annoying things at occupy protests, including but not limited to that woman who starred in that show named after her, and that other annoying guy that looks like her."

In international news, a burglar in the UK was stopped by a brave police officer named Johnathon Smith. Smith will face 10-15 years according to UK law.

In other news the senate has just 78 seconds to vote on a debt limit extension or the entire country will blow up.

Thanks for tuning in and remember to visit our sponsor: Gulf Coast Shrimp, because "if you don't buy from us, the military will have to."

Faking News Alert The U.S. has imposed a no-fly zone over Syria, Syria has no airplanes so it's unclear what this amounts to.

In other news the stock market took a tumble when a man drove his truck into it.

Dec 15

Communist news network: Iowa showdown an all out battle royal.

The stakes could not be higher as one globalist after another faces off. Will it be rick perry in favor of a north american union, newt gingrich who is in favor of a one world order, or mitt who is owned by the nwo corproations. The voters have a tough choice, which globalist puppet will they pretend to pick?

Of course there is some other guy, ron paul , who has a major fan support but that doesn't matter baecause he's not popular enough to win. Sure he has millions of fans but his fans don't really like him. this is communist news network signing off.

In other news the u.s. has officially declared the end of world war 2.

December 16 ish

A new report suggests that 3 out of 2 americans are poor. This comes shortly after obama announced a full economic recovery.

The troops have come home from iraq, but the celebration may be short lived because they may be shipped to niburu after Christmas to fight space aliens stephen hawking views in his dreams.

Obama is set to sign a "i'm awesome, i'm great, worship me please or else" bill. Law makers fought over an amendment to remove "or else" from the language. It failed, obama played air guitar shortly afterwards, until his teleprompter broke.

Gop debates tonight, so make sure you change the channel otherwise you might catch ron paul. Thanks for tuning into the communist news network.

December 17

John McInsane, leading crazy person in the house of representatives has stated friday that the drone that crashed in iran has "turned rogue" and has now joined the enemy. "Apparently the drone took liberal talking points a bit too far and is now a full fledged iranian citizen, willing to wage jihad against america," McInsane said. Some republicans disagree, saying the drone is an aircraft, not a person and thus can't have citizenship of any country. McInsane fired back that such a stance is "too soft" and will lead to the "obliteration of all life in the universe" if action is not taken immediately. The drone did not immediately return our calls for comments.

December 18 2011 9/10ths

The Satanic Weekly has officially endorsed Mayer Amschel Rothschild for president. This is not too surprising since the Rothschilds own the newspaper, what is surpring is they chose someone who has been dead for 200 years. When asked to comment the newspaper said, "well, at least it's a better choice than bachmann."

In other news presidential hopeful Ron Paul has accused Michel Bachmann of hating herself. "Anyone that dedicated to war and destruction most not have a high opinion of themselves, maybe she didn't get hugged enough as a child," Paul commented. Bachmann returned comment saying, "I don't hate myself, I just hate what I've become."

In other news O$ama has signed a government spending bill into law, allowing the government to operate for an additional 13.8 seconds.