What are those things? [WTB]

What are those things?

There's one of them. Ah, yes, I even recognize it as one I have seen before.

It's the eyes. The eyes are always a dead give away. Intensions.

This particular specimen crosses my path every morning. I go to get my morning paper and there it is, staring atme like I might (for whatever reason) dart across the lawn and stomp it's head into the ground. And maybe I will. I had never really thought about before, until just now. I guess I could set a trap for it, wait till it's nice and captured, jump out of the bushes and SPLAT!

Jesus, did I really just have that thought?

I mean, these things are pointless. These things are everywhere, serve no purpose at all, and yet because of some obscure law (or something equally as ridiculous), I am not allowed to hunt them.

And, yes, I would hunt them.

I believe in living peacefully with the critters of the world, but these things...

I guess I could hunt them, as long as I am discrete about it. I could sneak out at night with one of my hunting rifles and take care a few of these problems.

They even look kind of tasty. Oh, yea... I could have a lot of fun eating one of those things. They are pretty disgusting looking, but so are cows, and beef is good.

Yes, as long as I am discrete, I bet I could start ridding my neighborhood of these pests.

I remember being a kid and seeing these things all over the place and thinking, "woa, those things are scary". Though, as an adult I see them and think "why do I put up with these things?"

Ugly, sweating, hairy, noisy little sacks of meat, just yearning for my frying pan.

You know, what? I'm going to do it. So what if I ever get in trouble? I'm doing a public service and I think God himself would approve of my doings. I just can't find true peace with these things in my life.

I'm not moving. I have lived here my whole life.

Yes, I'm getting my rifle and my revenge.

Those things are in for Hell.

Heh...people. I hate them.

Are we talking about your neighbors?
lol

reply to post by applesthateatpeople


People taste horrible..........

Nice...enjoyable and funny (I don't know if it was meant to be humorous...but I found it funny)!

I never stop by and read any of the stories posted here...I guess I have been missing out!

Anyway...S & F'ed it...thanks for the read!

I think he's talking about those damn apples that eat people. I've heard of them before but never got to experience one. I'd get rid of them too.

reply to post by applesthateatpeople


WTB??? I don't know what you are talking about. What is that supposed to stand for?


I know what it's for in my screen name, but in this context?

Originally posted by wtbengineer
reply to post by applesthateatpeople

 

WTB??? I don't know what you are talking about. What is that supposed to stand for?

It's for a writing competition which began a short while ago: Where's the Beef Writing Contest [WTB].

reply to post by wtbengineer


They make me do it.

I hope that,

1- You're not my neighbor.

2- You're not serious.

Why does this bring Gacy to mind?

I bet he thought it was cool too.

If it is JUST a story,

Apologies..

reply to post by rbnhd76


It is just a story. And yes, Gacy was inspiration.

reply to post by Rising Against


Thank you very much for enlightening me. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what that could be.

Gosh, I was thinking, rats, maybe a squirrel infestation. People? What a shocker.

Flag from me. Good entry.

reply to post by SkyMuerte


Oh... Kay.

Thanks for the tip (I guess).